Ask Christopher West

Questions answered this episode: I’ve always heard that as long as the sexual union ends in intercourse anything goes but I’ve never heard any guidance on what happens next and what could be considered masturbation in marriage. Do you have any guidance? Are boudoir photoshoots immoral? I’d like to go deeper into the topic of chastity. Which book would you recommend? Ask Christopher West is a weekl...

Questions answered this episode: Would there have been dating and discernment of marriage in the garden before the fall? I’m a young woman soon to be engaged. Before I started dating the man I’m currently with, I had sexual encounters with 2 other guys. He is aware of the first but not the second. Do you have any advice? Why is the word “until” in the verse “He had no relations with her until she...

Questions answered this episode: What happens to children and infants in the Second Coming? My husband and I have been married for over a year. He’s in his early 50’s and I’m in my early 40’s. Even though we’ve been married for a year, we still haven’t had intercourse because of my husband’s sexual trauma. What would you recommend for our healing? As a future high school English teacher, what are...

Questions answered this episode: I struggle with comparison. I feel like I don’t have the joy that other christians have. This makes me wonder why I feel like I should have more than what the Lord has already given to me. Why do I think I’m so special as to receive more? If there was no original sin, could we still feel pain in our bodies? I’m a wife & mother. For a while I’ve been feeling res...

Questions answered this episode: What does TOB have to say about folks whose natural personality don’t always line up with archetypes of male and female? I’m in a relationship with a man who is in active recovery from sexual addiction. How can I support him as his girlfriend? What led you (Christopher) to return from protestantism to Catholicism? Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which T...

Questions answered this episode: Does striving to live out TOB affect the decisions we make for our pet’s fertility? My mother recently had a surgery that required a hysterectomy. This brings about sadness even though she was already past child bearing years. Does TOB have any insights into this? I’m due with my second child very soon. I feel there’s minimal talk around birthing in Catholic circle...

Questions answered this episode: I’m a young woman happily dating a catholic man. The thought of having times of abstinence in marriage is a little sad. Could you speak on the beauty of abstinence? Is the ability to be physically intimate even in times of abstinence without it leading to intercourse something that is learned only in marriage? Is this something that can be learned as an engaged cou...

Questions answered this episode: What are some examples redirecting our desire (eros) in everyday life? Is there anything inherently wrong with sleeping in the same bed as a long distance girlfriend when we visit each other? Is the near occasion of sin still a sin if I don’t end up sinning? Where is this quote by John Paul II from: “It is the duty of every man to uphold the dignity of every woman”...

Questions answered this episode: I’m dating a wonderful man. I’m very sensitive to physical touch and get aroused very easily. Even holding hands results in arousal. Do you have any advice? Is it okay to keep showing those displays of affection even though they are accompanied by arousal? Why is it a mortal sin to receive the Eucharist in a state of sin? Is the Lord not seeking for us to receive h...

Questions answered this episode: My husband and I are approaching the 25th anniversary of the birth and death of our second born. All this time later, I realize I wish I had a better relationship with him. Do you have any suggestions on how to go about nursing a relationship with my baby on this side of heaven before we are reunited again? I’ve struggled with porn the majority of my life but I’ve...

Questions answered this episode: I’ve heard it said that maybe the reason one hasn’t met their spouse is because God wants wants you to be content solely with Him. But if I get to a point where I am entirely satisfied by God and only Him, then would I even want a spouse at that point? How do I tell God I love Him above all but that I also want a husband? I’ve struggled with masturbation since I wa...

Questions answered this episode: I work for a subsidiary of a large national pharmacy that will soon start to distribute abortion pills. Do you have any advice for discerning the line between remote and material cooperation with evil? How should I determine when it’s time to start working for a new company? I grew up as the oldest child of a narcissistic father and was verbally abused my entire li...

