Better Mind, Better Life!

I want you to take a little trip down memory lane with me, back to those golden years between elementary and high school. My “golden years” were iconic in more ways than one. Recently I was thinking about some of the things that defined those years for me, and I realized that—believe it or not—one of the most iconic arcade games of all time actually makes a perfect analogy for how life and our bra...

Chances are, either you yourself, someone you know, or at the very least, someone you’ve read or listened to, has used the phrase “your truth” or “my truth.” And the first time you heard someone use one (or both), you probably found yourself a little confused. But over the past few years, those phrases have become so common that it’s hard to imagine they haven’t always been part of everyday Englis...

I recently heard an Instagram influencer (meaning he has 2.6m followers) who said, “You were MADE for greatness! You were BORN for greatness. You weren’t made for average or ordinary.” So, what exactly does it mean to be GREAT … a great man, a great woman, a great parent, a great friend, a great leader, a great student, a great artist, doctor, teacher, salesman, musician, athlete, speaker …? If yo...

There’s a new, uber-powerful buzzword in town, and its name is “Gaslighting.” In fact, it’s hard to jump on the internet or turn on the TV or radio without someone mentioning either being gaslit or complaining about this or that person gaslighting others. But as is often the case with buzzwords, the true meaning can get lost amidst the noise of abundant usage. So in this episode, I dig into some e...

Apparently, this is a debate that has raged for some time in the psychological community. I think it’s an interesting topic. (I think what’s even MORE interesting is what this particular topic has to do with Easter! I’ll also touch on that in this episode.) It certainly is a topic that has become widespread throughout modern American culture. It’s hard to imagine how any self-help guru on the plan...

What is it that really sets good leaders apart from everyone else? Now, I’ll admit that I’m no expert on the matter, but I’ve got a few … uh, decades, of learning and observation under my belt. And while it may very well be true that there are “21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership,” (H/T to J-Max) it seems to me that there are at least two SIMPLE, but critical components that MUCH of those laws (and...

According to the site Quote Investigator, an anonymous filler item in a Plainfield, New Jersey newspaper in September 1936 included the following quote: They say hard work never killed anyone but some of us are just naturally apprehensive and timid and don’t like to take chances. It's funny because it's so true! None of us are born wanting to work hard. In the words of Jackson Browne and Glenn Fre...

This is the fourth and final installment of a mini-series exploring the continuum of loneliness and belonging. In part 1 , I talked about loneliness, how disturbingly common it is, and how it can wreak havoc in our lives. In part 2 , I went over Self-determination theory and how it might relate to belonging and community. In part 3 , I looked at the three-pronged "structure" for making and maintai...

This is part 3 of a mini-series exploring the continuum of loneliness and belonging. In part 1 , I talked about loneliness, how disturbingly common it is, and how it can wreak havoc in our lives. In part 2 , I went over Self-determination theory and how it might relate to belonging and community. In this episode, I tackle the million-dollar question: "How do we move from loneliness to that true se...

This is part 2 of a mini-series exploring the continuum of loneliness and belonging. In part 1, I shared why psychologists say loneliness is an “awful, noxious psychological state” that—if left unchecked—can wreak havoc in our lives. (What’s more, it is a disturbingly common problem.) In this episode, I want to explore how this need to connect (or belong) drives our behavior and how that can enhan...

Everyone—you, me, your friends, family members, co-workers, neighbors, and even celebrities—gets lonely. It’s a nearly universal experience. It’s also nearly universal to not be super clear on why we feel lonely, how serious that can be, and how to move out of loneliness, especially if we feel ‘stuck’ there because of extenuating circumstances. In this mini-series, I invite you to join me as I exp...

One of the most fundamental questions that can be asked about human behavior is “why”? Why do we do what we do, in the exact time and way we do it? And why do we stop?!? These are typically questions of need and motivation. We all have needs, but what exactly are those needs? Better yet, how should we even begin defining and understanding what a need is? And then, what is it that causes needs to i...

