Be Gay Solve Crimes

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes , we are joined by a very special surprise guest, a woman who is just SO cool like, the incomparable Charlotte McDonnell from (among so many other things!) the podcast What's All This Then ! Specifically to talk about That Episode. You know the one. It's a Doctor Whodunnit, babyyyy. Allons-y! Join us as Mia tries to get us all to talk about Star Trek instead (futur...

On this, our first ever extra special Halloween Spook-tacular episode of Be Ghoul Solve Screams , we cower behind the sofa to watch the scariest Poirot film ever made, courtesy of our beloved master of ceremonies Kenneth Branagh. Ancient curses, cannibalism, and casting decisions more horrifying than them all put together await you. Enter… if you dare! Join us as Mia invents a new non-pharmacologi...

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes , we give you all the clues. Well, maybe not all of them. Some of the clues. A few clues. We're giving you a smattering of clues. Okay, final offer, we'll give you two thirds of the clues for two thirds of the hosts. That's right, it's the Lucy and Nova show this week, and we're tackling the 2017 film production catastrophe that was The Snowman. Join us as we scien...

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we take a trip down memory lane to the year 2007, and immediately remember why the hell we ran away from there. It's the toxically theatrical and theatrically toxic Sleuth, a film that no one saw, but we assume everyone who did went on to transition. Join us as we invent Lancashire Simlish, Nova returns to the Late Noughties with a baseball bat to give it a piece...

You asked one question: Are the Be Gay Solve Crimes  girlies ever going to cover a Coen brothers film?  And after all this time, we finally answered. Oh yah. You betcha.  Join us as Nova debates the best kind of walkie talkie sound effect, Mia gets very passionate about office feng shui, and Lucy complete butchers the pronunciation of Peter Stormare. To listen to the full version of this bonus epi...

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes , we’re getting a deeper shade of pinko and somehow yet more pan about it for the first of many Inspector Clouseau films; it’s that maddeningly madcap sixties classic, The Pink Panther! Join us as discuss the best way to coax some feeling back into David Niven’s little blue acorn, get distracted by Lucy’s childhood trauma, and finally work out once and for all what...

It's Scandi Week on Be Gay Solve Crimes , and so we're catching a red-eye flight above the Arctic circle to the city that never sleeps (Norwegian), just in time to check out a dazzlingly depressing work of sunlit Scandinavian noir, a film so Norse they made it tworce, it’s Insomnia (1997) starring Stellan Scarsgård! Join us as Nova subtly tries to get Lucy to transform her into a musical jingle, L...

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we pay our respects to the late, great Tim Curry with a special episode on possibly the most famous adaptation of a board game ever, Clue! Join us as we welcome back our favourite Professional Automotive Journalist Victoria Scott of Tran Girlismo as a guest, Mia reveals the secrets of her shameful Swedish musical theatre-kid past and Lucy whips out her pitch perfe...

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes , we're taking what will be the first of many looks at Lt. Frank Drebin to prove that cops and women DO mix, starting with The Naked Gun (1988)! Join us as Lucy succumbs to rapid onset face blindness, Mia finally finds the missing piece of her life’s most elusive jigsaw puzzle, and Nova gets us all on a Skyrim tangent so obscure that it might as well be considered...

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes , we're going back to 1970s Los Angeles if you can imagine such a thing. It's the Raymond Chandler classic The Long Goodbye with our beloved work-husband Philip Marlowe! Join us as you hallucinate us all hosting a podcast for you, Nova outlines exactly which hobbies are sure signs of trans-femininity, Mia tells us about what it is about Mexico that gets her dog all...

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes , we welcome the Chinese century with our most Brackets Chinese detective movie yet. A film that might be described as “what if someone made Disco Elysium the movie but set in Heilongjiang instead of Estonia.” It’s Black Coal, Thin Ice (2014), a.k.a. Daylight Fireworks. Join us for a 2 hour extravaganza where we take a firm stance against the Nightcrawler Body-Cam...

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes , we thought it was about time we checked in on our Boy* in the Deerstalker**, and what better place to find him than Guy Ritchie's 2009 brawl-fest Sherlock Holmes (2009) starring the acclaimed actor Robert Downey's acclaimed actor son. Join us as Nova gets discombobulated by Hans Zimmer doing terrible things to a piano, Mia finally divulges her bedtime (so you can...

