AwakenYou in Your Marriage

Send us Fan Mail What is going on when you can't stop thinking that they seem to be more interested in someone, or something, besides you? It's like a little spark that gets ignited by something they say or didn't say, or something they did or didn't do, and suddenly, there is a war going on in your head. "I feel cheated." In this week's episode, I discuss how to...

Send us Fan Mail After getting a 100% response to an Instagram story about how you don't understand why you can't do what you want to do in your marriage, I decided it was time to tackle the topic. What are some of the things you do instead of following through on what you want to do? Do any of these resonate? 🎯 Wait for them to show up in a way that makes you feel loved 🎯Nothing becau...

Send us Fan Mail There is nothing about you that isn't BOLD! You are vibrant, energetic and up for all of the BOLD life has to offer. Am I right about you? I have seen so many of you take bold steps in your life, from stepping out of your comfort zone by enrolling in dance classes to ending your relationship with that glass or two of wine you have at the end of your day to "take the edge...

Send us Fan Mail What if the unexplainable could be explained? ⁣ ⁣ What if actions you take that you have tried over and over to stop taking could be explained in a way that has you showing up in ways you've only dreamed of?⁣ ⁣ It could be that trauma might be between you and you showing up in your marriage the way you want.⁣ ⁣ This week I share how past trauma responses may have you blocked...

Send us Fan Mail I'm guessing you haven't considered grief an emotion you might be feeling when you think about your marriage. Maybe you'd describe it more as depressing, sad, lonely, and disappointing. This week I'd like you to reflect on the possibility that what you might be feeling is grief. Why would I ask you to do that? Because if you discover grief, things that seem con...

Send us Fan Mail Many of you have asked how coaching can help you, so this week I decided to record an episode where I share the top three positive outcomes of working together with me, your marriage coach. I have received SO MANY benefits from working with various coaches that I know I will never choose to go without my weekly mind cleaning. Our brains are sneaky; they like to tell us little lies...

Send us Fan Mail In AwakenYou, we get to the work of changing how you feel about your marriage without changing your spouse. It is the most rewarding life work I have ever done, and I love watching the transformation that people like you are going through to achieve marriages you never dreamed possible. In this week's episode, I share three ways we do this work, so listen in and discover part...

Send us Fan Mail Getting to the place where you know down to your core that you have the power to change your marriage WITHOUT changing your spouse is a journey that starts with disbelief.⁣ ⁣ Stage one is where we feel completely powerless to change our marital dynamic because we believe our happiness is in our spouse's hands. When they change, THAT is when we will be happy, it's a deep,...

Send us Fan Mail Do you feel a bit uninspired, bored, or indifferent when you think about your marriage? Does it feel like you're living with a roommate instead of someone who inspires you to live life to the fullest? ⁣ ⁣ Maybe you feel fully dependent on your spouse to make you feel good, or you may have swung to the other side of the pendulum and separated yourself into an independent relat...

Send us Fan Mail Each of us has different ways to create connection with others, but I think we don't know what that looks like a lot of times.⁣ ⁣ Maybe our ideas come from sitcoms, movies, books, parents, or the couple we see walking in the neighborhood.⁣ ⁣ I talk so much about connection in our marriages because it's the one thing I often hear people say they are lacking in their marri...

Send us Fan Mail This week I am celebrating AwakenYou in your marriage's first anniversary with a more detailed exploration of Episode One: How To Start Loving Yourself. I share four steps to the process of learning how to stop the behaviors that keep us from having a loving, honest, connected relationship with ourselves. In celebration, I am doing a giveaway, so listen and get yourself enter...

Send us Fan Mail An interesting thing happens to the story we tell about our marital relationship past when we find ourselves unhappy with our marriage's relational dynamic. Our memory changes. We go from joyous memories to bad memories, interesting huh? Nothing about our past relationship changes, only what we think of it. This week is the last in the divorce indicator series I have been hos...

