Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

Dr. Lisa runs down the five things she believes parents should focus on in summer 2022. The pandemic narrowed kids' opportunities for growth, but there's now a lot adults can do to help children and teenagers catch up. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss advice that might seem counterintuitive - such as the importance of encouraging kids to take some risks. Dr. Lisa’s Summer Resources 50 Risks to Take With...

How should you respond when your kids are mean to you? What’s age-appropriate behavior and what should not be tolerated? Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack why kids lash out and what’s behind the outbursts. How do you know when hormones are the cause or when it’s something else? Dr. Lisa has advice on how to create a safe space for kids at home that allows them to work through their frustrations but also t...

How much should we shield our kids from risk? And how much should we go out of our way to make their lives more comfortable? Dr. Lisa explains the importance of fostering independence and encouraging our children to take safe risks. Reena asks if we should try to make our kids' lives easier when we can, especially given all that they have gone through in the pandemic. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss ho...

What causes a child or teenager to become suicidal? What steps can be taken to prevent suicide? Dr. Jonathan B. Singer co-author of Suicide in Schools: A Practitioner's Guide to Multi-level Prevention, Assessment, Intervention, and Postvention joins the Ask Lisa podcast to answer questions from parents. Dr. Lisa and Reena ask about warning signs, whether peers can promote suicidal thoughts, when t...

A parent writes in asking how to pick up the pieces after her daughter shared a nude selfie with a boyfriend who then sent it to other boys at school. Dr. Lisa and Reena talk about how impulsive moments can lead to serious consequences, what can be done to make things right, and the legal implications of sharing nude photos. The episode also addresses what to say to kids about requesting, sending,...

Getting kids to do things without hounding them can seem impossible. This week the Ask Lisa Podcast presents an encore episode on nagging. At what age should kids be expected to manage their responsibilities without constant reminders? Dr. Lisa explains how parents can help kids remember to do things on their own. What else works besides nagging? Reena asks for strategies to help parents at home....

How do you deal with grief and explain death to your kids? Knowing that you are losing a parent is difficult but how do you also help your kids process what will be coming? Dr. Lisa explains what kids need at different ages when processing grief and answers a parent’s question on how often kids should visit dying grandparents. Reena asks where parents are most likely to miss the mark when dealing...

Not getting into desired colleges can be devastating for teens and their parents. How can you help your child move past what feels like a major life setback? Dr. Lisa provides language that might be helpful in navigating this delicate moment. What do you say to friends and neighbors who put teens or their parents in an uncomfortable spot? Reena asks how you can help teens deal with feeling disappo...

A parent writes in that her teen sent a group text to his classmates that contained racial and homophobic slurs about another kid. He thought he was being funny, but quickly realized that his classmates didn't agree. The boy and his parents understand that there's a price to pay for his actions, but his mom worries that he may be canceled. Dr. Lisa walks us through the long road ahead to try to ma...

A parent discovers an alarming text about a classmate on her kid's phone and wonders if she should confront her child. How do you address text messages that you were not meant to see? Dr. Lisa walks us though how to weigh your child's safety with the need to build trust. When should you tell a fellow parent if you have intel on their child? Reena wonders why you shouldn’t just pick up the phone an...

How do you teach kids about justice and fairness? Special Guest Preet Bharara joins the Ask Lisa Podcast to discuss his new children's book, Justice Is...A Guide for Young Truth Seekers. The conversation addresses the many ways adults can inspire young people to fight injustice and defend the truth. Dr. Lisa and Reena ask Preet, a former U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, about h...

Why do kids suddenly turn on their friends and ice them out of a group? It’s something Dr. Lisa says she's been hearing about more often. Kids need shared interests to hold their groups together and that "social glue" has been depleted by the pandemic. We take a look at how negative behavior can emerge among friends and become destructive. Reena asks if adults should call out mean girl behavior or...

