Beyond The Surface

In this episode, we hear Joel’s story of growing up queer within the weight of conservative evangelical beliefs while slowly finding refuge in contemplative forms of Christianity. He shares his journey from internal conflict and suppression to a life where both his faith and sexuality are fully embraced. We talk about the emotional and mental toll of hiding parts of yourself, the challenges of com...

Spiritual abuse is at the heart of this episode, as Tyler shares his powerful story of leaving a high-control evangelical ministry and the emotional fallout that followed. Raised in a conservative Christian environment, Tyler opens up about the deep impact of excommunication, shame, and the pressure to conform, especially as he began to embrace his queer identity. We dive into the complex layers o...

In a compelling and heartfelt discussion, the podcast explores the challenges of navigating faith alongside the complexities of queerness and personal identity. The conversation centres around Steff’s life experiences, marked by the duality of their upbringing in a conservative religious setting and their exploration of their queer identity. We unpack the societal pressures and inner conflicts tha...

In this episode, Brandon shares his experience of coming out of evangelicalism and navigating the complex intersections of faith, identity, and queerness. Raised in a non-denominational charismatic church, Brandon reflects on how that environment shaped his worldview and the deep tension he felt trying to reconcile his sexuality with what he was taught. We talk about the grief of coming out, the p...

Josie’s journey from devout Anglican to questioning her faith is one of courage and introspection, a path familiar to many who’ve walked the tightrope between belief and doubt. Embraced by the Church at just 10 years old, her decades-long relationship with faith shaped her identity in profound ways. In this episode, Josie opens up about navigating evangelism, rigid gender roles during her college...

AJ was just 15 when she was drawn into Mormonism, pulled in by the love-bombing and sense of belonging it offered. In this episode of Beyond the Surface , she shares what it was like to join the Church from a secular background, navigate strict rules and rituals through her teen years, and eventually face the slow, painful process of questioning everything. From avoiding certain rites as a “conver...

Colby, a pastor, and author of Unclobber shares his journey of deconstructing his faith, particularly around LGBTQ+ inclusion in the church. Growing up in a conservative Baptist environment, he reflects on how deeply ingrained beliefs of exclusion shaped his views, and how he came to see the Bible’s so-called “clobber passages” as a message of love and acceptance. Colby discusses the challenges of...

This podcast episode delves into the intricate topic of deconstructing monogamy, wherein we engage in a profound exploration of diverse relationship structures. Our conversation centres on the societal norms surrounding monogamy, particularly within high-control faith contexts, and the implications these norms have on individual identity and relational dynamics. The episode not only illuminates th...

In this episode, Emily opens up about growing up in a high-control religious environment and the emotional toll it took on her sense of self. She reflects on how the rigid beliefs of her faith once felt grounding but eventually left her feeling anxious, stifled, and disconnected from her own identity. Her story captures the often messy and deeply personal journey of deconstructing long-held belief...

Ex-Jehovah’s Witness, musician, and filmmaker Scott takes us on a powerful journey of identity, creativity, and liberation. Growing up in a high-control religious environment, Scott found freedom through music, filmmaking, and ultimately, the act of walking away. His documentary Witness Underground is a moving tribute to artists who, like him, broke free from religious constraints and reclaimed th...

Steph’s (She/They) journey is anything but ordinary. Raised in Spain and California by missionary parents, faith wasn’t just a belief—it was her family’s entire identity. In this episode, she shares what it was like growing up in a world shaped by martyrdom, purity culture, and rigid gender expectations, and how these pressures left her feeling rootless and anxious. Together, we unpack the emotion...

Larry shares his journey from a rigid Catholic upbringing to a broader, more personal exploration of spirituality. His story weaves through early experiences shaped by guilt and expectation, a high-pressure career in investment banking, and a life-altering moment following the events of September 11, 2001. This turning point led Larry to explore diverse spiritual traditions - both Eastern & We...

