Basic Snitches

Chapter 26: The Cave - It's finally vacay time!!!! Dumble and Harry arrive in Palm springs to find that the hotel accommodations were not as expected.... But at least, there are some cool water features...

Chapter 25: The Seer Overhead - So why can Slughorn give students mead but Trelawney has to hide he sherry bottles? Also, everything is Snape's fault. 🤷‍♀️

Chapter 24 - Sectumsempra Adam's house is hot and Tara is slowly removing clothing. Draco and Harry have a dick measuring contest. Again. Ginny is the actual best. Harry is an idiot. Seriously. WTF Harry. PS. Snape still sucks.

Chapter 23: Horcruxes - Dan is still here and with Dan, we get Victoria - queen of the fantastic one-liners! Seriously though, Victoria and Adam bring the chaotic energy to this episode while we highlight just how nerdy Dan is. This podcast is full of nerds. Tapeworms are gross.

SINNING IS FUN! Pausing from the book for just one week, we discuss the Seven Deadly Sins and how the characters of the series represent each one. We also take a look at the Seven Heavenly Virtues.

Chapter 22: After the Burial - On this week's episode of "wizards will pretty much drink anything you put in front of them", we discuss Slughorn and Hagrid's drunken shenanigans, continue to acknowledge Hermione as the voice of reason, and learn that Harry is really skilled at guilt tripping people...(wonder who he learned that from... )

Chapter 21: The Unknowable Room - The most important thing in this chapter is that sassy Ron is amazing 😂 Also, it's clear that both Harry AND Kreacher need to chill when it comes to their obsession with Malfoy.

Chapter 20: Lord Voldemort's Request - Brian is back and there are hot cookies! Madame Adam makes an appearance! We roast Dumble a lot here and discuss the journey of each horcrux that Voldy has made and we do an interesting word collaboration.

Chapter 19: Elf Tales - Basically, McDickface is the WORST. Also, Ron needs to grow a pair and PomPom is sassy. The taco discussion in this episode is INTENSE. Because tacos are the most important.

Chapter 18: Crispy Dick...I mean, Birthday Surprises - Everyone sucks dicks. We all know what the 3 Ds are... 🤷‍♀️

Chapter 17: A Sluggish Memory - It is canon. Ed Sheeran is a Weasley (honestly, though, he should have been Charlie Weasley in the movies). We discuss the power of Sleepytime Tea and do our best to manifest the bonus that Dawlish deserves after having to be continually embarrassed by Dumble. Also, Death Eaters could have called themselves Dark Glamour and they didn't. Missed opportunities. So, are...

Chapter 16: A Very Frosty Christmas - We get a thing from the fuuuuuuuuutuuuureeee...(I don't know, some time in October of 2080 or something 🤷‍♀️). We discuss the abuse of garden gnomes and how the ministry is still garbage. Don't worry, though, Sassy Harry is here to tell the Lion Man about himself. Adam teaches everyone the true power of do and Tara has finally been domesticated.

Chapter 15: The Unbreakable Vow - Everyone is drunk and gay Adam. Tara. And everyone at Slughorn's party. This chapter is cattiness and Christmas parties. Also where is our book about Sanguini the nice vampire who just needs a snack?

Chapter 14: Felix Felicis - THE HORMONES, Y'ALL 😳 Did you know that the reason that Hogwarts has so many empty classrooms is because Dumble fired all the math teachers??? It's canon.

Chapter 13: The Secret Riddle - Another Dumble lesson! We discuss how Harry's instincts are pretty reliable and how maybe Dumble could directly respond to him instead of ignoring his concerns about Malfoy 😒 We also discuss our vast (lack of) knowledge about mouth instruments. Intrigued by the delicious list of ice cream flavors at the start of the episode? Those can be found through Jeni's ice cr...

HAPPY NEW YEAR SNITCHES! This week we are reviewing the reviews with AJ and Jen from Podcast in Death (Tara's other podcast). This time, we just talk about the movies. Some reviewers we agree with and some should probably stay off the internet 🤷‍♀️ Enjoy and get ready to dive back into Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince next week!!!

Happy all the holidays! Thank you for another year, Qwens! We hope you enjoy this (abridged) Snitch-ified adaptation of HP5 ❤️

Chapter 12: Silver and Opals - this chapter is actually just about one of our favorite Huffleclaws, Sarah Price, is traumatized in Hogsmede 🤷‍♀️ Neil makes an appearance and honestly it's just all we've been wishing for. Teenage boys are stupid (surprise? 🤔) and Adam has had enough of Slughorn's shenanigans.

Chapter 11: Hermione's Helping Hand - Let's take a moment to think about the irony of Adam, Tara and Ashley discussing sports. We also discuss how awful it would be to teach Preschool and that wizard preschool would be absolutely out of the question. (here is also where Tara openly acknowledges that she spoke the words "way more better" in this episode and must admit that she hadn't had alcohol ye...

Chapter 10: The House of Gaunt - Dumble and Harry go on a weird field trip and Adam shares some tarot knowledge. Also movie Dumble is way too interested in teenagers' love lives...

Chapter 9: The Half Blood Prince - Sass. Dick swinging. Terrible pedagogy. Lack of common sense. It must be a new year at Hogwarts.

Chapter 8: Snape Victorious - This is a classic Snitches episode in which we drink a lot and talk about how Snape is the worst.. also, we discuss the possible connection between Tonks' new patronus and Sirius. Where are Dumbledore's fancy gloves? And did you know that Slughorn lives in Bilbo Baggins? 😂🤦‍♀️

Chapter 7: The Slug Club - Basically this episode is us continuing our general "Draco really sucks" rant 🤷‍♀️ Also we decide that nobody gets to tell Harry FREAKING Potter that his friends aren't cool 😡

Hey Snitches, Trigger Warning on this episode as we break away from our regular chapter discussion to speculate on the mental health of our favorite (and not so favorite) wizards. Roxana is back to share some of her expertise as a licensed social worker. If discussing mental health may be triggering for you, please skip this episode and we'll be back with you next week! Take care of yourselves ❤️❤...

Chapter 6: Draco's Detour - Harry and Co. are back on their "not minding their own business" bullshit. Draco is still in his "I'm a terrible bully" bullshit and the Weasley twins are thriving on their regular - now profitable - bullshit. Also, having Roxana with us is the best ❤️