Andy Stanton & Carrie Quinlan
Ask The Nincompoops
A riotously funny all-ages podcast where Andy Stanton (author of the Mr Gum books, extremely bright) and Carrie Quinlan (of Radio 4, also extremely bright) allow children (not bright) to ask any questions that they want the answers to. Who invented cheese? What are trees for and why are they everywhere? What’s the opposite of a kettle? Using their immense brains, Andy and Carrie will answer the questions your children ask. The only catch? They’ll do it very, very badly. Reviewers call the show ‘amazing,” ‘so good”, and “the best podcast on Planet Earth.” Picked as one of the BEST PODCASTS...
Be sure to visit the podcast's website and support the creator: twitter.com
Author
Andy Stanton & Carrie Quinlan
Category
Podcast website
Latest episode
Oct 24, 2026
Where to listen?
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Android almost 10M downloads · 4.8 rating
iOS soon
Episodes
Term 4 Lesson 8: Why Is The Sea Saltwater? 24.10.2026 10:06
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions...
Term 4 Lesson 7: Do Clouds Have Feelings? 17.10.2026 13:07
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions...
Term 4 Lesson 6: Why Are There Speed Limits? 10.10.2026 11:36
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions...
Term 4 Lesson 5: Who Invented Food? 03.10.2026 11:02
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions...
Term 4 Lesson 4: What Is Concrete Made Of? 26.09.2026 11:55
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions...
Term 4 Lesson 3: Why and How Do We Exist? 19.09.2026 11:30
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
Term 4 Lesson 2: Who Invented Love? 12.09.2026 15:15
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
Term 4 Lesson 1: Why Don't Trees Grow On Trees? 05.09.2026 10:52
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS are back AND NEED YOUR QUESTIONS! 14.05.2026 0:58
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
Term 3 Lesson 15: Do Rocks and Pebbles Taste Nice? 09.12.2023 19:11
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
Term 3 Lesson 14: Why Do Flamingos Stand On One Leg? 02.12.2023 22:10
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
Term 3, Lesson 13: Why Are Sprouts Disgusting? 25.11.2023 20:30
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
Term 3 Lesson 12: What Is The World Made Of? 18.11.2023 21:52
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
Term 3, Lesson 11: Where Does All The Poo In The World End Up? 11.11.2023 23:12
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
Term 3, Lesson 10: Who Invented The Door? 03.11.2023 21:24
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
Term 3, Lesson 9 : Why Do Horsemen Have Babies? 28.10.2023 21:11
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
Term 3, Lesson 8: How Do You Make Scrambled Eggs? 21.10.2023 20:56
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
Term 3, Lesson 7: Who Invented Ketchup? 14.10.2023 20:32
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
Term 3, Lesson 6: How Long Have You Been Doing This? 07.10.2023 20:03
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
Term 3, Lesson 5: How Big Was The World’s Biggest Crisp Ever? 30.09.2023 19:57
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
Term 3, Lesson 4: Why Do Speakers Make Music Loud? 23.09.2023 20:01
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
Term 3, Lesson 3: Who Invented Cricket? 16.09.2023 23:03
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
Term 3, Lesson 2: Why Do Adults Drink Horrible Things Like Coffee? 09.09.2023 20:20
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
Term 3, Lesson 1: Why Is Water See-Through? 02.09.2023 21:26
Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP K...
ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS ARE BACK! 25.08.2023 0:30
Ask The Nincompoops are BACK! And they're going to STAY BEING BACK! What are you doing on Saturday mornings? Well from now on, you're being EDUMACATED. From next week, there'll be a new episode every Saturday morning when you wake up (unless you wake up at 3am - it won't be ready at that time. You also might need to see a sleep specialist). And there's a brand new live show coming to London soon t...
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