Why do you do the things you do … in the specific ways and manners in which you do them? Why do you like the things you like? Why do certain things always capture your attention while others get ignored? Setting spiritual issues and influences aside (for the moment), the basic answer to these types of questions lies in the arena of personality. Dr. Mels Carbonell, author of “How to Solve the Peopl...

In a podcast that claims to focus on exploring the very best insights of psychology THROUGH the lense of Scripture, it was inevitable that I would eventually want to explore something called the Enneagram. This is part two of the two-part mini-series. In the previous episode, I explored the origins and history of the tool, and reviewed it from a strictly psychological perspective. In this episode,...

In a podcast that claims to focus on exploring the very best insights of psychology THROUGH the lense of Scripture, it was inevitable that I would eventually want to explore something called the Enneagram. This is a two-part mini-series. This first episode looks at the history of the tool and gives a brief overview from a psychological perspective. If you are interested in looking into some of the...

I've had a lot of time to think about this episode. It is a massive departure not only from a typical episode of this podcast, but a massive departure from my personal style. I am very introverted, and thus a very private person. I rarely (if ever) bare my soul in public. But I am making this exception because I feel like it is necessary and important. The basic idea behind this manifesto is simpl...

When you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or down, what do you do—what do you turn to—to feel better? There’s an 80s song by the band Fleetwood Mac that describes what many of us do … probably far too often. As Jim Beviglia says, writing for American Songwriter, the song's narrator “decides to suspend disbelief, reveling in the untruth when the actual truth hurts,” as she sings wistfully, “Tell me li...

When Top Gun: Maverick hit the theaters, it was a MUST see for my wife (who loved the 80s version). And after I saw the extended trailer showing some of what they went through to film actual plane footage, I was definitely intrigued. Now having seen it, I have to say that it was incredible. The air-to-air combat (dog-fights)—both real and training versions—were some of my favorite scenes in both m...

There’s a fairly well-known TV trope—especially in cartoons—that pops up when someone is wrestling with temptation; two miniature versions of the character’s self, an Angel and a Devil, sit on each shoulder and try to pull the character in different directions. Psychologists often say it this way: we have ONE brain with TWO minds, and they rarely (IF EVER!!) agree with one another. That matters, b...

Years ago, Michael Jackson sang, “You Wanna Be Startin’ Something!” I still have no idea what the song itself actually means, but I do know this: Starting something new can be both exhilarating and terrifying. It’s exhilarating because it’s an opportunity to blaze new trails, even if they are only new to you. But it’s also terrifying … and not just because of the “fear of the unknown” factor. You...

In the previous episode of this podcast, I suggested that instead of thinking of regret as a “universal negative emotion,” it could be far more helpful to think of it as a psychological earworm—the brain continuously reminding us that there is an unfinished task or unresolved issue or goal. On this episode, I want to dig a little into the actual scientific research that has been going on since the...

There’s a book out, maybe you’ve read it or at least heard of it. It’s by superstar author Daniel Pink and it’s called the Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward. The ideas in it are interesting and could be helpful for some, but—as is often the case with ideas from the world of psychology—I don’t think it tells the whole story. In fact, I think what it doesn’t include is really th...

My daughter—like her brothers before her—is turning into a great thinker and communicator. At age 16 she earned her first chance to compete in a regional speech and debate tournament. So, being a communications professional myself, I did what professionals sometimes do best: I “borrowed” one of the speeches she developed and used it in this episode. Could I have developed this on my own? Sure … bu...

The opening paragraph from Dickens’ from A Tale of Two Cities reads, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness ….” I’ve never read the book, but I am familiar with the classic rock song it “sort of” inspired. Den...

Generally speaking, the term “framework” means a structure or system of rules, guidelines, and boundaries that are used to govern a process, decision, or specific goal. Businesses use frameworks to help ensure that the products or services they deliver are consistent and aligned with the company mission, vision, and values. I’m what some would call a “frameworks thinker”—someone who is good at bri...