A dad writes in asking if it's okay to celebrate his daughter’s appearance and how this might help, or hurt, her self-confidence. How do we help kids feel good about themselves and their bodies, especially when they are bombarded by images on social media that have them worried about their looks? Dr. Lisa and Reena talk about when it's okay to talk about appearance, when it's best to say nothing,...

Nobody likes being lied to, especially by our own children. Why do kids lie? Dr. Lisa looks at lying from a developmental standpoint and points out that when a child asks for more privacy, it doesn't necessarily mean they’re doing something sneaky. But when a child does lie, how should a parent respond? Dr. Lisa explains the difference between a child feeling appropriately guilty, and a child bein...

A step-parent asks for Dr. Lisa’s help as she finds herself parenting three kids under eight, two of them step-children. Should step-parents discipline differently? Dr. Lisa talks about what parents can do to keep kids from feeling stuck in a loyalty conflict between their parent and step-parent. Reena asks about common mistakes step-parents make when forming a relationship with step-kids. Dr. Lis...

A parent from Connecticut wants to know if it’s acceptable for her teen to spend the night at her boyfriend’s house. How should parents approach a conversation like this one? What do you do if your values are not the same as other parents'? The Dutch approach teen romance very differently than Americans do. Dr. Lisa explains the cross-cultural research on teens and sex. Reena asks how to move beyo...

No one wants to be that nagging parent. Dr. Lisa explains how the trickiest transition in parenting might be when nagging no longer works with your teen. At these times, is bribing a good strategy? Dr. Lisa walks us through different approaches to motivating kids and how to respond when they reflexively say "no." Reena and Lisa discuss when it might make sense to bribe a teen to get better grades....

What are the signs a teen is suffering from depression and needs help? Dr. Lisa explains what you need to watch for. Reena asks what parents should do if their teen refuses help, and how parents can bring up therapy without making a teen feel worse. Lisa explains that teens often worry that they are broken - a narrative that needs to be considered when offering help. Dr. Lisa explains how she foun...

How do you build confidence in kids? How do you lay the groundwork for better self-esteem? What age does confidence start to plummet in girls? Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle these questions, explain where self-esteem comes from, and cover how parents can help children feel good about themselves in this encore episode.  Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @...

Three-time Olympian and mom of three, Lauren Regula joins Dr. Lisa and Reena to talk about what kids should really be getting out of athletics. How do you help kids make the most of their sports? Lauren explains why she doesn't put her kids in the most competitive sports leagues. She also shares the one question she asks her kids every night to help them grow in sports and life.  Follow us on Inst...

What’s the best way to help boost mental health in 2022? Dr. Lisa walks us through her five mental health resolutions for the new year. Reena asks how we can rethink mental wellness for ourselves and our families while continuing to navigate the pandemic. Some unexpected parenting inspiration comes from the words of Winston Churchill.  Dr. Lisa’s Resource Recommendations The Power of a Positive No...

This week we present an encore episode of one of our top performing shows. American singer Billi Eilish recently spoke about the devastating effects porn had on her when she was exposed at eleven. Dr. Lisa explains how parents can start a conversation about porn and why it’s so important to talk to your kids about it. Reena asks what’s the right age to have that talk.  Articles: Lisa's NYT article...

As divorce numbers rise in the pandemic, we take a closer look at how divorce affects children. Dr. Lisa walks us through how children at different ages process their parents' separation. How can parents make the transition easier? Reena asks how do you make it work when you can’t stand your ex? Lisa details how couples who no longer want to be married can still work together as effective co-paren...

What if your child is the one who is hurting other kids feelings at school? A concerned mom discovers that her daughter, who has been struggling socially, is pushing peers away by being too critical. She turns to Dr. Lisa for advice on how to get her middle school daughter to become more self-aware and tolerant.  Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @R...

How do you know if your child has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)? A parent writes in worried about her daughter’s compulsive behavior and anxiety around germs. Dr. Lisa describes OCD, how it takes hold, when it's time to worry, and what parents should do if they are concerned that their child might suffer from it. Reena asks about the power of rituals and what parents can do to help their kid...