Battle Royale: French Monarchs

This week, it's Clothar the ... well, he doesn't have an epithet like the last two Clothars. But his mum was cool! Is being the son of a saintly queen enough to evade the guillotine though? It's time to get into the very first of the Rois Fainéants - the Do-Nothing Kings! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for mak...

Get ready to meet Good King Dagobert, who wore his trousers inside-out! What the heck is that story all about, and will our cheekiest king yet be able to escape the guillotine? You'd better listen, to find out! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of th...

Becoming king when he was just a baby, he definitely earned the nickname "Clothar the Young", but does he deserve to be called "Clothar the Great"? This week Ben and Eliza witness the fate of Brunhilda, the reunification of the Franks after decades of civil war, and the emergence of a new power: the Mayor of the Palace. Vague and contradictory sources make this a difficult king to rate. Is a long,...

We don't have a King of All the Franks to review for about half a century, but we do have one extremely notorious queen: Fredegund. How does this dark age villainess rank compared to our kings? Her crimes include regicide, infanticide, a Red Wedding, harbouring a witch and violating the law of SANCTUARYYY.Join us again next week when we'll be continuing our line of Merovingian kings. Will Fredegun...

Clothar the Old will outlive all his brothers and become the next King of All the Franks... but is self-preservation alone enough to save him from the guillotine? How far will Clovis's children devolve into war and depravity, and what difficult choice lies ahead of our beloved Queen Clotilda? Find out this week on Battle Royale! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️Battle Royale's intro/ou...

It's time to get guillotining!!! Unless, of course, we decide our first King of All the Franks, Clovis, is worthy of being spared. Only one way to find out...Battle Royale is not liable for any injures obtained as a result of standing on a shield. That being said, Eliza is determined to see this Germanic custom recreated IRL. (But seriously ... don't.) Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️...

Don't skip the introduction! In this episode, we explain the format of our podcast, before taking you on a concise tour through the history of France before it was France.   Special appearances from woolly mammoths, Hannibal of Carthage, Julius Caesar and history's greatest cabbage farmer Diocletian. And let's not forget - loads and loads of moustachioed Gauls!   Stay tuned for next week, when we'...

Bienvenue! Before you dive in, here's a brief message telling you what the hell this is, and where we reckon you should start listening. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.⚜️CATEGORIESBen and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for t...