Better After Divorce

You Can't Flirt in a Body You're Not Feelin' You know that half-second delay when you catch your reflection and think — that's not me. Or it is. It's just not the me I expected to see. And somehow you're supposed to go on a date feeling like that. This week we're talking about the body you're actually dating in right now. Not the one you're waiting to get back to. Not the one you had ten years ago...

You're Not on a Date. You're on a Job Interview. It's crazy out here — and you're spending a fortune of energy for almost nothing. But not for the reason you think. This week we're talking about the wasteland. The matches that go nowhere. The Sunday swiping that leaves you lonelier than before. The guy you almost texted yes to — not because you wanted to, but because you had nothing else going on....

You're Not Unlucky. You Keep Telling the Wrong Story. This week we’re talking about the shadow — the place every archetype goes when the pattern wins. And the woman who lives there. Meet Allegra. She’s done the therapy. She’s done the work. She knows her patterns. And she hasn’t had one serious relationship in over a decade. She’s not one of the five archetypes. She’s the shadow that lives inside...

You Feel Everything for Everyone. When Do You Finally Get to Feel Something for Yourself? This week we’re talking about the Empath — the woman who feels everything for everyone. And somewhere along the way forgot to feel anything for herself. She’s deeply attuned. Compassionate. The most emotionally evolved woman in the room. And she is completely disconnected from her own experience inside a rela...

Creating a Test He Can't Win is What's Keeping You Single This week we’re talking about the Valkyrie — the woman who tests every man she meets. And wonders why they all fail. She’s not difficult. She’s not impossible. She’s a woman who respects strength and wants to be met — not rescued. So she tests for it. Deliberately. Consistently. Until she finds the edge of what a man can hold. And every tim...

This week we’re talking about the Seeker — the woman who can see the potential in every man she dates. And keeps forgetting to see herself. She’s not naive. She’s not desperate. She’s smart, self-aware, and genuinely believes that people are evolving. She asks the hard questions. She brings things up. The answers always seem plausible. And still — nothing moves forward. The relationship stays in t...

You Keep the Peace.  But Who Is Keeping You? This week we're talking about the Matriarch — the woman who holds everything together. And wonders why no one is holding her. She's the one people call in a crisis. The emotional anchor in every room she walks into. The woman who reads the temperature, builds the bridge, and keeps the "us" alive — even when she's running on empty. And in her relationshi...

You're Treating Him Like an Employee, Not a Partner This week we're talking about the Lioness — the woman who handles everything. Including the relationship. You're a woman who handles things. Your career, your life, your relationships. And it works — professionally, logistically, functionally. But somewhere in your love life, the skill that built everything is quietly working against you. In this...

You're Not Dating Him. You're Dating Your Pattern. Have you ever found yourself further along in a relationship in your head than you actually were in real life? In this episode, Coach Ivy shares a personal story about dating her imagination instead of reality, introduces the five relationship archetypes, and explains why you keep choosing the same dynamic — even when you know better. Because here...

Men Are Not the Problem — When a Green Light Does Not Feel Like Chemistry Sometimes the issue is not that there are no good men. It is that healthy men can feel easy to overlook when they do not activate the pattern you are used to. In this episode, Coach Ivy unpacks why some women miss green lights in dating — not because they want dysfunction, but because calm, emotionally available connection c...

Men Are Not the Enemy — The Real Problem Is What You Keep Tolerating If you have been disappointed, hurt, or exhausted in dating, it can be easy to make men the problem. But that story only takes you so far. In this episode, Coach Ivy unpacks the deeper truth: the issue is not simply who you meet — it is what you keep overlooking, excusing, minimizing, or tolerating once the pattern begins to reve...

The Small Things You Tolerate Become the Relationship What you excuse in the beginning rarely stays small. In this episode, Coach Ivy unpacks how women quietly tolerate subtle inconsistency, mixed signals, and low-grade confusion in the early stages of dating - especially when the chemistry feels good. Because the pattern rarely begins with one giant red flag. It begins with the small things you e...

