Apocalypse Video

To anyone who gets this message; this is David Snider, manager of Apocalypse Video in Sector 2 – and my employees and I have been kidnapped!!! We’re being held hostage by a crazed, former malignant tumor named Madolyn! She’s forcing us to watch this bizarre and twisted movie called “Holiday in Handcuffs”! She says she’s starting a new holiday tradition and we’re to be the first converts to her cau...

Merry Christmas, wastelanders! In honor of the holiday, we’re stepping back into the Hilton Star Trek Simulator and taking another leap with our old friend, Dr. Sam Beckett, in the Christmas Carol inspired episode, A Little Miracle. I’m your host and leaper, Dave, and joining me as we hand-wave away several questionable plot elements are fellow friends from the future Janna and Mike. Topics of dis...

Okay, I’ll be the first to admit when I’m wrong, so with that said, let me just say to Mr. Voorhees that everyone here at Apocalypse Video is genuinely sorry that we missed your special day, Friday the 13th, back in June. To be fair, we had a lot going on this past Summer, what with the whole “disappointing the listeners with terrible superhero movies thing”, but I know - that’s no excuse. Had I k...

Hey, folks. For once we’re going to break kayfabe and address reality. While we may have recorded the episode you’re about to hear back in November, it didn’t come up in our release schedule until just now, and unfortunately, right before this episode was set to drop, the tragic news of Rob and Michele Reiner’s death had started to be announced all over the news. It’s made all the more tragic give...

Apocalypse Video Bond-Cast Mission Dossier: The Target: 1981’s For Your Eyes Only Your Contacts: Apocalypse Video (M)anager - Dave Agents - Mike and Jackie Mission Objectives: Gauge Roger Moore’s age in terms of Leatheriness. Determine why the thug played by Charles Dance pulls a “Leeroy Jenkins”. Find a way to look sexy in 1980s snow apparel. Additional Objectives: Rate, review and subscribe wher...

A film drama of uncommon power! Well, it’s Thanksgiving, and yours truly has some bad news…I may have squandered all of the store’s budget on that big Apocalypse Video Trivia Showdown episode this past Summer, and unfortunately that means there isn’t enough money left over to provide for the annual Thanksgiving Day Employee Luncheon that my subordinates have come to expect. To be honest, I was ser...

Captain’s Log: Stardate 3842.3 The Trek Cast has returned to the Apocalypse Video airwaves after a lengthy hiatus - just in time…for Thanksgiving. And we thought what better way to celebrate the holiday, than with an awkward family reunion with Spock and his parents. I’m told that Spock hasn’t spoken to his father in eighteen years. I keep asking him about his Daddy issues, but he continues to sho...

Submitted for your approval… Tonight, we bring you truly one of the most bizarre and unhinged films we’ve ever covered on this podcast. The subject: Xuxa, a musical entertainer who captured the hearts and minds of Brazilian children everywhere in the late 1980s, including the imagination, decades later, of one Ryan Caldwell. But what Mr. Caldwell and his unsuspecting video store coworkers are abou...

40 Years Later, Evil Returns Home. It’s Halloween, and that can mean only one thing; it’s time to re-reboot an aging horror franchise… again . I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we try our best to avoid getting peanut butter on our penises is fellow horror fan and true crime podcaster, Nick “Immortan Hoof”. Topics of discussion in this episode include a franchise so convoluted that some theatr...

Good evening and welcome to the final chapter of Apocalypse Video’s Vamptober Spooktacular , Live from Lestat’s Bar and Grill. Tonight, we put on our #TeamEdward t-shirts and embrace the inescapable phenomenon that was the 2008 box office sensation: Twilight. I’m joined this evening by fellow cinephiles and blood suckers ( of strictly deer, mind you ), Mike, Jackie, Ryan, and special guest: Kara....

Good evening, and welcome to the third chapter of Apocalypse Video’s Vamptober Spooktacular , Live from Lestat’s Bar and Grill. Tonight, we go overseas to Sweden and turn on the subtitles for a little piece of romantic horror from 2008 entitled, Let the Right One In. I’m joined this evening by fellow cinephile and blood sucker, Cody. Topics of discussion in this episode include two kids who belong...

