Basic Snitches

Chapter 5: An Excess of Phlegm - Here's a reminder that PrincessPickle69 hates French people... 🙄 We discuss how Harry learns some new info on his future -laws, girls are brats, and Ginny is sassy. We play Tara's actual least favorite game and decide that Julia Child invented French food.

Chapter 4: Horace Slughorn - We are unprepared. Shout out to HPST for our solution (in which we were also terribly unsuccessful). So we meet Slughorn. That dude is weird and a bit creepy. Harry is sassy (so much sassy Harry in this book!) and Dumble continues to NOT TELL HARRY WTF IS GOING ON 🙄 But we finally get Jim Broadbent in the movie, which is delightful... they definitely got Harry WAY wro...

Chapter 3: Will and Won't - This chapter is not actually about Harry getting cockblocked in a coffee shop. Sassy Dumble is here. Vernon is terrible. Dudley is understandably uncomfortable (another reminder that Dudley has been traumatized by wizards and magic!). Also, what are housecoats anyway?

Chapter 2: Spinner's End - Sassy Snape is here!! Bellatrix is a dumbass. Snape is sassy. Wormtail is...there. Also... margaritas.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Chapter 1: The Other Minister - We are here, friends. BOOK 6! How did this happen? Magic 🤷‍♀️ We start this book off in the muggle world, like usual, but not with the Dursleys! The muggle Prime Minister meets with his least favorite (ours, too, Prime Minister, ours too...) wizard politician then he gets to meet a lion. We learn that Fudge has (FINALLY)...

Hey Snitches, season 6 is coming your way starting NEXT WEEK! If you haven't had a chance to listen to our special pre-season Back to Hogwarts special, check it out! Meanwhile, enjoy a minute or so of what's coming at you starting next week! Catch you 9/21/22 for the first official episode of Snitches season 6 where we talk about chapter 1 of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, The Other Minis...

Happy season 6, Snitches! And happy Back to Hogwarts Day!!! Even though we're not *quite* ready to launch our chapter by chapter discussion of Half Blood Prince quite yet, we could not leave you lonely on this special day! So...we have asked our lovely friend, Ravenclaw Alex Petsche, to talk to us about our favorite Harry- Daniel Radcliffe - and all things non-Harry that he's been up to ❤️

To finish off season 5, we give you another cutting room floor! Are we as funny as we think we are? Yes. Yes we are 😂

Book 5 wrap up! We finished this reeeeaaaaallllyyyyyy long book!!! So long, Umbitch!

Chapter 38: The Second War Begins - The final chapter of OotP and Brian is with us again!!! We discuss Harry's good intentions and the horrible results of being too cautious, how terrible Draco continues to be, the ridiculousness of the Hogwarts points systems (where Drunk Tara strikes again 🤦‍♀️🙄But I guess at least she's confident?), And just how incredibly SAD this chapter is...

Chapter 37: The Lost Prophecy - Dumble is finally giving Harry some answers. This chapter is fraught with emotions and irony. We will say it again - Wizards need so much therapy.

Today, we do a deep dive into the Hogwarts curriculum with Jill Grunenwald & Sydney Kalnay Spoiler - Hogwarts' curriculum is garbage 🤷‍♀️

Chapter 36: The Only One He Ever Feared - Soooo, Harry goes off on Bellatrix, gets possessed and then passes out. Dumbledore proves that the gays are the most powerful force on the planet and we discuss the dubious consent in Voldy and Bella's relationship. We also learn where Draco gets his bullying skills.. from his aunt Bellatrix, who is terrible.. (also, note that Tara misspoke and referred to...

Chapter 35: Beyond the Veil - So...heads up, the end of this chapter is SAD... Adam and Tara discuss the new things we see as we dive deeper into the Department of Mysteries, as well as the skills (or lack of) the 11+ death eaters who are kind of losing against 6 teenagers 🤷‍♀️ Bellatrix is arguably the second worst villain in the series and, while HBC is brilliant in the role in the movies, it's...

Chapter 34: The Department of Mysteries - We open with a rant. Time to dismantle the patriarchy... and also mind your business thanks very much. Adam reveals his expertise in horse breeds. We spend a lot of time speculating on the policies of security at the Ministry and the (incredibly obvious) 6-2-4-4-2 code.  Honestly the Ministry of Magic does not make sense. There is also a fairly dark d...

Chapter 33: Fight and Flight - We are all over the place in this one...so buckle in, Snitches. It's celebration time! The Sagittariuses (Sagittari?) take out pink bitch!!!! How do the silver trio and Ron get away from the Nazi youths? Not clear. Guess it's not important. Now let's fly to London and don't worry if you can't see the horse you're going to fly on. 😳

Chapter 32: Out of the Fire - We have been saying it for weeks... IT'S GO TIME! Only, this really is go time! A lot of really great discussion in this one...complete with more of us filling in our completely canon backstory on Grubbly-Plank 😂 We phone in the movie portion again, discuss the qualities (or lack of qualities) of rice pudding, and have a short quiz.

Chapter 31: OWLS - Yay. Standardized tests 🙄 Adam gives us some study tips and we discuss the effectiveness of each of the Hogwarts teachers. We are both shocked as we realize that Ron is suddenly the most sensible one in the group and we confirm that Lichtenstein is indeed a real place and not a Tolkien creation.

Chapter 30: Grawp (The Grawps) - This episode is dedicated to Chad. Fred and George are still heroes and pink demon is slowly losing control of the student body. We go off the rails a bit but mostly this episode is about sports and ***The Grawps*** Also, Hagrid has shockingly not accidentally killed Harry in the 5 years they've known each other... 😬😬😬 Even though we are not sports people we're...

Chapter 29: Career Advice - Brian is back!!! We discuss how Snape and Umbitch are horrible teachers and how McG is amazing and we give major friend points to the twins and Ginny.

Chapter 28: Snape's Worst Memory - Adam has a new nickname for Umbridge!!! Sarah is back and we discuss the interrogation methods of Pink chode and the convenient lack of clarity surrounding the science of occlumeny (because plot). James Potter was an asshole but also don't turn into your bullies... SNAPE 😒 Soooo... what is the dress code for under your robe?

Chapter 27: The Centaur and the Sneak- It's time for another Ravenclaw to join us! We have mimosas, we laugh a lot, we play FMK (Umbridge always dies) and we all determine that Dumble is a badass in this chapter.

Chapter 26: Seen and Unforseen - Somehow we are sober and we manage to sound outrageously drunk... More discussion of awkward teen romance and about how awesome Ginny is. Also, nobody cares about Quidditch... 🤷‍♀️ So much bullying is happening.. from students AND teachers.. 😒 Ashley - where is our rubarb crumble? Also, what is that one instrument? Mail delivery time should maybe be reevaluate. T...

Chapter 25: The Beetle at Bay - Time for another Snape rant from Tara! Adam gives his notes from the last two episodes. Teenagers are bad at romance. Also, Valentine's Day is bullshit.

The time has come for us to discuss the ridiculous, hilarious and somewhat problematic A Very Potter Musical! Y'all, it's a wild one!