On this week's bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes , we're getting voyeuristic about it Alfred Hitchcock-style with the curtain-twitching classic Rear Window (1954), featuring simultaneously the best dressed and worst dressed arm-chair sleuths we've yet seen. Join us as we give ourselves Grace Kelly dysphoria, Mia comes out swinging on behalf of Team "Rear Window Is Bad", Nova talks us through wh...

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes , we’re getting in touch with the evil side of detectives, where policing, repression, and even Hollywood makeup can get a shade too dark. That’s right, it’s Orson Welles’ Touch of Evil (1958). Join us as we all fangirl over one of our favourite honey-voiced filmmakers, Nova recounts the anecdote of the angriest she’s ever seen Lucy, Mia goes to war with a fly, and...

On this extra special bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're joined by our dear friend Devon of Kill James Bond to talk about one of the most transgender detective films of all time, a movie we've been itching to do ever since we started this podcast, it's the hybrid cartoon film noir classic, Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988). Join us as Nova activates theologian mode to explore the theological...

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes , we're boogying on down back to tinseltown for some 1970s crashout double act deliciousness, it's the eponymous "guys" from The Nice Guys (2016). Join us as we discover the fastest way of converting someone to Catholicism, the fastest way to convert someone to The Blue Man Group, and the fastest way to remind Lucy that she's lowkey kinda bisexual. If you want to h...

On this week’s Bonus Episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes , we’re on the hunt for a legendary movie, one of the best of all time, so we’re told. But when we find it, will it be everything that we hoped it would be? That’s right, we’re doing The Maltese Falcon! Join us as we get lost in a plot that pulls a 180° every single sentence, discuss the praxis of blowing kisses at cops, and we get a little sidet...

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes , Nova rolls a natural twenty on the most insanely unlikely movie pull yet. It’s the exhaustively-memed early-00s stoner comedy Super Troopers, and for some reason it’s more transgender than we could have possibly guessed. Join us for Barefoot Cops, frozen bananas, sublimated homosexuality, and a guy eating a whole plate of cannabis. Hold on, wait, didn't we do tha...

On this bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes , we turn on, tune in, and drop out for a groovy double-LP of an episode with two detectives for the price of one. That’s right, daddio, it’s Inherent Vice! Come join us as we give ourselves 1960s hippie dysphoria, discuss the best technique for eating a frozen banana, and calculate exactly how hench you’d have to be to body a toilet cistern lid to the...

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes , we take a detour from the classics to have a proper gander at the copaganda screenwriters are making today. And it turns out, they don't make 'em like they used to. That's right, it’s the alarmingly recent and alarmingly cisgender Mercy (2026). Join us to see just how long it takes us to give up mashing a square peg into a round hole, Mia gives us advice on how t...

On this bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes , we don our blood filled black leather converse all stars for a trip back to I, Robot (2004), based on some of Isaac Asimov's best sentences. Join us as we welcome Mia Mulder home and finally discover her opinions on Columbo, hear us explain to you to the family-unfriendly rules of The Shia LeBeouf Game, and enjoy the patreon-exclusive privilege of all...

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes , we're joined by our dear friend Josh Boerman (host of Worst of All Possible Worlds and Ill Conceived !) for an episode all about that scruffiest of detectives, Columbo. Specifically in... uhh... [spinning a big wheel] ...Season 2, Episode 5? Requiem For A Falling Star? Join us as we dive into a feast of Old Hollywood Lesbianism, Lucy reveals exactly what would ma...

On this Patreon exclusive bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes , we're gonna keep riding this Philip K Dick train all the way into android town. That's right, it's the surprisingly sleepy BLADE RUNNER (1982). Join us as we discuss Harrison Ford's slutty little waist, Mia lays out a theory about Making The Pimp Hat work, Lucy discusses the literary legacy of Orc City and accidentally starts a fight...

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes , we’re cruising on over to the noughties to watch the ever-prescient Steven Spielberg film Minority Report (2002), based on the classic novella by Philip K Dick. Join us for a vision of a future where we blow our entire Patreon budget on milk baths and pass the savings onto you, where a Colin Farrell can be too Catholic even for November Kelly, and how shaven a To...

On this Patreon exclusive bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes , we're checking in on our dear friend, the synth detective himself, Nick Valentine from Fallout 4 and Far Harbor. Join us as Lucy gets immediately sidetracked into talking about Fallout: New Vegas, Mia and Nova join forces to try and mod in a jerry-built judicial system to the post-apocalypse, and Nick Valentine gives us all some much...