Ask My Daddy

Daddy is back with some Scotch gulping starting out with a good bit o' banter about nothing... This intro may be a bit long but I had to take advantage of Mr Schwastey pants so there’s no way we go into poop nuggets, hmmm… Daddy is “hot to trot” tonight, yay! Then we (finally) get to the nitty gritty of the question which is a DOOZY - but it is a choose your own adventure. Daddy chooses - dru...

We are twinsies in this episode (check out our Facebook page to see why!), so hope y’all are ready for double the trouble! I think it may be my turn to be schwastey pants. Woo doggy - I slur a little and find it hard to say expiration date BUT I had lots more questions about the shit you don’t think would expire and shit that has expiration dates that don’t need ‘em. What’s all the verbiage about...

The intro is LONG but necessary because my Daddy is in RARE form for this episode and I need y’all to be a witness to this schwastey mess… He gets so off the rails, I have to take away his bourbon, which NEVER happens because he’s a professional, ya know? We eventually get right into the origin or history (maybe both) of Mike Lindell, better known as the Pillow Guy! But is he full of shit (farts a...

It may take a minute to get through the Wordle trauma BUT we be talking about hot men wearing fire panties! Phew, I am trying to cool down and my daddy is just warming up… Firehouse stations and firehouse subs - what is the difference? The smell cuz we love pickle bucket smells, mmmm good! OMG I have no idea if BC comes before AD - history is NOT my thang. ACBC or ACDC WTF ever in Antarctica… Ther...

Y’all might not be ready for the LEVEL of excitement from my daddy, but we are diving right into WORDLE! Or it may take a minute for us to get there… Shoes optional.. And apparently Wordle ain’t woke - say what?? We are going into the love story of Wordle, its birth and evolution to the game A LOT of Wordle Nerdlers enjoy playing every single fucking day. How many total five letter words are in ou...

Double time rapid fire bishes; Tall hot blondes THB brunettes redheads - aka Ariel or gingers or wtf or Bette Midler, hold on what was her name again?? We be edu-tainment with dangerous answers now that we are 10 minutes in at least!!! I don’t know what is behind us but sounds scary! Has daddy ever ridden in an Uber - he don’t know, I know and now you’ll know but I won’t spoil it… sip sip gulp gul...

It feels GOOD to be back in the podcast lab with my Daddy! Back from vacay all refreshed and shit. And man is this a gut BUSTER!! We are talking about the big scary boxes on the interstate and why they have to be weighed in public (briefly). You all know how we do with stupid fucking tangents - we love them! Horn and air pressure tanks that can fuck up the brakes - what the actual fuck? Can’t wast...

Starting off on a tangent - Happy Birthday bro! Plus, daddy data, tattoos and stanky pheromones! However, this episode is not about any of that, duh.. Who knew that daddy was hip to what G.O.A.T. means? Not this daughter, but we get into some of the greatest of all time scientists - some facts, some funnies and a lot of entertainment including Ubers and Ubers of goobers! Some mishaps and mispronun...

Does the angle of the dangle have anything to do with three hands and the boom of the Hindenburg? We shall see, but my guess is no… We dive right in to an OG question - why did the Hindenburg go BOOM? Not sure we get a firm answer but we definitely get an “Ask My Daddy” answer! We eventually talk about how/why/wtf happened to the Hindenburg, so stick with us. Should the next question be, are Droid...

Ooooh the reversi sursi is a true rapid fire question session that is at Papa Joel’s speed so is it really rapid fire? No, BUT this is going to get us back on track with some opposite of speed bumps, whatever that may be.  Gotta listen to find out.  BUT we do some shoutouts and call outs cuz I’m the data digger - HENRY. Do airline attendants still offer: “Coffee tea or me?” What the?! There’s real...

This episode was slated to be a rapid fire question episode BUT you never know how shit is gonna go down - so it is NOT a Joel speed inquiry. Instead, this non-rapid(-ish) fire question episode takes a hard left turn to just ONE question: How many tractors and cars has my daddy driven? Well, how many tractors are there in the world because it seems like that’s the answer. We get all confused going...

Rock Hard Crabs somehow instigate a conversation about invisible rainbows and vibration parties. We learn dot gov websites are legit cuz that is the interwebs.. Duh! Crabs are gross shedding their eyeballs but how do they replenish what they molt.. And did you know that crabs have gills, wtf? We all know now. Crabs are little calcium factories - what in the world?! We explore calcium carbonate and...

