Ayla and Potato3s: A Nightly Message From Your Best Friend

In this episode, I lean into my “golden era” and say yes to a pair of sparkly gold shoes I’d been wanting for years. I spend the day wandering stores, trying things on, updating my skincare and lashes, and thinking about how sometimes letting go of the old pair is really just making room for a brighter version of myself.

In this episode, I slow down and let myself take a real day off , skipping the gym, and realizing my body needed a bandaid more than a push. I talk about a mostly good day that still held tears, a surprising letter, a disappointing Chinese restaurant, and why I’m choosing to pause therapy for now because I need more protection than exposure

In this episode, I lean into “go with the flow”: a longer swim with my new goggles, an unexpected serenade and pickup-line in the sauna, and another small win on the pull-up bar. I also walk through redoing my “Color With Me” listing, sneaking in an impromptu movie (Project Hail Mary), and wrestling with what actually counts as “enough” for a full day.

In this episode, I share a bunch of little “odds and ends”: getting a 95 on my big assessment, a canceled gym class that turned into a much-shorter-than-planned swim, and realizing my arms are still recovering. I talk about rebuilding my coloring book and journal listings (including renaming “Create With Me” to “Color With Me” and retitling my 40-day journal), navigating odd gym-membership drama w...

In this episode, I share a soft, snack-filled kind of day: swimming laps until my arms ached, going to therapy, and then honoring my therapist’s advice to “take it easy” with a box of Triscuits and some supreme-pizza chips. I talk about my favorite comfort meal, tweaking my journals and book listings, and why the most freeing part of my retreat might have been not having to say “hi” to anyone unle...

In this episode, I kick off day one of my “13 months of yes” by finally joining AMC’s movie club, taking myself to see a film, getting my eyebrows done for the first time in years, and even buying myself a cookie. I also share the chaos of three separate Walmart trips, visiting my sister in the hospital, rethinking my book titles and listings, and the quiet excitement of slowly rebuilding my life...

In this episode, I’m back from my 10-day silent Vipassana retreat and trying to put words to an experience that was nothing like I expected. I share what it was like to wake up at 4 a.m., navigate long hours of meditation, and even become the accidental “snake hero” who calmly swept a surprise visitor out of the meditation hall

Content warning: This episode includes mention of suicidal thoughts and a situation where someone was planning to end their life. Please take care of yourself while listening Reminder: I am out of town until March 22nd In this episode, I reflect on “acts of kindness,” the ones I offer and the ones I receive. I talk about buying my friend a jacket she casually mentioned, finding out it literally ga...

In this episode, I actually let myself have a true “day of rest” for spring break aka no school, no big projects, just finishing a fantasy novel, picking up my new Aurora body wash, and taking a nap that confused my sense of time. I also share some tension with my dad about my upcoming silent retreat, what it means to choose this time away anyway, and the small, practical ways I’m getting ready fo...

In this episode, I celebrate a little “spring break” energy: I finally finished and embedded my quiz on the website, turned in my big school assessment at 23:23, and officially entered a week with no classes on my plate. I talk about family dinner, a new baby niece on the way, soft plans for reading and resting, and what it feels like to have a day without a thousand things tugging at me.

In this episode, I share a day that didn’t go how I expected , no mentor meeting, no quiz finished , but still somehow moved things forward with new writing and quiet progress on my books. I also talk about being able to give back financially to friends the way others once showed up for me, and how those moments remind me I’m loved, provided for, and allowed to trust that things work out in their...

TW: This episode contains mention of disordered eating patterns and body image struggles. If this is something you’re navigating personally, please be gentle with yourself today. In this episode, I give a late-night life update: accidentally nocturnal sleep, long chats about how broken school systems feel, and the surprising urge to start writing a new book about my upcoming “13 months of yes.” I...

TW: brief mention of past suicidal ideation In this episode, I unpack a really heavy therapy day, realizing I’ve basically gone “low contact” with my mom while still living in the same house, and how that constant emotional monitoring wears on me. I talk about wanting my own space, wondering what my “best characteristic” actually is, and the tiny thread of hope that keeps me here: the thought that...

