Behavior Gap Radio

In this special anniversary episode, Carl reflects on 31 years of marriage and the quiet power of compounding kindness. Looking back over more than 11,000 days together, he celebrates not perfection, but the daily practice of forgiveness, patience, and choosing kindness again and again. It’s a heartfelt reminder that the most meaningful investments aren’t passive—they’re made one small act at a ti...

In this episode, Carl explores one of the most honest questions we can ask ourselves: What if I don’t know what I want? Building on the idea of choosing a meaningful project as a tool for transformation, he reflects on why discovering what truly matters is so difficult in a world shaped by borrowed desires and cultural expectations. Rather than searching for a perfect answer, Carl suggests gently...

In this episode, Carl invites you to slow down and simply notice what surfaced after yesterday’s reflection on choosing a meaningful project. Whether it was excitement, frustration, shame, curiosity, or nothing at all, he encourages you to resist the urge to fix it or act on it immediately. Instead, treat it as information. With gentle curiosity, Carl explores the practice of paying attention to y...

In this episode, Carl explores the question at the heart of both meaningful living and real financial planning: What’s worth living for? He reflects on how most of us have been trained to ask practical questions like, “What can I afford?” instead of deeper ones like, “What makes me come alive?” Rather than waiting for perfect clarity, Carl suggests choosing a meaningful project—not because the pro...

In this episode, Carl reflects on a simple question inspired by a conversation with Dan Sullivan: What if your future was bigger than your past? As many people begin shrinking their lives with age, Carl wonders what it would look like to keep growing instead—not by doing more, but by taking on meaningful projects that continue to transform us. It’s a thoughtful meditation on adventure, rest, purpo...

In this episode, Carl shares a powerful lesson from a conversation with leadership expert Jennifer Garvey Berger about the importance of questioning our assumptions. What sounds like a simple client goal—“I just want a stable future”—turns out to contain layers of meaning that we can easily overlook if we assume we already understand. Carl reflects on the discipline of deep curiosity, the art of a...

In this episode, Carl reflects on how quickly we build stories from incomplete information—and how often those stories turn out to be wrong. Through personal experiences involving family, clients, and everyday conversations, he explores the assumptions we make, the certainty we attach to them, and the humility required to question our own narratives. It’s a thoughtful reminder that there are alway...

In this episode, Carl reflects on one simple but surprisingly powerful question from a recent retreat: What’s one thing you’ve changed your mind about? As stories unfold around the table, he explores the remarkable human capacity to revise long-held beliefs, let go of old stories, and see the world differently. Through a personal example of discovering he’d misunderstood part of his wife’s relatio...

In this episode, Carl reflects on the idea of obsession—not as something unhealthy, but as the kind of deep fascination that brings a person fully alive. Drawing on wisdom from Howard Thurman and a Zen teaching about living “as though a fire were raging in your hair,” he explores what it means to rediscover the interests, questions, and pursuits that quietly call to us. It’s an invitation to notic...

In this episode, Carl explores a simple but transformative idea: The most meaningful goals aren’t really about achieving an outcome—they’re about becoming a different kind of person. Using examples from running, graduate school, and personal growth, he reflects on how goals can serve as forcing functions that shape our identity rather than just our accomplishments. It’s a thoughtful invitation to...

In this episode, Carl shares a lesson he’s learning while riding an adventure motorcycle: Look where you want to go. Whether on a motorcycle, skis, a mountain bike, or in life, focusing on the obstacle often pulls you toward it, while looking beyond it helps you move through it. Carl reflects on attention, presence, and the surprising way our brains can navigate challenges when we keep our eyes on...

In this episode, Carl continues his “feelings are data” series by exploring a growing body of research suggesting that the body often knows things before the conscious mind does. From studies of traders who could better sense their own heartbeats to research showing that emotions consistently show up in specific parts of the body across cultures, Carl makes the case that physical sensations may be...

In this episode, Carl reflects on the quiet, often unspeakable feeling that points us toward the work we’re meant to do. He explores how years of expectations, practicality, and well-meaning advice can cause us to lose touch with the things that once made us come alive. Through stories, questions, and the metaphor of “dancing with dragons,” Carl invites listeners to pay attention to the small embe...

In this episode, Carl continues his exploration of the idea that feelings are data through a conversation with a friend who approaches decisions very differently—through analysis, spreadsheets, and deep research. What surprised Carl was discovering that even the most analytical decision-makers often pay attention to feelings when something seems “off.” The conversation leads to a simple but powerf...

In this episode, Carl examines a surprising emotional reaction he had while hearing about an extravagant luxury home—and what that reaction might be trying to tell him. Instead of dismissing the feeling or judging it, he gets curious about it, using it as another example of his growing belief that feelings are data. It’s a candid exploration of envy, anger, values, and the stories we tell ourselve...

In this episode, Carl continues his exploration of the idea that feelings are data with a bold claim: When it comes to risk, feelings aren’t incidental—they’re central. Too often, emotions are treated as noise that gets in the way of good decision-making. Carl argues the opposite. When we’re facing uncertainty, fear, excitement, hesitation, and intuition may contain critical information about what...

In this episode, Carl explores a paradox he’s noticed in some of the most important decisions of his life: While he loves receiving strong, opinionated advice, the people who have helped him most often didn’t tell him what to do at all. Instead, they created the space for him to discover his own answer. Reflecting on decision-making, wisdom, and even spiritual maturity, Carl considers the differen...

In this episode, Carl reflects on a powerful idea from E. F. Schumacher and the subtle stories we tell ourselves about consumption. Drawing on Schumacher’s concept of “Buddhist economics,” he explores how modern culture has gradually transformed consumption from a means to an end—from a tool that serves a meaningful life into a goal in itself. It’s a thoughtful invitation to reconsider what consum...

In this episode, Carl returns to his exploration of the idea that feelings are data, taking a closer look at a belief he’s carried for years: The body often knows something before the mind can explain it. As he digs into the research behind that intuition, he reflects on the subtle signals we experience physically and what they might reveal about decisions, relationships, and the choices we make a...

In this episode, Carl explores the surprising information hidden inside resistance. Inspired by a conversation at a recent retreat, he reflects on the difference between asking, “What am I going to do next?” and asking, “What am I resisting?” Instead of treating resistance as something to overcome, Carl wonders whether it might be a valuable signal—pointing toward something important, unresolved,...

In this episode, Carl continues his exploration of the idea that feelings are data by introducing the concept of “affect as information.” Drawing from established research, he examines how we constantly use our emotions as a source of information when making decisions—often without realizing it. Rather than treating feelings as something separate from rational thinking, Carl explores how they may...

In this episode, Carl lays out the first claim in a growing body of work he’s developing around a simple but provocative idea: Feelings are data. Not just emotions to be managed or ignored, but early-stage information that often arrives before words, analysis, or conscious thought. Carl explores how feelings can signal what matters, what feels safe or threatening, and where our values are being ho...

In this episode, Carl begins a deeper exploration of a simple but often overlooked idea: Feelings are data. Challenging the common assumption that emotions are somehow less valuable than spreadsheets, analysis, or technical expertise, he starts building a case that our feelings deserve a legitimate place in decision-making. Drawing from research, experience, and years of conversations around money...

In this episode, Carl explores a provocative idea: What if financial planning is less about thinking and knowing, and more about feeling? Drawing on conversations from retreats and The Collective, he reflects on the possibility that our bodies often recognize truth before our minds can explain it. Whether it’s fear, excitement, resistance, or alignment, Carl argues that paying attention to what we...