Behind the Curtain: Honest Conversations about Foster Care and Adoption

What if survival isn’t the goal—or even the best question? Rebecca opens the door to a different pursuit: building a sustainable home life in foster care and adoption by asking how to thrive when nothing else changes. Through a raw, unedited monologue, she traces the arc from a stacked season of yeses, a hospital-heavy year, and the first real brush with caregiver burnout to a set of clear, livabl...

A lot of adoptive and foster parents are handed an impossible goal: your family should look seamless, your child should feel “forever” the moment adoption is finalized, and your bond should eventually feel just like biology. When that does not happen, it can leave you spiraling between overcontrol and despair. Rebecca Harvin sits down with Stacy Cales, LCSW, a former foster parent, adoptive mom, a...

Fostering can sound like a noble idea until it’s your front door, your kids, your routines, and your fear of what you can’t control. That’s why this conversation matters. We’re joined by Corey McKinney, a foster dad, author, and longtime mentor, to talk honestly about the “silent” part of the foster care community: dads who want to protect their families but also feel the pull to help kids who hav...

Foster care can be beautiful and it can be brutal, and the people who often get overlooked are the biological kids already living in the home. We wanted to change that, so we sat down with Talia Ray Farrow, a bio, foster, and adoptive sister to more than 65 kids, to talk honestly about what it is like to grow up in a foster and adoptive family that is always expanding, shifting, and saying goodbye...

Your kid is melting down, you are touched out, and the last thing you feel is “connected” yet the relationship is still the path forward. Rebecca Harvin sits down with Angela Coston, founder of For the Sake of One and a TBRI practitioner, to talk about what connection looks like when parenting kids from hard places meets real-life stress, school breaks, IEP meetings, and the long grind of behavior...

The hardest part of foster care is not what most people expect. It’s the moment you realize you can’t control the outcome, you can’t fix what’s broken, and you’re still called to stay. Rebecca Harvin sits down with Jason Johnson from the Christian Alliance for Orphans to talk about foster care and adoption as a long game, where “success” isn’t measured by perfect progress but by faithful presence...

A child shouldn’t have to fall asleep in a cubicle while adults debate where she’ll go next. That image stuck, and it’s the spark behind this conversation with Jennifer Tice, co-founder and executive director of Lily Pad, a South Carolina faith-based nonprofit creating trauma-informed spaces for children and vulnerable people in crisis. We get honest about what foster care and adoption actually fe...

Some families look fine on Sunday and feel like they’re falling apart by Monday morning. That gap, the public calm and the private chaos, is where a lot of foster and adoptive parents live when trauma hits hard. We sit down with Ashley Mason, founder of Encourage One Another, to talk honestly about what “crisis” can really mean: unsafe behaviors, constant hypervigilance, the painful decision to pu...

Trauma leaves clues, and foster and adoptive parents are often the first people to see them clearly. When a child “forgets” what they knew yesterday, melts down at puberty, hoards food under the bed, or shuts down into a blank stare, it can feel personal, defiant, and impossible to untangle. We wanted a map that respects what caregivers live with and explains what’s happening inside the child, not...

The foster care system asks teenagers to carry adult-sized problems, then expects them to be “ready” on a birthday. That disconnect is where today’s conversation lives, and it’s why I’m so grateful to share the mic with Aubrie Simpson-Gotham, founder and CEO of Fostering Connections in Jacksonville, Florida. She’s building practical support for youth impacted by foster care and adoption, and she’s...

TPR is supposed to bring clarity, but for a lot of foster and adoptive families it brings a new kind of fog. We’re talking about the space nobody captions on social media: mourning and celebrating at the same time, sitting in a courtroom while a parent loses rights, and walking out knowing a child’s story just changed forever. Stacy Lasonde joins me for an honest, tender conversation about what it...

What if the life you built at the “resort”—easy routines, familiar friends, and tidy plans—suddenly moved you to a private island? That’s how Cayela Moody describes the shift foster care and special needs adoption brought to her family of ten. Together we trace her path from an autism diagnosis that shattered assumptions to a calling that turned hard-won advocacy into a lifeline for kids others of...

