Be the Change in Your Marriage

Reclining theatre seats, a tub of popcorn (which I usually dump a pack of peanut m&ms into- rapture!) and the Barbie movie with my home girls! (My mom, daughter and one friend 😁) Did you see it?  I’d love to hear your take on it. I was excessively diverted 🤓.   There was incredible wit and artistry in the visual details as well as the acting.  It moved me to tears from both giant belly laugh...

Insights from an excerpt of THE 80/80 MARRIAGE by Nate Klemp PH.D. and Kaley Klemp Every so often (with about the frequency that someone besides you replaces the toilet paper roll), a certain turn of phrase is able to shift the dusty cumbersome furniture in your well-entrenched mind parlor, revealing something your innermost being has always known which had but awaited the illumination of your rec...

You will never forget the way he looked at you on your wedding day.  The way he just let the vision of you soak in, as if looking at you was the only item on his to-do list, and all he required for sustenance.  During those heady days, he honored you, he delighted in you, he listened, and your thoughts mattered to him. You loved his energy, his enthusiasm and his decisiveness which picked up where...

My heart is full today. I recently finished such an inspiring book that encompasses the message I’ve been trying to express all this time with such clarity, and such humor. As Cheryl McClary, author of THE COMMITMENT CHRONICLES, so delightfully tells us, (actually I won’t share her words yet, I’ll share what’s coming from me after feeling her wisdom wash over me): If you’re going around being bumm...

Last Sunday I got mildly annoyed with my husband for not making more of an effort to pitch in and move things along so we could get to church on time.  He’s been wonderfully involved before, helping little kids get ready, etc.,  but has had a lot on his mind lately.  And my bad, I didn't bother to ask.  I missed the sacrament- my most important weekly ritual of spiritual renewal.  I was a bit...

When we roll through the experience of noticing our blessings and feeling those feelings of enjoying, cherishing, and holding gratitude for what we have, we are strengthening the electromagnetic pull for additional enjoyment, cherishing and gratitude. We can feel it building upon itself as we consciously hold it, examine it and relish it. The snowball is an old metaphor, but for a reason, so don’t...

Have you noticed how much of a buzz catch phrase “healthy boundaries” has become?  I notice a great deal of emphasis being placed on looking out for oneself- and that’s not a bad thing at all, but little is made of the experience of the person on the receiving end of the boundary- especially if the person has been sorted by a pop psychology label.  It’s as if once they’ve been tagged as a “such an...

What would it look like if the next action you took was purely for someone’s benefit?  What if you looked at them and every desire of your heart was to see relief pouring over them or the beaming of sudden joy, or to embrace them until they had no doubt of your love?  What if that person was you?  What would be happening?  What would you be doing or saying?  What can you do right now, in this mome...

I want to encourage you to take more frequent phone breaks, and not just for the obvious reasons. What are the obvious reasons?  The obvious reasons are that it blocks out opportunities to interact and deepen your connection.  It takes the place of exchanges you might naturally fall into together. As Dr. Matt Townsend recently mentioned on Instagram, (& no the irony there is not lost on me) “S...

I want to talk about what to do when he pulls away.  And it just might involve getting "selfish".   And I don’t necessarily mean dropping a couple grand for a spa day or buying yourself Stuart Weitzman heels, though if that's your thing, go for it!  I’ve just been reading the brilliant classic book THE DANCE OF INTIMACY by Dr. Harriet Goldhor Lerner and my highlighter pen is relinquishing its life...

I hated myself for picking “the wrong man”. How could I be such an emotionally immature idiot as to jump into marriage with someone who made me so unhappy? Other people were in romantic, nurturing, connected relationships, but not me.  I had missed my chance by saying those “cursed ‘I do’ words” when I did. I fell into a deep depression by allowing myself to believe those thoughts.  It was difficu...

Come join me in my free Facebook group ❤️‍🩹WIVES CHANGING LIVES❤️‍🩹, because the Get Cozy by Valentine’s Day Challenge has been going HARD.  It’s really a crash course in transformation with 7 key points so far. On Day 1 we talked about having a vision for your life that guides your actions. Just listen to this amazing advice from David Cameron Gikandi: "Before you do anything, always ask yourse...

