Beyond Skin Picking & Hair Pulling

Satisfaction, rest, soothing - these are some of the most common things people report they enjoy about picking, pulling, and biting. The biggest reason why we enjoy it so much is that it gives us something we aren't getting enough of in life already - Read the first three words again... Despite how much you might enjoy it, when you begin to address the root cause, you start building a life th...

Understandably, the scars that we create through chronic skin picking, hair pulling and nail biting are not something that we feel good about. The bald patches, thinning, hyperpigmentation, and dwindling nail beds can trigger feelings of shame, self-judgment, or even unlovability.  The problem is, these are also the same emotions that fuel picking, pulling, and biting! It becomes a self-sustaining...

The version of you that is free from chronic skin picking, hair pulling, or nail biting is one that feels confident, creative, compassionate, and calm. These are not just pretty words; this is who you are at your core (as research has discovered)! Now the question is, how do we connect more to this part of ourselves? And how does picking, pulling, and biting both hold you back and help you get the...

Did you know there is a specific brain function that is largely responsible for your chronic picking, pulling, and biting? That's right, you're not broken. You never were. It's your brain over-functioning. In fact, it's a really common struggle in this modern, overstimulated world. Look at all the people who are overworking, overeating, overgiving, overexercising, overthinking,...

After this, if you want a guided meditation on how to drop into your body, listen to episode 108: Why You Can't Slow Down + Somatic Practice to Show You How.  To truly regulate your emotions, you need to get out of your head and into your body. The frustrating thing is that even if we understand this concept on a logical level, we can still be left feeling lost about how to implement it effec...

This is why the typical treatments for OCD - CBT and habit reversal - just don't seem to work. You've been falling through the cracks of ill-fitted treatment and blaming yourself for being a hopelessly broken human being. It's not your fault. You've just been misinformed and going about healing the wrong way. If this resonates, then odds are you'll find hope and a path for...

It's because of your inner critic. But it's not enough to know this one small fact. In fact, maybe reading this leaves you feeling more lost than before. This is because our mind needs to understand the WHY behind new information to make sense of it and organise it in our brain in a way that is helpful. It's like you're on a long hike and someone adds a new, sparkly tool to you...

You're not a freak. I used to feel like there was something deeply wrong with me because of the thoughts that would barge their way into my head at the most random, inappropriate moments. But judging yourself and trying to force the intrusive thoughts away has much the same effect as when we do the same with skin picking, hair pulling, and nail biting - it just makes things worse. Sometimes d...

Yes, hormonal changes are the obvious answer. But let's not forget the medical gaslighting most women have experienced on this topic, AND the unconscious gaslighting we do to ourselves. What is it about all this that makes you want to pick, pull, and bite at your body with a whole new vigour every single month? I think you can feel it. There's something there that isn't being taken...

Stories of success and healing are few and far between in the BFPA* community (*BFPA = BFRB + addiction science) And even when you hear about someone healing from chronic skin picking, hair pulling, or nail biting, there's a little voice that says... "It's not for me." "I'm not like them." That's because you're not getting the full story! You're no...

Are you serious about addressing the root cause of chronic picking, pulling, and/or biting? Are you willing to set aside instant gratification for depth and long-term gain? Then let's talk about the 4 most powerful growth areas! In my 15 years of healing and the 3 years I have spent coaching others, like you, to heal as well, I've observed that the greatest change happens when we stop ob...

Do you feel like you can only rest AFTER all the work is done? While this makes sense for certain tasks, kicking your boots off after a long day's work can certainly feel gratifying. What happens if we struggle to find the time to ever allow ourselves to metaphically "kick off our boots?" When you're stuck on "go", these moments of relief can feel like they're fe...

Chronic skin picking, hair pulling, & nail biting are the result of a disregulated nervous system. So it only makes sense that part of healing involves learning how to regulate it. This means learning how to slow down. AKA - Rest. Easy peasy, right? Right?? Unfortunately, for people like you and me, we didn't really learn how to switch off. Our system is constantly on go, and so it never...

We cannot have true safety, intimacy, and depth without hard conversations. Yet many of us struggle to know how to have a hard conversation and, when we try, it just seems to make things worse rather than better. So what's the point then? The point is this: “The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life.” - Esther Perel The quality of how you communicate determines the...

You've tried gloves, covering mirrors, fidget toys, and maybe even CBT or habit reversal, but none of them really seem to get you the results you're looking for. The problem is that they don't address the  root cause. Emotion is the driving force behind this behaviour, and when we don't address it, it continues to rule our lives. This looks like urges you can't resist and...

It's infuriating and confusing. Why in the world, after a great day, do you end up ruining it with a big old session of picking, pulling, or biting? The answer is actually pretty simple - you're disregulated. AND the best way you've learnt how to calm yourself down is to squish your emotions back down into their box rather than feel them fully. The problem is, knowing the "how&...

You've tried time and time again to "just stop" picking, pulling, and biting at your body. But if willpower were really the solution, something would have changed a LONG time ago. So either you're a broken human being with no hope of ever feeling better or living better... Or you're simply going about this the wrong way. The first one we fear to be the truth. The second on...

You've spent months, years, if not decades, trying to figure out why you pick, pull, or bite at your body... And yet you STILL do it. Why? What's the missing piece to this infuriating puzzle? It's actually pretty straightforward, though I wouldn't say it's easy, but neither is feeling stuck after all this time. Let me tell you exactly what this missing piece is, and how to...

If there's one experience we can all agree on... It's the feeling of hoping things will get better. Hoping that this time will be different. That you'll stop picking. You'll let your skin heal, and you'll finally be free. Except that never happens, and we find ourselves feeling afraid to hope and try because we've been let down so many times in the past. But did you k...

The #1 issue I work on with my clients is feeling shame and self-criticism after a picking, pulling, or biting session. Why do I work with clients on this? It's not just about feeling better; it's because how you treat yourself in these moments directly impacts the length, severity, and frequency of picking sessions! When you learn how to lean into real compassion rather than criticism i...

I've healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking and have spent the past 5 years helping others, like you, to do the same. These are the 6 most life-changing lessons I learnt about healing that I see continue to make a difference in the lives of my clients and those I speak to within this incredible community. They're grounded in science and a deep understanding of what it's like t...

Stress is a big root cause of chronic skin picking, hair pulling, and nail biting. With this in mind, a straightforward solution to being free from these behaviours would be: remove stress = FREEDOM! It's partly true but mostly a total lie and deeply unhelpful. Yes, there are probably some things in your life that cause unnecessary stress that you'd be better off removing... BUT, we cann...

Hope is hard when you've tried for years to stop engaging in a behaviour that you logically understand is not good for you and yet seem to have no control over. It's hard when you fail again and again to "be better." I've spoken to so many incredible people inside this community who desperately want to hope that healing and freedom from chronic skin picking, hair pulling,...

Positive affirmations truly can help you to heal from chronic skin picking, hair pulling, and nail biting BUT... You've got to go about creating them in the  right  way. Most people don't, and so they end up with affirmations that err on the side of toxic positivity. They give the "ick" and make people believe that affirmations are just useless fluff with no substance. Toxic po...

We all have a few abandoned and neglected HEALTHY habits weighing on the back of our minds... "I should journal more, meditate more, exercise more, eat better, or finally get back into that hobby." We know they'd be good for us if we just did them more regularly. If thinking about these neglected habits makes you feel kinda shitty about yourself, then this episode was recorded for y...