Jessica Fern and David Cooley

Ask Jess and Dave

Education EN ↓ 6 episodes

Ask Jess & Dave is the show where nothing's too awkward, too messy, or too human to unpack. Whether you're navigating love, healing old wounds, or just trying to figure yourself out — Jess and Dave are here to tackle your burning questions about love, healing, and the beautiful chaos of becoming a better you. No judgment. No jargon. Just honest conversation, a few laughs, and maybe the insight you didn't know you were looking for.

Author

Jessica Fern and David Cooley

Episodes

Ask J&D Episode 6: Navigating Asymmetry In Poly/ENM Dynamics 04.07.2026 36:32

Opening a relationship doesn't always unfold equally, and that imbalance can put enormous pressure on both partners. One of you is thriving, meeting people, exploring. The other is waiting, wondering, and doesn't yet know if they even want this—because they haven't really had the chance to find out. It's one of the most common and least talked-about growing pains in ENM and polyamo...

Ask J&D Episode 5: When An Anxious & An Avoidant Partner Keep Triggering Each Other 24.06.2026 40:08

What if doing the work isn't enough? For anxious-avoidant couples, individual healing can only go so far. Because the trigger isn't just inside you — it's in the space between you. In Episode 5 of The Ask Jess & Dave Show, Jess & Dave get into the deeper mechanics of why the anxious-avoidant dance persists even when both partners are self-aware, growth-oriented, and genuinely t...

Ask J&D Episode 4: Poly-curious or Relationship Avoidant? 15.06.2026 32:08

How do you know if someone is genuinely polyamorous — or just looking for a way out? Because here's the thing: when done with real integrity, opening a relationship doesn't shed obligations — it adds them. It implies more accountability. More transparency. More reassurance. More of the unglamorous, unsexy labor of loving people well. So if someone's vision of "more love" some...

Ask J&D Episode 3: Is a sexless marriage unhealthy — especially for your nervous system? 15.06.2026 28:00

In Episode 3 of The Ask Jess & Dave Show, we explore one of the most quietly painful and under-discussed dynamics in long-term relationships. Because the real question isn't just about sex — it's about what the absence of it means. Is it a conscious, mutual choice? Or is it a symptom of something deeper — emotional disconnection, relational neglect, not feeling seen, heard, or understo...

Ask J&D Episode 2: Disagreeing on the Facts/Making Negative Assumptions 15.06.2026 29:22

Do you and your partner keep fighting about the same things — and can't even agree on what actually happened? Or maybe someone in the relationship keeps assuming they know exactly what their partner thinks or feels, and no amount of "that's not true" seems to change it. In Episode 2 of The Ask Jess & Dave Show, we're getting into two of the most stuck-feeling dynamics in...

Ask J&D Episode 1: Criticism In Relationship 15.06.2026 33:43

In this first episode of Ask Jess and Dave, we dig into the question: What is criticism really doing in a relationship? Not as a communication style to be managed or a bad habit to be curbed, but as a signal — a warning sign pointing toward deeper dynamics that are asking for awareness, understanding, and care. Drawing on our combined clinical and lived experience, we explore what life actually lo...