Beyond Skin Picking & Hair Pulling

What if the key to healing skin picking, hair pulling, and nail biting is being kinder to yourself, not harder? In this episode, we explore why self-compassion is essential for lasting change and how harsh self-criticism can hold you back . Discover the difference between compassion and giving up, why your struggles don't define your worth, and three simple ways to practice self-compassion. L...

Shame can be one of the biggest things keeping us stuck in the cycle of chronic skin picking, hair pulling and nail biting. We might know logically that there's nothing wrong with us, yet still carry this deep feeling that we're somehow not good enough, that we're broken or that there's something about us that needs fixing. But shame doesn't go away by trying to fix oursel...

What if the key to healing from chronic skin picking, hair pulling or nail biting isn't learning how to control the behaviour, but learning how to feel your feelings? Picking, pulling and biting are ways of changing how we feel. They can help us escape anxiety, discomfort, boredom or other emotions we don't quite know how to handle. But when we learn how to actually sit with and process...

You know there are habits that would be good for you. Exercising, meditating, journaling, doing the deeper work on yourself... And yet, no matter how many times you try, you just can't seem to stay consistent. Maybe you find the motivation when things get really bad, but as soon as life starts feeling better, those good habits slowly fall away again. There's a reason this keeps happening...

Why can chronic skin picking, hair pulling or nail biting become so incredibly addictive? You know the behaviour is hurting you. You desperately want to stop. And yet, your brain keeps pulling you back towards it again and again. There’s actually a reason for this — and when you understand what your brain has learned through these behaviours, so much starts to make sense. In this episode, you&apos...

If evenings are when your picking, pulling or biting tends to get worse, this episode is something you can actually come back to and use when you need it. After a whole day of doing, thinking and being “on”, it can be incredibly difficult to suddenly slow down. Your body might be tired, but your nervous system is still carrying everything from the day and picking, pulling or biting can become the...

What if one of the most powerful tools for healing from chronic skin picking, hair pulling or nail biting has nothing to do with trying to stop the urge? Meditation isn't about getting rid of urges. It can help us learn how to notice them, make space for them and not automatically act on them. And there’s some really interesting research showing us why this can be such a powerful practice. In...

If you had a good childhood, it can be really confusing to look at the ways you struggle today and wonder… why? You might even feel guilty exploring your past because your parents loved you, gave you so much, and other people had it far worse. But having a good childhood doesn't mean you received everything you emotionally needed. In this episode, you'll discover: ✨ Why you can have lov...

If you’ve tried replacing chronic skin picking, hair pulling, or nail biting with something less destructive and found that, so far, the only result has been more frustration and a sense of hopelessness... This is because you can't replace it. You've essentially been beating your head against a wall in the hope that it will feel better.  It's not your fault. I did this for years too...

Your inner critic might be playing a much bigger role in your skin picking, hair pulling or nail biting than you realise. I've spoken to hundreds of people within this community, and this just keeps popping up in a very meaningful way, so it's time to unpack it together. In this episode, you'll discover: ✨ What your inner critic actually is and why it’s not your enemy ✨ Why fighti...

Do you get to the end of the day and feel restless, dissatisfied or like you haven't done enough? What if it's not because you've done something wrong or you need to do better, but because somewhere along the way, you learnt that feeling good is something you have to earn? In this episode, you'll learn: ✨ Why conditional love can make it so hard to relax and actually feel sati...

🙌A great follow-up episode to listen to after this one is 123: Stop The Spiral & Heal After a Picking, Pulling, or Biting Session What if the thing keeping you stuck in chronic skin picking, hair pulling, or nail biting isn't just the behaviour itself, but how you treat yourself because of it? For so many people in this community, there is one thing that shows up again and again: a loud...

This isn't a quick fix, and it won't make the urge disappear. But it is a process that can help you create long-term, sustainable change. These 3 steps were vital in my own healing journey, and I continue to see them help my clients and other wonderful members of this community find their way forward. In this episode, you'll learn how to: ✨ Regulate your emotions through your breat...

Do you find it hard to relax around other people? Do you get stuck in your head, worry about what others are thinking, or feel self-conscious in social situations, whether you're at work, with friends, or simply out in public? I feel with you. I used to be afraid to leave the house and struggled with crippling social anxiety. In this episode, I share the two skills that allowed me to outgrow...

A highly effective practice to reduce the length, severity and frequency of picking, pulling, and biting sessions happens when you least expect. 💜 The moments after a bad session can be some of the hardest. But what if I told you they were also one of the greatest opportunities for healing and growth? In my own healing journey, and in those of my clients, I've consistently seen that how we r...

If, after a picking, pulling, or biting session, you feel: 💔Shame 💔Self-judgment 💔Embarrassment 💔Hopelessness 💔Lost 💔Stuck 💔Apathetic These are all big indications that you need and deserve support in healing. BUT... "... Is it really that bad?" "... I should be able to figure this out myself." If you've had these doubts, there are 2 cognitive defensive mechanisms t...

You're not consistent, not because you lack willpower, but because you think you need to be fixed . When we look at the science of motivation and the incredible impact self-compassion has on our likelihood of moving toward our goals, the first sentence takes on a much more profound meaning. So let's unpack that together: 🌟Understand what's really driving your inconsistency and resi...

Satisfaction, rest, soothing - these are some of the most common things people report they enjoy about picking, pulling, and biting. The biggest reason why we enjoy it so much is that it gives us something we aren't getting enough of in life already - Read the first three words again... Despite how much you might enjoy it, when you begin to address the root cause, you start building a life th...

Understandably, the scars that we create through chronic skin picking, hair pulling and nail biting are not something that we feel good about. The bald patches, thinning, hyperpigmentation, and dwindling nail beds can trigger feelings of shame, self-judgment, or even unlovability.  The problem is, these are also the same emotions that fuel picking, pulling, and biting! It becomes a self-sustaining...

The version of you that is free from chronic skin picking, hair pulling, or nail biting is one that feels confident, creative, compassionate, and calm. These are not just pretty words; this is who you are at your core (as research has discovered)! Now the question is, how do we connect more to this part of ourselves? And how does picking, pulling, and biting both hold you back and help you get the...

Did you know there is a specific brain function that is largely responsible for your chronic picking, pulling, and biting? That's right, you're not broken. You never were. It's your brain over-functioning. In fact, it's a really common struggle in this modern, overstimulated world. Look at all the people who are overworking, overeating, overgiving, overexercising, overthinking,...

After this, if you want a guided meditation on how to drop into your body, listen to episode 108: Why You Can't Slow Down + Somatic Practice to Show You How.  To truly regulate your emotions, you need to get out of your head and into your body. The frustrating thing is that even if we understand this concept on a logical level, we can still be left feeling lost about how to implement it effec...

This is why the typical treatments for OCD - CBT and habit reversal - just don't seem to work. You've been falling through the cracks of ill-fitted treatment and blaming yourself for being a hopelessly broken human being. It's not your fault. You've just been misinformed and going about healing the wrong way. If this resonates, then odds are you'll find hope and a path for...

It's because of your inner critic. But it's not enough to know this one small fact. In fact, maybe reading this leaves you feeling more lost than before. This is because our mind needs to understand the WHY behind new information to make sense of it and organise it in our brain in a way that is helpful. It's like you're on a long hike and someone adds a new, sparkly tool to you...

You're not a freak. I used to feel like there was something deeply wrong with me because of the thoughts that would barge their way into my head at the most random, inappropriate moments. But judging yourself and trying to force the intrusive thoughts away has much the same effect as when we do the same with skin picking, hair pulling, and nail biting - it just makes things worse. Sometimes d...