Ask Nathan- by How to be Second

Nathan unpacks the concept of the 9 Box,  a framework for understanding the nuance of complexity and quality. Tony Ticknor and Nathan devised the 9 Box of Quality and Complexity at a time when they were both using the same words to describe the work that they did, while meaning wildly different things, and needing to make sense of that so they didn’t go insane. This conversation explores why bigge...

Nathan and Samantha unpack the launch of The Guide System, a one-to-one, human-first way for Seconds to stay connected, supported, and anchored as they navigate life, work and community. They explore why “going together” has become a core value at How to be Second and  along the way, they dig into owning your value, resisting isolation, and why real community means being connected to each other. H...

Nathan and Samantha dig into what actually creates trust between a First and a Second, arguing it’s less about systems and more about consistent, unstructured time together like random phone calls, walks, and conversations without an agenda. From there, they explore how tools like work appreciation languages and weekly alignment meetings add clarity, but only after a real human foundation is built...

Nathan challenges the way Seconds see competence, unpacking why a 6 out of 10 might secretly put you in the top 10%, and how knowing what “10” looks like can become a line of shame instead of a strength. Nathan and Samantha talk about how deep awareness can skew self-perception, reframing imposter syndrome as feeling “gaslit” by praise. Along the way, they rethink confidence, competition, and why...

Nathan digs into the tension many Seconds feel about being a generalist in a world that claims to value specialists. He shares the phrase he’s been using, “I am an expert generalist with a few developed specialties.” and explains why the real key isn’t a perfect elevator pitch but getting into a genuine conversation where stories and lived experience reveal the breadth of what generalists bring. ...

What is the difference between talent and skill? Nathan lays out his four-part formula for skill: talent, practice, technique, and “war” (battle-tested experience). He argues that raw talent alone won’t cut it, and why going it alone is a losing strategy. The throughline? Go together, get a coach, and take more shots than feels comfortable.  Hey, this is Nathan Young, founder and author of How to...

What Does Ownership Really Mean? This question quickly turns into a conversation about ownership, stewardship, and the missing words that help to bridge the gap between the two concepts. From examples of his own lived experience, Nathan works through the literal and unspoken nuances of ownership, and what that can mean in the relationship of a First and Second.  Hey, this is Nathan Young, founder...

What Do Words Really Mean? Nathan discusses how blurry words create real damage. From separating leadership from authority, to dismantling the myth of “average,” Nathan reflects on the concepts he’d add to How to Be Second after years of conversation and lived experience.  Hey, this is Nathan Young, founder and author of How to be Second, and this is Ask Nathan, where I answer questions about bein...

What is Ask Nathan? Nathan unpacks the heart behind the Ask Nathan podcast by exploring why questions, rather than scripts, are the fuel that brings his thinking to life. He also outlines his hopes for the show, like helping seconds articulate their value and inviting more voices into a conversation that’s always been bigger than one person.  Hey, this is Nathan Young, founder and author of How to...