Send us Fan Mail When it comes to how we handle conflict in our marriage, there is one ingredient you can start adding into the mix that can override the effect of harsh start-ups, criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling, or flooding. That special ingredient is the ability to attempt to repair the damage and accept an attempt at repair. In this week's episode, I help you begin the pr...

Send us Fan Mail Heading into spring with episode fifty-five and an interview with one of my AwakenYou in your marriage graduates, Alicia Castaneda. Alicia shares what she achieved, and her next steps, in AwakenYou and how it has changed her already successful life and partnership. They just celebrated four years together after she thought they only had two months left together a year ago. Enjoy t...

Send us Fan Mail ⁣Have you ever tried to be nice to someone when you're completely annoyed with them? How did that work out? I'll guess that it didn't work out all that great. Maybe it put off a conflict that might have ended poorly, but actions of "nice" speak way differently when they come from annoyance than they do from content or empathy. This could be why your partne...

Send us Fan Mail Unlike the stonewalling I talked about in last week's episode, emotional flooding is an involuntary response where the nervous system shuts down because you are overwhelmed with emotions. Both end in marital disconnection, while stonewalling is more deliberate and flooding is a sympathetic nervous system response. This week discover the third sign that your marriage might be...

Send us Fan Mail Is your spouse actually listening to what you say, or have they shut you out? Do they (or you): • pick up their phone while you are talking to them • change the subject to something off-topic • turn away • get up and leave • defend themselves in an attempt to end the conversation • spend lots of time away from the home avoiding conversation If you said "'yes" to any...

Send us Fan Mail "Could you help me come up with something fun to do for our anniversary?" "Any time I come up with ideas, you don't like them, so I'm done contributing." Defensiveness in your marriage shows up when you don't hear what your partner is saying, so instead, you throw out a comment that deflects the original comment. You hear an attack on your charac...

Send us Fan Mail If you've been curious about how working through my AwakenYou in your marriage program can change your life, this week's interview with my client Arlene Mojica will help shed some light. As you listen to this interview, what you will hear over and over is Arlene's belief in how the program could change her life. Her belief in something she didn't even realize s...

Send us Fan Mail If you and your partner are super planners, then I am sending you a high-five; nice work on creating conversations where your future life together matters. I've discovered with my clients who aren't taking their future into their own hands that they are waiting for their partner to do it for them and then resenting them when they don't. If you are the planner, then...

Send us Fan Mail ⁣⁣Would you recognize if you were acting contemptuously towards your spouse? Check out these three examples of contempt where you are placing yourself in a more "superior" position than your partner:⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ "How would you like it if I did that to you?"⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ "I'd never do to you!"⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ "I'm not THAT bad."⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Most of us might know th...

Send us Fan Mail Have you ever wondered what you will think about your marriage when you get to the end of your life? Will you look back and smile at all of the love you created, all of the uncomfortable things you did to build the relationship of your dreams, or will you look back in regret over all of the love you missed out on? This week on the podcast, I share my end-of-year reflections, my 20...

Send us Fan Mail Many of us have stopped bringing up "touchy" topics with our partners because it creates conflict and unresolved anger, and it feels awful and gets us nowhere.⠀ ⠀ What if you discovered a different way to approach what is bothering you in your marriage, a way that would actually bring some discussion and understanding between the two of you? ⠀ ⠀ Would you be willing to t...

Send us Fan Mail When we feel annoyed or frustrated with our partner, how we express our feelings determines whether we can let go of the disappointment or stay stuck in it. The secret to moving forward while getting to know each other better is how you approach what is bothering you. If you find yourself continually frustrated with your partner, this week's episode will shine some light on h...

Send us Fan Mail There are seven predictors that can help you see if your relationship is headed towards divorce. If your marital conflict discussions contain six of them, your marriage is predicted to last 5-6 years. If your marital conflict discussions don't contain these six divorce predictors, but your relationship does contain the seventh, it could take SIXTEEN years for that divorce to...