In this episode, I talk about literal growing pains : sore arms from the gym, stretching my comfort zone with a accidentally-launched Patreon, and an unexpectedly tender car conversation where my dad finally discovers my journals and books. I also unpack how it feels to crave pride and support in a family that doesn’t really “talk,” and why sharing my work with you feels safer than sharing it at h...

In this sleepy little episode, I talk about a discount Tuesday movie date with myself, a new “unicorn” crystal bracelet I picked up, and the quiet joy of having small things to look forward to again. I also share how I’m building a playful quiz/AI guide for my journals and podcast, and how, little by little, I’m starting to have more faith in myself , not just in everyone else.

In this episode, I share the spark of a new experiment I’m calling “13 months of yes,” inspired by Shonda Rhimes’ Year of Yes and my own habit of saying no to myself. I talk about DM’ing a Ford models manager on a whim, painting in a new style, planning future concerts and travel, and why learning to say ye s, to naps, opportunities, and my own soul , feels like inviting God and the universe to sa...

In this episode, I wander through a day that didn’t quite go as planned and ask what it means to move through life more methodically. I talk about wanting methodical motivation for my fitness, my routines, and even my emotions, and why these nightly voice notes feel like a sacred ritual I never want to give up

In this episode, I talk through the two extremes of my day: the joy of helping a stranger with her groceries and the quiet loneliness of realizing I no longer know how to treat myself or go out just for fun. I share the little chain of events that had to line up for that grocery-store “miracle,” how a year on a strict budget has reshaped my habits, and why it feels both good and a bit sad to notic...

I spent most of the day delaying, finally sat down and sent 17 press emails with subject line greetings like “Dear person who gets to decide what Oprah loves next” because I don’t believe in “to whom it may concern” and I never have. Episode 594 is about the mountain I made out of the molehill of sending emails, the fear of being chosen rather than failing, and why flirting is just friendly with i...

I went to the dentist, voted, got a spicy kolache when I always get regular and learned immediately that I do not need the spice, manifested my coloring book getting into Oprah’s Favorite Things on TikTok as a skit and every single person in the comments congratulated me like it already happened and maybe that’s not confusion, maybe that’s just people believing in me. Eric Dane passed away and it...

I went to the gym, set up my dad’s printer, wrote a Substack article I almost accidentally titled the same thing as my last one, rewrote protection affirmations because my brain caught the logical flaw in saying “I do not” to something I don’t want to invite back in, and decided I’m rewarding myself for going to the dentist tomorrow with a kolache and a chocolate glazed donut because that’s just g...

I saved over $1,000 today without spending a thing, found my razors at Dollar Tree after months of looking and bought three packs instead of one, test drove a Volkswagen Atlas that played “When You Say You Love Me” when I asked it what song it wanted me to know, and realized somewhere between the dealership and the dollar store that I’m more than meets the eye aka my own little transformer, and pe...

I painted two paintings, fangirled over green grapes at Aldi, accidentally recorded videos with no sound, and somehow ended up crying over a Reddit astrology reading that described my life so accurately it felt like being seen for the first time in a long time. The star card comes after the tower, and maybe all of 2025 was my tower , not one dramatic collapse but a few bricks at a time until one d...

I slept until 7pm on February 22nd and instead of apologizing for it, I’m calling it exactly what it was , a radical act of self-worth from someone who was taught her whole life that rest has to be earned. A message from a friend I didn’t expect, dumplings and mandarins, and a dream about deleting my whole book reminded me that 222 doesn’t have to look like a meditation , sometimes it looks like f...

I gave myself a weekend off, ended up sleeping until almost 2 pm , and somehow turned a Costco run with my sister into an unexpected solo adventure window shopping through the Galleria : Nordstrom, Valentino, Gucci, Lafayette 148, you name it. No budget, no plan, just me in a sparkly black shirt with a hole in the back of my pants, trying on orange puffer jackets and $26K crocodile Gucci bags like...