Behind the SchƎmƎs

Ol' Venus Nun Mask Pot or Taxes Cult Business Rake in Hallow's Eve with a post-NA Mischief Night Special! You are cordially invited to the elite Hellfire Club, where respected men get disrespectful behind closed doors. It costs Zero Grand! We ride a spooky intermission to the remote depths of Mexico, where the Goddess demands a sacrifice. They worship the dead all over the world! Casper, Brought T...

Sourced? Stunning Parallels River Tender Preferably Not Alive Put on your blood boots! Tonight we enter the Golden Coffin, and search the Old American Archives for lead-cased queens and gilded pharaohs. The new BitchCoin. After a bloody good intermission, we are led by the Moth to the Chattahoochee River, where drug lords dump headless goats into the water by the truckload. #compostyoursacrifice B...

Fus Roh Dah! Blah Blah Blah! People Don't Use Minidisc Girthworm Jim Solo Show! Lavish steers the ship to Russia, where Madame Blavatsky teaches plebs all about her fake experiences. Great artists steal, even if they were rejected from Austrain Art College. What a Great War! The Subconcious sings to you. Next we sail to Babylon, where we ponder the clay, worship the Goddess, follow the Eastern Sta...

Jazz-Bury CO Brown Stain International Harvester My Name is Bauxite Check your water supply, Vermont! Lavish runs off to a time before fluoridation, when industrial titans walked the earth. The Dow used to manufacture, but nowadays markets are inflatable tanks. After Danzig poetry, the Mothman flies to Southeast Asia, where the Huk engage in astrological warfare against American Aswang. Have you r...

Nobody Should Perform This Ceremony Never Has Bread Been More Satany I Live With Satin Name Three Episodes But Feather, Boo-bury takes off like a Led Zeppelin, illuminating the origins of Jimmy Page's symbols and Crowley obsession. After a spacey intermission from Lavish, we discuss Coolio and his Gangsta's Paradise Lost. We're gonna have to do some math on this one, do you have stage fright? Ask...

Oh Uncle Father That's A Lotta Corn noHearts Ragman We see the Goods, we read your boosts. Lavish surveys the corn fields of America, and wonders who spreads the seed. After the folks enjoy intermission, Boo-Bury takes a Soulful Journey to Dimension 99, where Soulaire sells wings and Hope. Alert the Affiliates! What Is A Moth But A Miserable Pile of Secrets? BYO3-DG ZOSO'S CORNER (Show Notes) If y...

Tight Binding Substacked Booth Babes Big Fan Of Ham Buckle up! Lavish hits the road and visits the Minneocalypse, where Boo-Bury knows all the best karaoke dives. We take your live calls… maybe you're having a spooky day at work? Lavish brings some bereft coast with him from North Hollywood, the bank robbery capital of the world. What's In A Name? Boo-Bury divulges into Nature in Bondage an...

Cheshire Cat Styled Grin This Is Not The Math Episode The Them And The Theys World War Yawn The Greenroom glows with the arrival of LiteBrite! Get your brushes ready as we paint the undark away. Wow! It really pops on these clothes! Keep an ear out for the rattle, the dew of death hangs thick. Grab your arms, it's time to race! Now stand up, wipe the lung off your lips, and let's get em! She Took...

Metascream PISS Red Word Is Shadow's Cast It's a major dump tonight of 'member way back when? You'll get hosed down in glow dust! Everything is gonna turn red! It'll be safer in 7 to 11 years, don't worry about it. It's what's necessary. Come take a plunge in the underground pool if you're rich enough. There's round the clock guards, as long as we can keep them paid. Wanna watch a movie? There's t...

White Picket Productions Suck The Egg It Ain't Old Showing Up Grab your cameras, we're hittin' the big time! We do stunts! We do drugs! We do auditions! We do hotels! We got hacksaws! You're so much better than that person, you're gonna be a star! I Broke The Circle BYO3-DG ZOSO'S CORNER (Show Notes) If you like what you heard here, check out our revue show! ms. informed NAtion Follow us on Social...

Mad Goat Disease Dive Shallow Locked in The Boiler Room Oh, Unicorns!? It's a Sondaze Special edition of BTS! The code is cracked, and the outrage is REAL! Dangerous haxxors plague the Spooderman, and if you want new panties? Might we suggest you swing by you local Prison Co-Op. It's big business! Second 2nd takes us back maaaaan, way back to Woodstock 69, and the carbon lights the way. The candle...

Crack Hotel Ice Cold Cthulhu-sized Bad Day Sweet Embrace of the Other Side Enjoying the sturgeon moon? Boo-Bury steps into the arena at AEW's Quake by the Lake, and finds himself awakened. The next day, he is carted to the Roof Garden Ballroom, where back-braced roadies find themselves stuck in the mud. After a presidential intermission, Lavish takes us to faraway Afghanistan where they say Giants...

Black Pyramid Black D20 Black Monday Dark Money Philanthropy Tonight lavish does a dive into BlackRock's powerful and little-known founder, Larry “The Fink” Fink. After scream-mails and music, Boo-bury has Sam Tripoli explain why our leaders were making deals with aliens in Antarctica after WW2. Finally, we ponder MaryKateUltra's astronomical question: Do we actually live in the Age of...