If you love this podcast, and you have not signed up for my free Get Cozy by Valentine’s Day Challenge yet, I want you to join us in my private Facebook group at this link forthwith!  ASAP.  We’re having a great time already.  It will be awesome for you whether your marriage is in serious trouble, or you just want to feel closer and have a lovely love day. We’re swapping a few tales that wouldn’t...

Ten and something years ago, I saw myself as the patient, longsuffering victim of my clueless, insensitive husband’s harsh communication.  And did he feel it?  Yes, he did.  But I was making a mistake I had no idea I was making.  And I was doing it all the Fraggle Rockin’ time.  And you might be doing it too.  And it’s ok.  We genuinely have no reason at all to believe we’re doing anything wrong....

I get so much value from the work of Dr. Benjamin Hardy on YouTube.  He is perhaps the most driven, focused, goal-oriented success story I have ever encountered, and every time I listen to him speak I end up with three or four more books on my must read list.  I’m going to borrow from his video I just watched yesterday called THE 3 FUNDAMENTAL LAWS OF SUCCESS. His three principles, my commentary....

When Elie Wiesel gave his Nobel Peace Prize Acceptance speech, he imagined that the child he once was, the child who had staggered through the horrors of the Nazi concentration camps, an experience he dubbed The Kingdom of Night, was now addressing him.  "'Tell me,' he asks, 'What have you done with my future, what have you done with your life?' And I tell him that I have tried." “Every moment,” h...

I thought we could wrap up this year together, and get ourselves on a great trajectory for the New Year.  If you can listen to this at a time when you can pause it to write these things down, that would be awesome. Grab a notebook and a pen or the notes app on your phone or tablet. Some questions came from an Instagram post by MEL ROBBINS called Before you plan 2023, ask yourself these 5 questions...

Thinking about the holidays and all you struggling mamas brought up a painful memory. I first divorced when my oldest was just under two. It was New Year’s Day when I moved out of our little family home and gave my little chubbins two homes instead of one. But even though I knew that relationship needed to end due to the vast disparity in our values, I was not prepared for what it would do to my m...

Thank you so much for following and placing me in Spotify’s top 25% of most followed Podcasts!  I’m so grateful for everyone who listens.  Thanks for opening your time and your heart to me.  It is a privilege. And speaking of your heart, I know it can weigh heavily around the holidays.  In a time of warmth and togetherness, it can ache that much more terribly to have the feeling that you and your...

A lovely, amazing woman came to me in a marriage she feared was over.  Her husband was sleeping in his office and she struggled with the question of whether their union was worth saving. She felt unseen and undervalued and it seemed that her husband was warm and welcoming to everyone but her. Through our work together she had a massive shift. She realized that what she was experiencing from her hu...

No matter how much of a canker blossom your husband is, you can be at peace in your heart, and find sweet hope for your future. You can even learn to love him, and find all kinds of creative and liberating ways to inspire him to be far less of a canker blossom. This is what I love to jam with you on. Let’s brainstorm! ( Complimentary Session) What do you need more of in your life? More laughter, m...

I just saw an inspiring reel on Instagram by @peacefulmindpeacefullife , an account I would highly recommend following- fabulous messages.  The reel spoke of the Top Five Regrets of the Dying.  It was based on a book I now want to read, by the same title, by a veteran palliative nurse named Bronnie Ware, (My sincere apologies for calling her "Bonnie" through the entire episode 😳) who spoke to and...

To celebrate my 50th episode, I am giving away a fabulous "Falling For You" Date Night Inbox, which "includes several interactive activities, a delicious snack, a custom curated dinner menu and so much more". Head over to Instagram to see how you can win it! I want you to decide today that you are going to live your best life. Now the social media and retail culture would like you to believe that...

Are you aching for your husband to just acknowledge you?   Wishing for some clue that you matter to him?  That he thinks you get some things right once in a while?  That he feels that he’s in the right place and not sitting around daydreaming of being with someone else? Have you been trying to get him to realize this, but you just can’t seem to make any headway?  If you try to kindly explain your...

Summer, my husband just sat down on the couch again with a beer to watch hockey, and all I want to do is pour old baby formula into his new Nikes. I know, honey. It’s a J.O.B. and a half to find anything hopeful when you’re drowning in this ocean of MEH and worse than MEH- full on pain. BUT- as a goddess in the making, as the beautiful human that you are, endowed with consciousness, imagination, s...