BAD AT KEEPING SECRETS

Regrets… I have some experience in this area because: a) I am a highly sensitive person , and b) I am always looking backwards. Always. I am a person who lives in the past tense. It is not something I am proud of. I have this annoying habit of ending the day by lying in bed thinking about all of the things that I said to people that day and wondering what the heck I was thinking. But I also look b...

Have you ever considered yourself a lazy person? I would say I do, when I walk past the sink of dirty dishes, telling myself I will do it later when it’s already been a bunch of laters already. Or when I jump into bed with a to-do list still left unfinished, wracked with the guilt that I could have done more if I just tried harder. But according to Dr. Devon Price maybe that’s not the case. Maybe...

Have you ever felt unconditionally loved? I guess I should start by defining what I mean when I say, Unconditional Love. I grew up with the understanding that this term meant that no matter what I did, or who I was, I was loved by my parents. Both of them made my sister and me aware of this fact by telling us and by showing up for us. Of course, they still got mad at our actions and praised us whe...

I am personally super fascinated by how our relationships with tech have changed the course of human friendships, romance, and family. How the community is evolving with and around our phones and the internet and everything else. In the zeitgeist of this moment, I feel like we are often using the term “alignment” to describe when situations, and interests are fueled by the same motivation. When I...

Can you accept yourself as you are? Do you ever feeling like shame is running the show? Today, we revisit my conversation with Lisa Olivera , a writer and therapist who shares work centered around radical acceptance, cultivating compassion, and integrating our stories and full humanity. “…Listening to ourselves and noticing some of those fears that come up, and asking if the fears that we have are...

“Longing itself is a creative and spiritual state.” —Susan Cain Recently, I have been spending a lot of time trying to define (and find meaning in) this moment, with my current understanding of reality. Why is life so hard? If hard things don’t always make us better/stronger, what is the point? There are so many ways to reframe pain in the positive. But I keep finding holes. Ways in which the theo...

Do you ever wonder why we think our brains are separate from our bodies? In this week’s episode, author and psychologist (and former finalist of the Great British Bake Off!) Kimberley Wilson talks us through her recent book How to Build a Healthy Brain and the role that sleep and nutrition play in how we feel. We address how emotions are grounded in the body - so to take care of brains, we must ta...

Katherine May’s new book, Enchantment, comes out this week! Feb 28 in the US and March 9 for the UK - preorder here (preordering a book is super important for authors to get seen. If you know you or a loved one want a copy, why not order it now?) Help Katherine get her message to the people who need to hear it. Or wait 2 more days if you’re feeling super patient. Thank you for reading BAD AT KEEPI...

Is comparison the thief of joy? Most days I think I can confidently say that I’m content with where I’m at, happy even, excited to celebrate in the small, mundane moments of everyday life while holding space to celebrate others’ joys and successes. Then there are the days where I find myself falling into a spiral, comparing myself to the highlight reels of a stranger’s Instagram. So how do we navi...

Many of us have a complicated understanding of the statement, “Things Were Meant To Be.” I know I do. So does Katie Hawkins-Gaar. It’s a concept that I long to take comfort in, but that’s not always helpful in processing grief. Katie started My Sweet Dumb Brain in 2018, a year and a half after her husband died while running a half marathon. He was 32. Suddenly she was a widow at the age of 31. My...

**Transcription of audio can be found at the end of this post** Humans are social beings, and we are happier, and better, when connected to others. - Paul Bloom Thank you for reading BAD AT KEEPING SECRETS. This post is public so feel free to share it. Paul Bloom is a professor, scholar, and writer who studies how humans make sense of the world. When he said yes to letting me interview him last ye...

**Transcription of audio can be found at the end of this post** This year, I’ve been curious about how holidays like Valentine’s may perpetuate co-dependence in our relationships. What are some ways that we could rewrite Valentine’s Day? I don’t have the answers, but I recently asked you all about it and so many of you wrote to me saying you would want it to be about: a) platonic love; or b) foste...

**Transcription of audio can be found at the end of this post** Florence Williams is a journalist, author, and podcaster. Her book, Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey, totally had me at the title. I have been a fan of Florence Williams since I read her book, The Nature Fix, a while back. BUT when I heard that she had been writing on my favorite topic ever I lost my mind. Her book, Heart...

There is something inherently beautiful in the human condition and being able to experience the entire range of emotions, both good and bad. But there’s also something undeniable that we can’t escape from - life is really hard. Sometimes I’m still not sure how I feel about silver linings. For me, it feels like there is a reality that is being denied when I force myself to see the “good” in every s...

I am not the kind of person who wants to be happy all the time. Actually, I am a wallower - sitting in pain is somehow worthy of time. But sometimes I get stuck. And lately, I have been deep in the mud. So I invited Cassie Holmes, a professor at UCLA’s Anderson School of Management to talk about her new book, “Happier Hour.” BAD AT KEEPING SECRETS is a reader-supported publication. We pick people...