Being there for your kids

One of the realities of life is that what we focus on grows. Focus on the negative and it grows. Focus on the positive and it will grow. In my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, I incorporate positive psychology as one of three major treatment interventions, artfully interwoven, to define mentalligent psychotherapy. "Accentuate the positive. Eliminate...

People often dismiss being mindful as psycho-babble. Just talking stuff to sound cool. And yet, if you are in emotional crisis, being weighed down by past experiences and dreading the future, then learning mindfulness can be a part of your lifesaving healing journey of mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT). In my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, I identi...

We change our minds all the time. Most is, whatever. But, when you start therapy, it's about changing your mind permanently. With mentalligent psychotherapy, your efforts to trade in downward spiraling for upward spiraling is about developing new neural pathways, using your brain's neuroplastic characteristic, to effect positive outcomes that last forever. In my new book, The Healing Journey: Over...

Unless you find yourself in emergency circumstances, sorting out all of your options for beginning therapy is a good idea. To that end, I encourage using my 6-week rule. Check it out.

Every once in a while, something new comes along that is exciting, provides a critically different perspective, and just fills the bill. Such is the case with a new treatment strategy, Mentalligent Psychotherapy (MPT). Among the ABC's of therapy, MPT is the new kid on the block. Following is a brief introduction. Get more by looking into my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on th...

When we face adversity, our "stuff" brings us down and we can get stuck. Some people actually say their life feels "like I'm spiralng out of control. Getting through our adversity and stress involves changing direction, from downward spiraling to upward spiraling. Mentalligent psychotherapy is a means for changing your life direction and soaring, that is, finding ways to manage your stress and mai...

Much of counseling and psychotherapy feels like same ol' same ol'. In my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, I offer a paradigm shift on how we can engage in effective therapy. Whether you are looking to start therapy yourself, you are learning how to do therapy, or you want to add to your toolbox as a seasoned therapist, check out this podcast. It mig...

If you seem to be stuck in unhelpful same ol' same ol', they it might be time to consider starting psychotherapy. Therapy is a great way to embrace new beginnings and find healing. Mentalligent psychotherapy is a treatment strategy used to help you find your healing journey. I have a new book out that helps you get started. Check out this article.

We all define our success in different ways. How we define it impacts how we raise our children. Success comes in moments of time, not only is reaching your goals or accomplishments. Use your relationship with your children to help ground them in the foundation for successful living, and then be their with them in their struggles to model how a successful lifestyle empowers them.

When the worst thing happens with your child, do you doubt if you are passing or failing in your parenting? The key choices you make in the moment define your success or failure at the most important job we all have in life, the legacy we give our kids.

Long car trips can be a bore for everybody, but especially for kids. Are we there yet? is a common refrain that can lead to turmoil if not addressed. When IPads and cell phones are not available, consider filling the time with family car games.

We are more than related individuals living together. We are a family. But what contributes to our identity as a family? One element are the family rituals we keep. Check out this podcast and consider how your family rituals bind you together.

All kids love to blow and play with bubbles. Popping them in flight is such fun. Lifestyle bubbles, however, not so much. Here I share my thoughts about how we can help our children expand their experiences by avoiding lifestyle bubbles.

Did you know? Your child's sibling place in your family matters. First-borns, middle children, and youngest child all have certain personality traits in part because of their position in the family. In this piece, I underscore those traits according to birth order and encourage parenting patterns for each child that takes their birth order into consideration. Hope this is helpful. Blessings, Jon

Teens often seem to be in their own world. But, do they really want to be? Their universal goal is to form their own, individual identity, which will carry over for their lifetime. Sadly, that goal can be at great expense to others in their world. Coming to terms with your teen means accepting where they are at any given moment, being there for them, and helping them navigate those troubled waters...

What kind of parent are you? Are you the good guy? the bad guy? the strict disciplinarian? the lax one? All kinds of parenting. Hopefully you are a bit of each of these. If so, add to your list, the cuddler. Cuddling is essential to relationship-building and to character-building for your child. Make time to cuddle each of your kids regularly.

Parenting often seems limited to stern lectures, supervising chores, helping with homework. While these things may represent the hard work of parenting, it's important to meaningfully plan playful time with them. The concept of playful parenting provides the foundation for your children listening to you, accepting your direction and leadership, and being a part of the family. Here are my thoughts...

Legacies come in many forms. They could be the family business, a piece of property, some passed-down item from family antiquity. If we are looking at qualities, rather than stuff, helping your kids learn and use being resilient in life is a great legacy. Resilience is making the best out of a bad situation. It's dealing with stuff in a positive, redeeming way. It's learning to draw the blessing o...

Next to life, death, and marriage, residential moving can be waaay up there as stressful. Following is an article my colleague, Cheryl Conklin at cheryl@wellnesscentral.info.  Having moved 8 times in my life, I share your pain. Hopefully, these eight tips can smoothe the transition for you. Blessings, Jon

How does your family handle the loss of a loved one. It's going to happen. How does it affect you and your children? In this podcast I ask the question, "Is Dying Painful?" I then outline the stages of grieving and things you and your family can do to cope with the loss, experience the grieving, and continue moving on.

In today's busy, non-stop, electronic world, how much time do you think you actually have with your kids and as a family? Thinking about and applying the categories of quality family time will promote family gathering and interacting, despite all the obstacles that could get in the way. Here are some thoughts.

Kids are all over the place. Keeping up with them is a hassle. Teaching and molding them is an even greater task. Here I offer two keys to "training them up in the ways of the Lord, so that, when they grow old, they will not depart from him." (Proverbs 22:6). Active Listening is the royal road to healthy relationship with your kids. Knowing the Four Stages of Parenting helps you stay in sync with...

Every family has at least one character. You know, the one who draws attention in funny, silly ways, the jokester. Having a character in your family, however, is different from helping your kids build character. In this podcast, I list several ways for parents to help their kids build character.

The only 3 universal events all of experience are death, taxes, and change. Change happens. It's how we handle it that matters. The tone you set for your kids will greatly impact how they handle change in their lives. Here I offer 2 rules of change. Get these rules in your head and you can set the tone for how well your kids handle inevitable change.

You don't have to, but you want to. Nobody told you to. You came up with it all by yourself. This is the origin of being kind. Isn't is strange that we may give up our seat on public transit for an elderly or handicapped person, but we're not typically kind to those we love? Check out these comments to find three encouragements for becoming kinder in your family.