Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast

The Bastards have landed! Now if only they can get past these synth bandits, and this little guy in the hooded cloak, and these thousands of rats, and, and… Kheen? Is that you? - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews Episode art by Bodie Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghe...

This week sit down with our Bastards to watch the Midspace famous show "Bobby got space 4 U!" (HEY Bastards! Recognize the sound of this lil' treat? That's right! This is the show that the synths are listening to in the beginning of S2E8! Did we go and actually make the whole show? YEAH! YEAH WE DID! And it's real short, so come on in here and get you some daytime TV nostalgia with a side of famil...

There’s a kidnapping ransom in Kheen’s quarters, and a new job on the Bastard’s plates. They’re off to save the famous designer, but are they truly seeing the full picture? - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews Episode art by Bodie Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi...

Our Bastards find themselves in the great creative halls of KHEEN! After all this time, will they get their amazing new 'fits? Or will there be some strange?... - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews Episode art by Daniel Matthews Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi Sy...

Our Bastards are hot on the heels of the bandits who stole their only chance at leaving this trash station. ..A Battery! THE Battery! The only one that'll get them outta here. With the help of Rads, the Rak, they may just be able to steal it and be back in time for a cheeky ten top. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor...

The Bastards are FINALLY kicking back and eatin' snacks, when Boris calls with a problem. That problem turns into a midnight adventure, and the Bastards, dare we say, make a new... friend? Hope they make it to the next day, there's armor to collect! - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews...

Under Boris' leadership, The Bastards have arrived at a moon made entirely out of trash. What brings them here? The quest for sauce and new outfits, of course! Something unique and something that will keep our Bastards alive longer, Glob we know they need it. Throw a battery or ten in there, while you're at it. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Ta...

HECK! The crew has just barely made it past The Shattered Wall- and they find themselves in immediate danger. They must now provide tribute to their new honored friends, or face the void of space alone. Well, surely The Bastards- extreme lovers of treats, merchandise and birthdays- can accomplish this feat.. Right? - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -...

Cleo and Ze race to get out of Zarg Moon territory before the New Terran forces blockade the entire sector. Aboard their starship the Grey Dragon, powered by an A.I called Reese, and piloted by the Zargian hero Trevor, The Bastards make a dash for it. And oh, Boris is there too! We wouldn't want to forget Boris. Ya never know when he may come in handy. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Mast...

Welcome back for Part 2 of The Dead Song! Join the Bastards this week with Lucas Duff to find out what will happen to our heroes, on their second long-awaited adventure with The Replicant! - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite as Nelvin -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews Guest DM and Sound Editing by -- Lucas Duff from Ballad of the Seven D...

Join The Bastards this week for a reunion! Both with the fantastic Lucas Duff from Ballad of the Seven Dice, and his unforgettable NPC, The Replicant. He takes us out deep into Midspace for another horror sci-fi adventure from which we can only hope to return.. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite as Nelvin -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthe...

We've made it to the end of a story arc! Heck yeah! So where to now? what "shinys" await? And how do we all feel? We have come a long, long way since that cantina in Midspace.  Well, in this 'State of the Podcast' episode, we chat about all of these things as we reminisce over the last year of shows and adventures. Pull up a chair and join us! - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richar...

After the ringing stops, there are decisions to be made. Floating in a sea of actual Orbital Refuse, our heroes find themselves reuniting. Come aboard to find out the fate of Clan Zarg, their moon, Larkey, and heck- the Bastards themselves. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews Herodotus Art...

The Bastards find themselves caught in a war, but they still have their wits, their guns, and BEAR CLAW! This isn't a situation where phoning a friend might save the day, but Herry won't let that stop him. It's also not a day for weak stomachs. So clearly, it must be time for some soup. Can our Bastards survive? or better question yet, will everyone else survive? - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the D...

Surely against such great odds, our Bastards won't be able to turn the tide of battle? Well the stakes are high, the time is now, and the Jelly, the Bear and the old man are ready to find out! - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - Even Mehl Amundsen Episo...

Meanwhile in a flagship prison cell... The Bastards put all three of their brain cells (ok Dr. Ze put all three of his brain cells) together for the second most daring prison break attempt they've ever attempted! - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - Even...

Deep in the belly of the Terran Flagship brig, our Bastards find themselves stripped of weapons and hope. ..Or at least that is what their captors are led to believe. Still in possession of the universal explosive remote- our trio starts planning their break out, and raising hell. Turns out, you can't easily disarm hope. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCa...

The skirmish rages on as Larkey's forces draw nearer to the castle - and the real fight flickers on the horizon. The Bastards have made their repairs, packed their bags, and the plan weaves between them as favors are called in and a small, sneaking surprise unfolds - like a tiny stone in one's shoe - as a peaceful surrender is placed right into Larkey's eager hands... Wonder what the catch is? Wat...

Every Bastard has made it to the Zarg Castle. They've had a few moments to reflect on their fragile mortality, and now they must prepare for the inevitable. Will it be a siege? Another betrayal? An all-out war? The way things have been going, it is hard to say for sure. But for now, this night, they are all together. Preparing their defenses, painting their projectiles, and calling in some favors...

The Bastards gather in the name of their fallen comrade, precariously balanced on the edge of survival, and the edge of their friendship with Clan Zarg. They've fought many battles together now- destroyed many fine places, crushed many frothy brews, but the revelation of Herodotus' deal fell hard. The stark truth of the Imperial Armada and a possible Kraw Alliance after all that has befallen. With...

Time is ticking, as the poison blooms. Dr. Ze has abandoned his Honey Boy shell, and is racing across the castle on the neck of the chemist. Herry is holding off the entire brute force of the castle army- and Clan Zarg is in disarray as the call for Trevor goes out.  It's a mad race to salvage life and limb, and as long as Herodotus can hold 'em off, there's hope for Dr. Ze to get the antidote in...

We left Herodotus and Dr. Ze lying in wait in the shopkeeper's inventory room. Ready to Trojan Horse their way into the castle under the disguise of the Kraw shopkeep himself, in an act of stealth. Cleo and Clan Zarg make merry in the town, flashing their selfie sticks, spilling Red Moon Worms, and raising their deep, deep cups. Hold vigil with us, listeners. For the Bastard in the box, The one on...

Picture if you will, a troupe of hardy adventurers geared in the sharpest armor, carrying secure packs of the most finely crafted weaponry- with minds tuned to one goal, one dream- one fight... They file out of their warship, ready to complete their mission. Prepared to finish this arcane task, having made peace with their gods and their clans. Serene in their readiness for the battle. Marching si...

Finally back in their own minds after a near spacewalk; our scrappy Bastards warp onward to Zarg Moon and their waiting allies. Here to see the land they mean to free, and meet the rest of the people that mean to free it- the crew drafts a plan, a PowerPoint, a couple hundred bombs - ... And an order of printed nametags? Quick! Somebody call a project manager- these idiots are organizing a WAR. -...

The Bastards are making their way... towards Firsnear, but it's a long ways to go. So the team kick back and enjoy a few road beers- until Dr. Ze starts getting a call, straight into his mind? Things aren't looking good for our Bastards. Unless Cleo can figure out how to save everyone, from themselves... - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van B...