LISTENER QUESTION! Yes, we do take questions from our listeners so keep sending them in!! Why the fuck are yawns contagious? Just talking about yawns makes us yawn - the human brain is cray, y’all. We take this question with mouths open wide - for alcohol, lots of alcohol. We figure out we are the opposite of psychopaths because we yawn so much and there’s no psycho kitties in this household! Ther...

Alright y’all we got a battle of veshies or veggies, wtf ever, it really doesn’t matter. We go DEEP (exaggeration) into beets (aka vulgar betas) and radishes (aka rap anus). And then the unexpected happens -  XYZ, PQR - er mah gawd who doesn’t know what XYZ means? Probably someone who grew up in the 50’s and 60’s *shrug emoji* I have never grown either, maybe ate one or the other, but daddy comes...

My daddy has too many of his intelligables in this episode, but he’s still funny as shit. We address a listener question weaved in with tips of cars, tricks in cars? What? Kids are cheap, at least when it comes to bleeding brakes and doing other mundane car maintenance. How many miles can you go between oil changes, tire changes, brake changes. What’s a hubby’s purpose? Car shit per daddy- guess i...

Lucky number 13 and Daddy knows that cuz he’s a peeker and a cheater, but I love him! When you’re a chemist, any place can be your lab, including your home. WTF is liniment and can we make it at home? Yes and no, sometimes maybe… Dooly wads that go along with extrasensual blah blah blah - I can’t even spell what my daddy said. We go from not making homemade shit to massages to hollow candles that...

Time for another rapid fire session with my daddy! What a treat this variety of bullshit questions will be to your ears, a mixed bag from my brain and listener brains. We talk about left threads, right threads - lefty tighty, righty loosey. Only homemade pants can have an odd number of pockets - really? Tit for tat pet competition ensues, as well - pony owners always win, especially when they carr...

We all need emergency radios so we can get to the Hammers! Aka amateur radio people that are licensed by the FCC with call signs, not call girls by the way…  Can daddy see into my brain? And know that I have no fucking clue what he’s talking about - rainbows and shit.. I mean, I love rainbows - good vibes only.  We find out that daddy loves loves loves humpback whales! Short waves, long waves, I d...

We are talking about pipes in this episode, not dicks.. Just regular degular house pipes. Heavy pipes don’t make a house fall down or would they fall like Legos without glue? Nothing needs support these days or maybe that is just how builders think. Low pressure high pressure - what’s the big deal with supercooling water and living in the South? No variety of pipes ‘round here. Big bad werewolf bl...

Tesla relates to remotes, who knew? My daddy, the Chemist, duh! Do we have lazy bones or do we just need a “space command”? Maybe, but we will briefly brush across the history of a remote controller as I try to wrangle this scientist's brain to stay on track. How long have we been lazy ass fucks, needing these plastic pieces of shit to control our entertainment? A long time, it turns out. And...

We are back bitches with a full ass episode! An example of good Daddy advice - it’s always best to stay above room temperature aka you don’t want to reach equilibrium. Pretty much everything has an expiration date, ours are just unknown… Another item that has a hard to decipher expiration date, salt! Does salt need an expiration date? What does salt have to do with Julius Cesar? We bring all of th...

What do you do when the daughter loses a whole recording of an episode that is supposed to drop in 24 hours?? You put a mish mash of shit together to give peeps a glimpse into behind the scenes of creating a podcast, along with some funny outtakes and recording of friends and family. Please accept my sincerest apology for my fuck up, but hope I can still bring some laughs. Next full ass episode to...

How can we avoid a bomb or melt down in the microwave? Be careful what you put in the HASHTAG Radar Range (aka WTF)! We get the breakdown of what microwaves do and the secret test we can do to make sure the container we put in there is safe for us, the food and the appliance. Of course we had to sprinkle in some tangents because that is what daddy does best! Hashtag rate and review wherever you&ap...

What do you get when you have a shit ton of questions with reasonably short answers? Well, with my daddy, you get more questions and just as long an episode as if we were answering ONE question. We have listener questions galore and tons of opinions that will make us all smell good. I hope everyone enjoys this episode as much as we did! Hashtag rate and review wherever you're listening! Find...

Long and strong, our longest episode yet but definitely worth the time! Can we talk about everything related to water? Yes, the answer is yes because water relates to the whole universe. Nitrogen talk, yes; pizza agents, yes; cocaine talk, sure; Wordle - why the fuck not! Water is everywhere… Really showcases why I wanted to start this podcast with classic daddy ramblings full of facts so you get...