Constructed Of You Mercury Dime Glass Lysergic Acid Wash Typical End Of Dayz Explode into a lower atmosphere with Bill Gates as we commemorate ashes in chemtrails. Wave your wands, learn the woods, and gather...uhhh..."materials" for the homunculus per Man Myth's instructions. Be sure to have a shot prepped for Second Second of Half of Show! Muh Tinsel! BYO3-DG ZOSO'S CORNER (Show Notes) If you li...

Captain's Sex Log Points to Polaris Got The Morbs? Be A Part of the Slaughter From One Center Stone to another, peek Polaris through the rock. Whelp! Cursing will take you from a Building of Books to Satan's Arena, Cacafuego. This Is BTS. They're no Sid Vicious. That's How Dead You've Made Me Inside. Don't be Anti-Zombie, bro. BYO3-DG ZOSO'S CORNER (Show Notes) If you like what you heard here, che...

Join Lavish as he guides you thru a retrospective journey for the evening thru highlights from the Behind The Sch3m3s Intermissions. Fix yourself a drink, find a comfy spot to kick back in the Green Room, and take a load of deep R&R. BYO3-DG ZOSO'S CORNER (Show Notes) If you like what you heard here, check out our revue show! ms. informed NAtion Follow us on Social Sesame at FeedBag (Facebook)...

It's A Forever Thing The Spook Conference It's A Learned Thing The Copper King Of Russia Midnight Mike from Our Big Dumb Mouth joins this edition of BTS. From the Game of Coops, playing in bands, to women's basketball it's all happening! The Freaks of Hazard also have a lot of fun getting Alex Jones and Jim Jones to talk to each other on the show. Don't Make Light Of Anything BYO3-DG http://ourbig...

The Path Must Be Violence Put The Claw In The Palm Of My Hand Damn, Somebody Turn On The Lights! Waiting For The Good Part Tonight...you will witness an end to Behind The Sch3m3s! TECHNO DESTRUCTO, SCUMDOG OF THE UNIVERSE, is here to remove by force what little brains we have left! It's awesome! Be there! Be There! Be There! Card Subject To Change. BYO3-DG ZOSO'S CORNER (Show Notes) If you like wh...

Calling U Last Tuesday Please, No I Basil Valetine The Apollo For this evening, you are cordially invited to join the Mothman as we drink fine wine and study the lead! With the gold transformation, you'll see a wonderous display of protection! If that lube runs out, just toss it here in this wastebasket. That'll be a 10% tithe. Totally present for that! They Did It To Humiliate Me! BYO3-DG ZOSO'S...

Bless Your Spine Love For Hire This? Impassable Desire For Desire Whoop Whoop, get behind these sch3m3s, and join our church! Not a cult! That House of Prayer tho, totally a cult. Praise be the Jezebel Spirit! You can hang the robes here with this hanger, and there's even a spot you can stash your peg leg if need be! Go us! BYO3-DG ZOSO'S CORNER (Show Notes) If you like what you heard here, check...

More Interesting Than Getting Laid Thiccchain Murder Murder Murder Ding Dong and Shanghai It's a real live wet one with goat blood flying everywhere tonight! You haven't even seen me at my full anointed self-righteousness! LMOA! There's a new horrible mix tape we drop with "Beats To Goat By"! Is it Ukraine money in Ohio, or Ohio money in Ukraine. Last call for catfishing. Press G To Spit. BYO3-DG...

Goat Local 88 Pharma Party Overstand It? Gloryville The "If They Tried To Black Bag Me" Special, all because of my First Porn Boost. You're glowing, she's glowing, we all glow down here. Speaking of down, everything's down! Not a joke! We're being sincere! You have to Creem to believe it! Also, the A.I. is very...very aware of it all. That is very spooky. No, yellow. BYO3-DG ZOSO'S CORNER (Show No...

All Scissors The Law of Identity RSSS Potsickle Dave Jones from Podcasting 2.0 joins the Green Room! It's a conversation that touches it all, from the Evil Index to Federated Networks! Wanna know who shreds? Tune in to find an answer more magickal than you'd expect… You Thought of Aboutness? BYO3-DG ZOSO'S CORNER (Show Notes)

Bring Your Own Hose! Hail the Sun! Build-A-Borg! For our 100th episode, we make sure everyone has Goats for the Road. Gematria Boosts, Tarp-less Sacrifices, none of it approved by GOSHA. Despite the rain of Blood Soakers, Boo-Bury breaks down GWAR's latest album, The New Dark Ages. We take live calls and ask them what supernatural topic they wish to Rectalfy. Dude, Don't Do That. Instead, follow L...

Help Jack Up Mommy, What's Thermite? Galcit 53 Groovy Girls It's a special edition of BTS with special guest, the good Reverend Doctor Phifer! He takes us on a journey thru the saga of one the most mystical men of the 20th century, none other than Jack Parsons! Expect big explosions, and even bigger ritualistic sex orgies. The man learned from Crowley for crying out loud, it's not rocket science....