Grief doesn’t wait for tidy timelines or perfect words. With our friend and adoptive mom Jordan Whitmarsh, we step straight into the deep end: living losses in foster care and adoption, the sudden shock of death, and the quieter goodbyes that linger with no clean ending. We get honest about the myth of “five stages,” why sorrow circles back, and what it takes to build a life that can hold both ach...

We reflect on the move from drowning in caregiver burnout to building a sustainable life in foster care and adoption. We share three pillars—community, recognizing the load you're carrying, and setting the right pace for your family (prioritize rest!) —and a bonus practice for managing our emotional field. • naming unsustainable patterns at home and work • defining sustainability independent...

What happens when one child feels like home at the door and another, from the same sibling set, feels impossible to love? We open our front door and our hearts to a brutally honest journey through foster care: the instant bond that made love feel effortless, the second placement that brought our family to a breaking point, and the teen whose silence turned a celebration dinner into a night of cold...

A single keepsake cracked open a lifetime of hidden feeling. When Simon Ben learned that his childhood teddy bear came from his birth mother, a wave of grief and anger surfaced—and so did a clear path to freedom. We sit down with Simon to explore what thriving really means for adoptees and anyone healing from old narratives: being grateful in the highs, graceful in the lows, and far less bothered...

Some crises should never cost a child their family. When a single mom in a new city was admitted for kidney stones with no one to call, the default answer was removal. Instead, a host family took her daughters for one night—and that brief stay opened the door to lasting friendships, school support, and a church community that refused to let isolation write the ending. That’s the power of upstream...

What happens when grit becomes a trap and control masquerades as love? I open the curtain on nine years of foster care and adoption, from my early "This is a sprint" mindset to the slower "marathon" pace of adoption. The story moves through the highs of first placements, the heartbreak of an international adoption falling apart, and the relentless push to “fix” what was never m...

We open the door on incontinence in foster and adoptive homes and talk plainly about shame, trauma, and the mental load. Peter Mutabazi, founder of Now I am Known, shares the daily realities of children with incontinence issues and advocacy wins. Mica Phillips, Vice President of Aeuroflow Urology, explains how to qualify for medical-grade supplies through Medicaid and why it restores dignity. • wh...

If you're a foster parent or adoptive parent who wants to build a life that you recognize at 80. Or, if resolutions leave you burned out by February, you’re not broken—you’re using the wrong tool. Rebecca opens the door to a gentler, smarter approach to change: a clear year-end review, a vision board that serves as a compass, and one tiny 1% shift that you can actually do every day. No overha...

In part two of two, we explore authoritative parenting as a blend of warmth and structure that forms character for the long game. Faith and research meet in practical steps that build trust, align kids with reality, and make the teen years a joy rather than a warning. • greeting rituals that prioritize presence over logistics • using fewer words to lower defensiveness and increase responsiveness •...

In part one of two, we explore kind, authoritative parenting for foster and adoptive families, weaving research, faith, and real-life practice into a clear path that balances warmth with firm guidance. Rachel Medefind shares how discipline means training for growth, not punishment, and why community and mindset shape outcomes. • what authoritative parenting is and is not • warmth plus discipline a...

In this episode, we explore foster parenting advice and adoption resources through the story of a neighbor's crisis that led to adopting two teens. Mary shares her transition from a career police officer's mindset to trauma-informed parenting, revealing the challenges and rewards of becoming an adoptive family. Listen to how they moved from emergency foster care to adoption, emphasizing...

In this episode of 'Behind the Curtain: Honest Conversations about Foster Care and Adoption,' we explore essential soul care for foster and adoptive caregivers experiencing burnout. We share honest stories of exhaustion, striving, and the simple spiritual practices that help restore strength, encourage rest, and sustain leadership from a full cup. Michael Mitchell guides listeners throug...

Two friends pull back the curtain on what a Guardian ad Litem does, why the role matters, and how one steady volunteer can change a child’s case. Andrea shares training, time commitment, school advocacy wins, and the power of speaking for the child alone. • what a guardian ad litem or CASA is and does • training, background checks, and virtual court workflow • time commitment of 12 to 15 hours per...