Questions answered this episode: Jesus seems to be hostile towards the body in Mt 5:29-31. How does that go together with the sacramentality of our bodies? What is the main goal of the union between man and woman? Why do people bow for incense? Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor an...

Questions answered this episode: What would you say about an international marriage? Do you think it’s better to marry someone from your own culture? I was exposed to porn at an early age and that led to an addiction to it. Obscene and disturbing images come to mind particularly in moments of deep prayer. Do you have any advice? I’m the one who pursues intimacy in my marriage and my husband is not...

Questions answered this episode: Does God like menopause? My girlfriend has a sexual past including a 2 year relationship with a guy that she was sexually intimate with. I saved myself for marriage and this has been very difficult for me. I’m unsure if she repents of her past or not. Do you have any advice? I’m dating and in love with a man who is infertile after starting chemotherapy for cancer....

Questions answered this episode: I’m a teacher and the other day, one of my 5th graders walked up to me and told me he was “wearing his grandma.” He was wearing an ash necklace where he was holding the ashes of his deceased grandmother. What is the difference between the Catholic tradition of relics and keeping an “ash necklace” How can I tell the difference between loving someone and being afraid...

Questions answered this episode: I’m in my 30’s and I’ve been married for a few years. My past was full of addiction to porn. I’ve been able to heal and overcome those past but I find myself wanting to go back. I also find myself thinking life would’ve been easier if I had married someone else. Do you have any advice? What advice do you have for someone whose 1 year relationship just ended with he...

Questions answered this episode: Soon after my husband and I got married I had cancer and needed to get a hysterectomy. My husband and I adopted our son a year ago. I notice that my husband didn’t bond with me like first time parents typically do. I have trouble sitting with the desire to want to be ministered to as a pregnant woman. Do you have any advice? I have been steeped in pornography for m...

Questions answered this episode: As a young man in my mid twenties, I long for a godly woman. However, I’ve questioned my intentions about this yearning and wondered if my ambitions to get in shape, make a good living and develop a closer relationship with God could just be a cover for worshipping an idol of attracting a certain kind of woman. How can I learn to integrate these ambitions with beco...

Questions answered this episode: I’m struggling with the line between desire and lust in the context of marriage. Can I watch my wife shower and not fall into lust? What is it about marriage that makes desires and actions that, if otherwise took place outside of it would be sinful, not sinful? Will heaven get better after the end times? Will heaven be lacking something when only our souls are ther...

Questions answered this episode: I’m a single Catholic woman in my early 30’s. I’m normally drawn to things that are typically associated with men. A spiritual director from the past attempted to direct me to more traditionally feminine things. What does femininity and masculinity really mean? Can not having a feminine or masculine enough personality constitute an impediment to marriage or to reli...

Questions answered this episode: Do you think we’ll still have our excretory functions in the eschaton? I’m a new convert to the faith. My husband is still a non-catholic and had a vasectomy some time ago. I don’t think he will reverse it. Do you have any advice? Was there sex before original sin? Was marriage meant to last for eternity? Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology o...

Questions answered this episode: I’ve been going deep into the TOB for a few years but after all this time has passed, I’ve noticed it’s difficult to hold on. Did you have a similar experience? Could you provide some encouragement? My wife and I are newly weds. We both would like to have children but she’s currently taking a medication that could be harmful for her pregnancy. There is an option to...

Questions answered this episode: My husband and I have 4 children 7 years old and under. We have unintentionally adopted an open door bathroom policy in our home. Is there an age where this would cease to be appropriate? I’m entering the Church this easter but my husband is not. I want to honor him but I also want to step into what I believe God wants for us and our fertility. How do I have this c...

Questions answered this episode: The word remain has been coming up in my prayer. Do you have deeper insights into this word? Has it ever come up for you in prayer? Where do you recommend that I go to learn more about the topic of contraception from an academic perspective? I’m a stay at home mom. The way the world, my family and friends think about motherhood saddens me. Do you have any advice? A...