PodcastOne

Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

Comedy EN ↓ 449 episodes

A comedy podcast featuring dramatic readings of one-star reviews written by real people with not-so-real problems. Hosted by siblings Xandy and Christine Schiefer.

Author

PodcastOne

Episodes

372: Reviews of Locksmiths 14.01.2026 1:01:18

Call the Locksmith!!! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

371: Reviews of Old-Timey Candy 07.01.2026 44:32

Guess what, busters! Guess what, busters? See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

370: Reviews of Hangover Cures 31.12.2025 56:40

Happy wonderwall to you and yours and bApp. -- SPONSORS: Check out https://boxiecat.com/beach for a discount on BoxieCat's self-cleaning litter! -- We have merch!! https://www.beachtoosandy.store See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

369: Reviews of Mall Santas 24.12.2025 59:27

2 surfs,a quick dance, a few mushrooms and 2 giant connect 4 games See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

368: Reviews of Pet Psychics 17.12.2025 47:51

Sorry, pet communicators. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

367: Reviews of Renaissance Faires with Bryan Green 10.12.2025 1:45:44

This is gonna ruin the tour... What tour? The moose tour. Check out The Commercial Break! https://www.tcbpodcast.com Follow Bryan! https://instagram.com/bryanwgreen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

366: Reviews of Soup Recipes 03.12.2025 59:39

My soup is full of eels. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

365: Reviews of Turkey Trots 26.11.2025 1:35:18

To see Xandy at his most athletic, check out our Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/beachtoosandy We also have new merch!! https://www.beachtoosandy.store See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

364: Reviews of Labubus 19.11.2025 1:01:22

Give us money so Christine can buy more Labubus for her legion: www.patreon.com/BeachTooSandy See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

363: Reviews of Great Wolf Lodge 12.11.2025 56:28

Tune in next week for 364: Reviews of Great Wolf Spider Lodge Stuff here: www.beachtoosandy.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

362: Reviews of Hospitals with Nurse Blake 05.11.2025 1:30:04

Throw on your finest Armani tracksuit, because we've got hospitals to complain about. See Nurse Blake on tour or on the open sea!! https://www.nurseblake.com/ Follow him on Instagram @Nurse. Blake and TikTok @NurseBlake Join our Patreon for Noddy content!  https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch!  https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch clips of your favorite moments!  htt...

361: Reviews of Halloween Costumes 29.10.2025 59:07

Happy Halloween! Or Sad Halloween in Xandy's case! I don't feel like writing anything else here today. Go google us or something. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

360: Reviews of Pumpkin Recipes 22.10.2025 53:24

Last show of our 2025 tour is this Saturday!! Get your tickets! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

359: Live in Plano, TX 15.10.2025 1:31:13

We're excited to share our Plano show with you!! Just three more shows left: Seattle tonight, Portland tomorrow, and New York on the 25th. Get your tickets! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

358: Reviews of Abandoned Places 08.10.2025 51:37

Tune in next week for another edition of The Priestly Priest Report. See us LIVE!!!  https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tou⁠r Join our Patreon for Noddy content!  https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch!  https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch clips of your favorite moments!  https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Find us on Instagram and TikTok @BeachTooSandy S...

357: Reviews of Revolving Sushi 01.10.2025 1:01:37

You’ve been revolving around this sushi restaurant for 27 years!  See us LIVE!!!  https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tou⁠r Join our Patreon for Noddy content!  https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch!  https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch clips of your favorite moments!  https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Find us on Instagram and TikTok @BeachTooSandy...

356: Reviews of Hair Removal Products 24.09.2025 50:39

Midwest shows are happening now! Kansas City tonight! Omaha tomorrow! St. Louis Friday! Malort Sunday!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tou⁠r Join our Patreon for free! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Find us on Instagram and TikTok @BeachTooSandy See Privacy P...

355: Reviews of Community Theaters 17.09.2025 1:00:29

Send in the clowns! See us LIVE!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tou⁠r Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Find us on Instagram and TikTok @BeachTooSandy See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Not...

354: Reviews of Wine Bars 10.09.2025 1:04:10

Taking a break from Cracker Barrel content...... for now. See us LIVE!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tou⁠r Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Find us on Instagram and TikTok @BeachTooSandy See Privacy Policy at https://art19....

353: Reviews of the Old Cracker Barrel Logo 03.09.2025 1:05:31

SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP See us LIVE!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tou⁠r Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Find us on Instagram and TikTok @BeachTooSandy See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Not...

352: Reviews of the New Cracker Barrel Logo 27.08.2025 57:32

Already looks like we need to do a follow-up episode... See us LIVE!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tou⁠r Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Find us on Instagram and TikTok @BeachTooSandy See Privacy Policy at https://art19.co...

351: Reviews of Jo-Ann Fabrics 20.08.2025 57:46

Support elevator victims making movies: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://gofund.me/9a321873⁠⁠⁠⁠ See us LIVE!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tou⁠r Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Find us on Instagram and TikTok @BeachTooSandy See Privacy Policy...

350: Reviews of Popsicles 13.08.2025 58:29

To see the worst SpongeBob popsicle, visit https://www.instagram.com/beachtoosandy Support weirdos making movies: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://gofund.me/9a321873⁠⁠⁠⁠ Indy and Detroit here we come!! ⁠https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tou⁠ r Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your...

349: Reviews of T.J. Maxx 06.08.2025 58:41

This episode is best enjoyed in a T.J. Maxx bathroom. Support weirdos making movies: ⁠⁠⁠https://gofund.me/9a321873⁠⁠⁠ Indy and Detroit here we come!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tou r Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.you...

348: Reviews of Banned Books 30.07.2025 1:08:27

Support weirdos making movies: ⁠⁠https://gofund.me/9a321873⁠⁠ Indy and Detroit here we come!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our e...