PodcastOne

Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

Comedy EN ↓ 449 episodes

A comedy podcast featuring dramatic readings of one-star reviews written by real people with not-so-real problems. Hosted by siblings Xandy and Christine Schiefer.

Author

PodcastOne

Episodes

347: Reviews of GameStop 23.07.2025 1:02:48

Not to be confused with GayStop Schiefer Madness Productions appreciates you: ⁠https://gofund.me/9a321873⁠ We're coming to Indy and Detroit next!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube...

346: Reviews of Petting Zoos 16.07.2025 54:13

Support Xandy's dreams if you want but no pressure: https://gofund.me/9a321873 We're coming to Indy and Detroit next!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowe...

345: Reviews of Build-A-Bear Workshop 09.07.2025 1:05:59

Grab mom’s credit card, we’re going to BAB! San Francisco show is TONIGHT!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok!...

344: QVC Reviews 02.07.2025 1:00:45

We love VPH aka Our Lady of QVC Come see us in California!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok....

343: Reviews of Cocktail Recipes 25.06.2025 1:03:49

I'll take a Dirty Jimmy Carter on the rocks, please. SEE US LIVE! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon to send us a voicemail! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok...

342: Reviews of Bicycle Stores 18.06.2025 1:08:26

This episode we learn how to fix your bike's jickle flamber. We're performing in Florida tonight and tomorrow!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon to send us a voicemail! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatert...

341: Reviews of Farmers' Markets 11.06.2025 1:06:25

Don't listen if you have a mealworm phobia. See you in Florida in one week!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on...

340: Reviews of Hard Seltzer 04.06.2025 1:10:36

Be careful listening to this episode while in ketosis. Our tour starts in two weeks!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our epi...

339: Reviews of BBQ Sauce 28.05.2025 1:15:19

No sushi was harmed in the making of this episode. Our tour is guickly approaching!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episo...

338: Reviews of Chocolate Factories 21.05.2025 1:06:11

Breaking up families, one listener at a time. Tour tickets on sale now!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTo...

337: Reviews of Wax Museums 14.05.2025 1:29:22

Our found family includes Voldemort, Snow White, and Rudyard Kipling. See us on tour!! Or are those just wax versions of us? https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosand...

336: Reviews of Period Products 07.05.2025 1:37:27

Apologies for confusing Helen Mirren with the real star of Devil Wears Prada, Diane Keaton. See Christine and her popcorn pants on tour!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com...

335: Reviews of Beans 30.04.2025 1:19:01

We love Pinto Macbean and definitely not because we're afraid of him! See us on tour!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our epi...

334: Reviews of Laundromats 23.04.2025 59:51

Everyone wish Christine a happy birthday! See us on tour!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://ti...

333: Reviews of Tiki Bars 16.04.2025 1:30:07

See us on tour and don't throw quarters at us!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@b...

332: Reviews of Chiropractors 09.04.2025 1:26:51

See us on tour and at our EPCOT after party!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon to get pre-sale access! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com...

331: Reviews of April Fools Pranks 02.04.2025 1:17:41

SEE US ON TOUR!!! Tickets on sale this Friday!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon to get pre-sale access! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.c...

330: Reviews of Multivitamins 26.03.2025 1:03:01

After recording this episode, Xandy found an empty can of rootbeer on his floor. Join our Patreon to watch us watch Noddy being naughty! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! http...

329: St. Patrick's Day Reviews 19.03.2025 1:09:11

If your name is O'Brien, Murphy, Fitzpatrick, etc. it's a very BIG day. Join our Patreon to watch us watch Noddy being naughty! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tikto...

328: Reviews of Beginner Crochet Kits 12.03.2025 1:13:04

We expect to see your thumbs up if you like this episode. Join our Patreon to watch us watch Noddy deal with Goblins! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@bea...

327: Between You And Us 05.03.2025 1:05:58

We're confident Jimmy Carter would've been a sand monster. Join our Patreon to watch us watch Noddy for some reason! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beac...

326: Reviews of Rivers 26.02.2025 1:25:30

If you see Christine by the Charles River trying to sell you on eternal life... no you didn't. Join our not so secret labor force! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://ti...

325: Reviews of Art Classes 19.02.2025 1:19:50

A new wave of freshness! Listen now! Join our not so secret labor force! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.co...

324: Reviews of Off-Brand Sodas 12.02.2025 1:25:16

Sit around the fire as Christine regales you with the Ballad of Dr. Perky Send us a voicemail! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy...

323: Reviews of Yoga Studios 05.02.2025 1:46:07

Susej, I choose you! Send us a voicemail! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Learn more...