Attitudes/Answers with Olen Baker

You've heard it; actions speak louder than words.  Your behavior defines who you are, not your words.  And for your kids, your behavior is being watched closely by them.  Don't tell them, show them HOW life should be done.

Admit it, you have acted irresponsible from time to time.  It's okay, IF you understand that accountability isn't always an easy path, but it is always necessary to build character and integrity.  It's no different when dealing with your kids.  Teach accountability and the rest of life will fall into place for them, in a good way.

You can yell all you want, but one thing will help your child make a change.  It's called, "accountability".  That one word helps a child build character and self-esteem.  

What is it called?  Foot in Mouth, speaking before thinking?  Any way you wrap it, angry words can get you into a world of trouble.  If counting to 10 doesn't work, try taking to God.  

Sure, you can sidestep a mistake, but you will most likely make that mistake over and over.  Accountability is a tough pill to take.  But unless you take accountability for your actions and results, you will never get on a better path.  You are you.  You will make mistakes. 

Excuses, the first line of defense for failure.  Instead of opening your mouth, spend time with God and let Him chart a path that brings you to a better place.  The truth always works.

Not if, but when.  We all experience failure in life, sometimes more than just once.  We might not be able to see a reason to get back up, but God does.  Don't rely on just your feelings.  Allow God to give an assist.  He will do that.

Acccountability is tough.  You have to look in the mirror and accept what you see.  Being accountable is the pathway to integrity and healing.  Not an easy task, but always necessary.

The Apostle Paul said, when I was a child, I talked like a child.  When I became a man, I put childlsh ways behind me.  Okay, so you're still that child inside.  Problem is, it's time to grow up.  Ask God for the courage to make that change, today.

Broken relationships are tough.  What's even tougher is getting the other person to accept responsibility (partial or full) for what happened.  God washes us clean with His forgivness.  Can you do the same for someone you're having trouble with?

Yeah, the honeymoon is over, now comes the reality of life. One word, comprimise, will help give birth to that lasting bond you pledged to each other on day one.  Rather than look at the other person, take a look at who you are.  Then, take a second look at who you are, together.

Hatred is powerful and it can and will destroy you and others in your path.  Hatred is darkness and destruction.  God is forgivness and healing.  If that's where you're at, take a moment and have a conversation with God, today.

Yeah, your kids are suffering more than you, more than you know.  They are innocent victims of your conflict, sometimes used as tools against the other parent.  Do not forget how important it is to make sure they are taken care of emotionally, as well.  You are still a parent, married or divorced, and it's still your responsibility.

Kids are many times, neglected when conflict comes their way.  A divorce or family situation that is living chaos.  Kids experience the same grief as adults.  If that's your situation right now, make sure you connect with them and help them through the process.  

You can't make an apology happen by demanding it.  You should never suppress your feelings.  Even when you're the victim, approach the issue as a peacemaker, not the aggressor.  God will help you get there.

The short answer is yes, every time.  The way to healing is by YOU being part of the process.  It's not the wave of aa magic wand, but more of a collaboration with God that brings healing.  YOU are part of the process.

So, how is your attitude right now?  If it's fighting words, those words will only destroy any opportunity to repair the relationship.  Accept the fact that you are part of the conflict and that until you are willing to hear what the other side has to say, your relationship will remain broken and stuck.  Do the right thing, today.

Truth, tempered with compassion give both sides a chance to come closer together in a dispute solution.  Stop talking and start listening.  God will give you the words of response, everytime.

How do you block communication?  Body language, silence, agressive responses.  Mutual understanding is never easy, but always necessary in any relationship.

The blame game.  We all play it at times.  God can help us get out of that rut.  Listen and learn.

Okay, things have to change, and that means YOU.  It's a tough place to go, but to heal and move forward, you must do that first.

Politics, religion, whatever comes between two people, doesn't mean that harmony can't be regained.  Not a great place to be.  Let's help you get there.

You have expectations, but what you need are, realistic expectations.  Search your heart.  Have a conversation with God.  But don't be the barrier to resolution.  

You might not see this at the moment, but a crisis for healing the wounds from the past.  Ask God to help you see what's possible.  Only He can completely understand from an unbiased position.  

Are you capable of showing remorse and repentance?  God can help you heal, but healing starts first, with you.