Been There Got Out Podcast

If you've been living in a high-conflict divorce or custody battle, you probably know that feeling all too well — the exhaustion that never quite leaves, the hypervigilance, the sense that your nervous system has forgotten how to relax. And for many people in these situations, a glass of wine at the end of the day has quietly become two, or three, or something stronger. Not because of weaknes...

You know that feeling. Your phone buzzes. You see their name. And before you can even read the message, your heart is racing, your chest tightens, and you can barely think straight. You're not overreacting. You're not weak. Your brain has been literally wired by trauma to respond to that notification as if your life is in danger — because for a long time, it was. In this episode, Lisa si...

If you’ve been told that mediation is impossible when you’re dealing with a high-conflict ex—or that it’s never safe when there’s been domestic violence—this conversation with New York family law attorney Ian Steinberg is going to challenge that assumption. Ian is a matrimonial attorney with Burkman Botker Newman & Shane, a 25-attorney firm based in Manhattan with offices in Westchester and Lo...

If you've ever found yourself paralyzed by the fear that your ex is slowly turning your children against you and there's nothing you can do about it, this conversation is for you. In this episode of Been There Got Out, Lisa Johnson sits down with Dr. Alicia del Prado, a licensed counseling psychologist based in the San Francisco Bay Area, to talk about one of the most painful experiences...

If you've been ordered into parenting coordination, or you're wondering whether a parenting coordinator could help your high-conflict custody case, this conversation is for you. Lisa sits down with Nicole Sodoma, a family law attorney with 26 years of experience, founding partner of Sodoma Law (seven locations across the Carolinas), and a practicing parenting coordinator since 2005. What...

What does a Guardian Ad Litem really think when a 10-year-old says they want 50/50 custody? Crystal Wright has heard it hundreds of times — and she can tell instantly when a child has been coached. As a family law attorney AND a working GAL in Atlanta, Georgia, Crystal is one of the rare practitioners who has seen the custody system from every angle: as the attorney fighting for clients, as the ne...

He hadn't heard from one of his four daughters in four years. Then she reached out. And the first thing she said changed everything. Jon McKenzie, founder of @malevictimsoffemalenarcissists (IG) and a returning BTGO guest, joins Lisa to share something that happened just two weeks before this recording: his adult daughter reached out after four years of complete silence, asked to rebuild thei...

Facing a negotiation with your high-conflict ex can feel like showing up to a battle already defeated — especially when they have more money, more confidence, or a better attorney. But corporate negotiation expert Lynn Price says the power imbalance you're feeling may be less real than you think. What IS real is whether you make the ask. Lynn spent 25 years as in-house corporate counsel and c...

What does a family court judge actually think when you walk through those courtroom doors? If you have ever walked out of a hearing asking "why did the judge do THAT?" — this conversation is for you. Peggy Walsh spent 18 years as a family court judge — after first building her career representing parents, caregivers, and children as a family law attorney. Then she took off her robe. Not...

🔁 Dr. Premela Deck is back — and this time, she's going deeper. If you're navigating reunification therapy, supervised visitation, or simply trying to understand why court-ordered therapy isn't fixing anything, this is the conversation you've been waiting for. Dr. Premela Deck holds a rare trifecta of credentials: she's a family law attorney, a Licensed Independent Clinic...

If you have a court date coming up, a difficult phone call with your ex on the calendar, or you're just sick and tired of going blank exactly when you need to be sharp, this conversation is for you. Lisa sits down with Annie Brook, a body-centered somatic psychologist who has trained therapists for decades and spent time in courtrooms testifying for children. Annie brings something genuinely...

Finding the right therapist for your child during a high-conflict divorce is one of the most important and misunderstood decisions you'll make. Most parents want immediate results. They want their child to sit down in session one and start processing everything that's been happening at home. But experienced art therapist Ahimsa Luciano has seen this expectation backfire again and again,...