This bonus episode delves into the profound complexities surrounding the celebration of Easter, particularly for those who have experienced religious trauma. We explore the multifaceted emotions that arise during this season, acknowledging that for many, Easter serves as a poignant reminder of guilt and suffering rather than joy. Both Jane and I reflect on our personal experiences of navigating th...

This episode explores the complexities of religious trauma and faith deconstruction, shedding light on the psychological and emotional toll of leaving high-control religious communities. Jacqui shares her story of growing up in Australia with a deep spiritual yearning that clashed with her agnostic family background, leading her into church communities that both fulfilled and constrained her. The...

Spicy book author Sara Madderson joins Beyond the Surface to explore the intersections of faith, sexuality, and personal identity, drawing from her convent education in Dublin and Manchester. She reflects on the pervasive guilt and shame instilled by Catholic teachings and the ways purity culture shaped her understanding of desire and repression. As the conversation unfolds, Sara discusses her lit...

Marla’s (who I have dubbed the 'Heretical Poet') journey is one of profound transformation, from a conservative evangelical upbringing to an open-minded and inclusive perspective. She shares the challenges of maintaining authenticity, unlearning ingrained biases, and navigating traditional marriage ideals while deconstructing her faith. Her experiences across different U.S. regions shape her refle...

Authenticity is at the heart of this episode as we sit down with Nismah, who shares her journey from growing up in a strict evangelical household to deconstructing her faith. She reflects on the emotional struggle of reconciling her sexuality with religious beliefs and the pressures of purity culture, particularly for women. Nismah opens up about her time at Bible college, drawn by an unconscious...

This episode explores faith, identity, and religious trauma through Linda’s personal journey. Growing up in a tightly-knit Christian community, Linda shares her path through faith transitions, ultimately finding a home in an affirming church. A key discussion centres on the intersection of personal belief and gender identity, particularly in supporting her transgender child. As Linda navigates dec...

This bonus episode explores the complexities of cults and the psychological impact of religious trauma with Gillie Jenkinson, a psychotherapist specialising in cult recovery. Gillie shares her insights and personal experiences, shedding light on the manipulation and control that define cult dynamics. We discuss the lasting effects on those who leave and the vital role of psychoeducation in rebuild...

In this episode of Beyond the Surface , Kit (he/they) shares their deeply personal journey of growing up in the Bible Belt and navigating the impact of religious trauma. Raised in a home influenced by Dr. James Dobson’s child-rearing methods, Kit reflects on the atmosphere of fear and control that shaped their early years. They discuss how this environment, along with the pervasive Christian cultu...

In this episode of Beyond the Surface , Micki shares her powerful journey of breaking free from the Jehovah’s Witness community and navigating life beyond its rigid confines. She reflects on the deep psychological impact of growing up in a high-control religious environment, the fear and uncertainty that came with leaving, and the struggle to redefine her identity outside of the faith. Our convers...

Brady’s journey from a conservative evangelical upbringing to a spiritually liberated life is a powerful exploration of faith, identity, and emotional healing. Growing up under the pressure to conform, he struggled with fear, burnout, and the need for external validation. As he stepped away from organised religion, he discovered the importance of authenticity, safe spaces for vulnerability, and me...

Episode Summary Jess shares her journey from a rigid religious upbringing to a more expansive and liberating spiritual understanding, shaped by her parents’ transition from Indonesian pop stars to church ministers. Growing up in a Pentecostal Charismatic environment, she struggled with purity culture, the pressure to meet impossible religious standards, and restrictive doctrines like the ‘Dating R...

Episode Summary This episode delves deep into the intricacies of coercive control and spiritual abuse within religious communities, highlighting how these dynamics can lead to profound psychological and emotional harm. Bethany, shares her extensive background in the psychology of coercive control and offers valuable insights into the signs of spiritual abuse. They discuss the BITE model, which out...

Episode Summary Nita’s journey of self-discovery reveals her struggle with queerness in a conservative environment, ultimately leading to a powerful realisation about her identity. She reflects on the trauma of leaving a once-belonging community and highlights the value of finding support outside traditional church settings. With vulnerability and honesty, Nita shows how reclaiming joy and peace c...