Why Smart Women Confuse Chemistry With Compatibility Just because it pulls you in doesn’t mean it fits. In this episode, Coach Ivy unpacks the difference between attraction and alignment - and why so many smart, self-aware women still find themselves drawn to dynamics that are emotionally familiar but not actually good for them. Because chemistry can feel powerful, immediate, and real... and still...

Better After Divorce | Episode 36 Do You Have a Type… Or a Pattern? Most smart women know their type. The potential guy. The unavailable one. The emotionally complicated one. But what many don’t realize is this: Sometimes what we call our type is actually a pattern we haven’t recognized yet. In this episode, Coach Ivy breaks down how to tell the difference between attraction and familiarity, and s...

Many smart, self-aware women find themselves dating completely different men after divorce — only to realize the relationship dynamic feels strangely familiar. In this episode, Coach Ivy explains why this happens and how to recognize dating patterns earlier so you can make different choices. You’ll learn why what feels like chemistry is sometimes familiarity, how relationship dynamics form between...

🎙️ Episode Summary / Show Notes If you’ve been feeling different lately — more discerning, less tolerant, unsure why things don’t fit the way they used to — this episode is for you. After an ending, many women assume something is wrong. But what’s actually happening is identity recalibration. In this episode, Coach Ivy explores why feeling different after an ending — divorce, a long chapter closin...

🎙️ EPISODE SUMMARY This episode isn’t a recap or a resolution. It’s a pause. In The In-Between, Coach Ivy explores the quiet space between survival and momentum — and why you don’t need to rush into the new year to begin again. If you’ve been holding everything together and feel resistant to pressure, this episode offers reassurance, orientation, and permission to move forward differently — from a...

🎙️Why You Feel Stuck After Divorce — And What Your Archetype Reveals About Your Next Chapter In this episode, Coach Ivy unpacks one of the most common — and least talked about — experiences after divorce: feeling stuck. You’ll learn why this happens even to the strongest women, what “post-survival stagnation” really is, and how your Empowerment Archetype explains the patterns, emotions, and blocks...

In this episode, we explore The Empath Archetype — the woman who has spent a lifetime holding emotional worlds together. The intuitive healer, the emotional anchor, the feeler, the fixer, the heart-led nurturer who often forgets her own needs while caring for everyone else. Now, after divorce or reinvention, she’s finally asking: “What does healing look like when it’s my turn?” Inside this powerfu...

🎙️ The Valkyrie Archetype: Courage, Boundaries & Building a Life Beyond Survival This is part of The 5 Empowerment Archetypes series, and today, we’re stepping into The Valkyrie — the warrior of reinvention. She’s the woman who has endured battles, rebuilt herself, and learned to stand tall even when everything around her was falling apart. The Valkyrie teaches us that strength isn’t just about su...

🎙️ The Seeker Archetype: Curiosity, Courage & The Art of Becoming In this episode of The 5 Empowerment Archetypes series, we explore The Seeker — the woman standing at the crossroads between who she was and who she’s becoming. She’s the one who’s done surviving, done performing, and finally ready to rediscover herself — not by returning to the past, but by daring to get curious about what’s next....

🎙️ The Matriarch Archetype: Wisdom, Nurturing & Becoming Your Own Safe Place In this episode of The 5 Empowerment Archetypes series, we explore The Matriarch — the woman whose strength, grace, and grounded wisdom have held families, careers, and communities together. But what happens when it’s her turn to be held? The Matriarch teaches us that true power isn’t just about holding it all together —...

🎙️ The Lioness Archetype: Strength, Power & Rising Differently This is part 2 of The 5 Empowerment Archetypes, we explore the Lioness — the embodiment of strength, power, and fierce devotion. After life’s upheavals, especially divorce, the Lioness teaches us how to rise — not by returning to who we were, but by embracing a new kind of power rooted in wisdom, boundaries, and heart-led leadership. Y...

Take the Quiz here: 👉🏼 ⁠Show Me My Archetype⁠ Screen shot this episode and share your archetype! IG:  ⁠⁠@coachivyallen⁠⁠ FB:  ⁠⁠CoachIvy⁠⁠ RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a...

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