If your child just told you something terrible — or if you're afraid they're trying to — this conversation is for you. Lisa sits down with Julia Hochstadt, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in trauma, childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, and domestic violence. Julia works with adolescents (15+) and adults, including many parents navigating high-conflict custody situations...

If you've ever sat in a courtroom waiting for a judge to address what your ex is doing... and walked out with nothing... AGAIN, you already know this truth in your bones: justice delayed is justice denied. Criminal defense attorney, legal analyst, and law professor James Porfido has spent more than 35 years watching the American legal system from every angle: as a prosecutor in the Morris Cou...

You pick your child up from their other parent's, and within minutes, the screaming starts. Maybe they're throwing things. Maybe they're kicking you. Maybe they're saying things you never imagined hearing from your own kid's mouth - things that sound frighteningly like your ex. You're doing everything you can think of. Talking. Reasoning. Setting consequences. Nothing...

🎯 "I don't know what to expect — and that terrifies me." If that's where you are right now, this conversation was made for you. Dr. Benjamin Garber is a New Hampshire-licensed psychologist, former therapist of 30 years, custody evaluator, and legal consultant who has spent two years building one of the most practical resources available to family court litigants: DiffuseDivorc...

If seeing your ex, even from across a parking lot, sends your body into overdrive, you're not overreacting. You're experiencing a trauma response. And it has a name. In this episode, Lisa sits down with Dr. Andrea DePetris, a clinical psychologist at Yale School of Medicine and private practice therapist, for a conversation that will genuinely change how you understand yourself in these...

If your ex keeps dragging you back to court - filing motion after motion just to control, harass, and drain you, you already know how the legal system can become the abuser's most powerful weapon. What you might not know is that California is on the verge of changing that. In this episode, Lisa sits down with Monique, one of BTGO's own success stories. After years of navigating the famil...

What if the moment your child starts pulling away isn't a sign of failure, but the beginning of a chapter you can still write? Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst has spent 50 years as a psychologist inside divorce cases, family courts, and the offices of struggling parents. What she's learned might change the way you see everything. In this powerful conversation, Lisa sits down with Dr. Vanderhorst...

What CPS Is Actually Looking For When They Knock on Your Door When Child Protective Services shows up during a high-conflict divorce or custody battle, the fear can be overwhelming. You might be terrified of losing your children, furious at your ex for weaponizing the system, and completely in the dark about what happens next. In this episode, Lisa sits down with Sara Vandenberg, a trauma psychoth...

Have you ever looked back at your relationship with your ex and wondered: how did I get here? Why did I choose someone who would eventually turn the courts, the kids, maybe even your own family against you? Why did this feel so normal... at first?   The answer might be encoded in your DNA.   In this conversation, Lisa sits down with Dr. Sylvia Kalachinsky — a PhD family therapist with 21 years of...

Your child cried at your house about how much they hate going to their other parent's home. Then you found out they had a great time. Or they came home from your ex's house perfectly happy, when you expected them to be upset. Or they told you one thing — and told your ex something completely different.   It can feel like a betrayal. Or proof that something is wrong at the other house. Or...

When Kasia Bukowska's horses refused to cooperate, she thought she was failing. What she discovered instead changed everything she understood about trauma, healing, and why we stay stuck.  Kasia is a Polish equine-assisted therapist, equestrian coach, and artist who has spent years learning how to use horses as healing partners for clients working through deep emotional pain - including survi...

No one believes you.    You've said it in every room. To every professional. To the judge, the GAL, the CPS worker. You didn't do this. The allegations are false. And yet — somehow — your children are not with you.    There's a tool that most people in your situation have never heard of. It's not new. It's not experimental. It's legally recognized, it produces a certi...

You know you shouldn't react. You know exactly what your ex is doing when they push, bait, violate the court order, or put the kids in the middle. You've read the articles. You've heard about grey rock. You're smart — you've built a career, raised children, solved genuinely complex problems. And you still react. Every time. This is not a character flaw. This is your nervou...