Good evening and welcome to the second chapter of Apocalypse Video’s Vamptober Spooktacular , Live from Lestat’s Bar and Grill. Our podcast tonight celebrates the 2003 Len Wiseman matrix/vampire mashup: Underworld . I’m joined this evening by my fellow cinephiles and blood suckers Mike, Jackie, and special guest: Cody. Topics of discussion in this episode include the vampire orgy that refuses to g...

I bid you welcome to this year’s Apocalypse Video Shocktober Spooktacular. I am Dave, and I am one of the undead…a vampire. I was a middle aged man of thirty eight when I was turned by one of my employees, a large headed, bespectacled predator in the night named Ryan. In the year that followed, I would spend my nights feasting on the rodents and mutated deer that roamed in the darkness. I thought...

No sex. No booze. No men. No way. Hey, folks; Dave here. One down, three to go, as I continue my month-long Apology Tour for my crimes committed this Summer. This time, perhaps fittingly, I’m taking the gang with me to church in an effort to atone for my cinema sins. But rather than relive the horrors of Mel Gibson and this past Jesus-ary, we’re lightening things up and getting back in the habit w...

Someone once wrote, “War is Hell”. Well, the same thing could be said for this latest run of my Apology Tour. We just watched a season 6 two-parter of M*A*S*H., a show that up until this point I had only seen the end credits of as a kid whenever I was waiting for something else to come on TV. It’s not that the show is bad, mind you, I just can’t shake the feeling that one of my co-hosts, a die har...

Hello, People of the Wasteland. My name is Dave, Store Manager of Apocalypse Video, and I would like to read you the following statement I have prepared: “After the utter failure of our recent summer film fest, which featured the likes of Catwoman and Madame Web, I admit that my decision to create a whole summer of programming based purely on spite was ill conceived and wrong. I accept all respons...

In our world, knowing the future can’t save you from it. On the final episode of Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol. V: The Future is Super Female, Dakota Johnson and Sony Pictures make a film so bad it threatens to end Cinema as we know it! So take off your shoes and prepare to party like it’s 2003; it's Madame Web! I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we review what is perhaps the worst film we’v...

In the future, the odds of survival are 1000 to 1. That’s just the way she likes it. On this week’s episode of Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol V: The Future is Super Female!, Lori Petty ditches her surf board and commandeers a tank to go one on one against the holographic head of Malcolm McDowell…it’s Tank Girl! I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we try our best to conserve water are fellow ci...

Adventure runs in the family. On this week’s episode of Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol V: The Future is Super Female!, Helen Slater battles evil witches and horny truckers as she seeks the power source that will bring life back to her space hippie commune…IT’S SUPERGIRL!! I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we chow down on some Popeye’s chicken are fellow cinephiles and Argo City space hippies...

They were three small time girls, with big time dreams. Now, fate is giving the Pussycats the chance of a lifetime. On this week’s episode of Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol. V: The Future is Super Female! , a group of aspiring rock stars from Riverdale must foil the evil plans of Alan Cumming and Parker Posey as they use the power of subliminal advertising to sell a bunch of garbage to the youth...

This week we celebrate a milestone occasion, folks. Believe it or not, it’s been six whole years since we first started doing the Apocalypse Video podcast, and a lot’s happened in that time. We’ve had people come and go – heads chopped off; heads reattached; Kaiju attacks; you know, the usual. So with such a long and storied history, how could we possibly celebrate six years in a fashion befitting...

Before she can find peace she will wage war. On this week’s episode of Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol. V: The Future is Super Female! , Jennifer Garner comes back from the dead to battle tattooed freaks and super villains who use their laundry as a weapon – It’s Elektra! I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as the fatigue of this less than stellar film fest is starting to set in are fellow cinephi...

CATch Her in IMAX! On this week’s episode of Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol. V: The Future is Super Female! , Halle Berry plays Patience Phillips, a super hot nerd who is turned into a super hot Catwoman, as she battles a stone faced Sharon Stone who’s out to turn the women of America into face cream addicted monsters – from visionary director Pitof, it’s Catwoman! I’m your host, Dave, and joinin...

See Barbarella do her thing! On this week’s episode of Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol. V: The Future is Super Female! , prepare to drop some acid and make love like it’s the year 4,000 — it’s Barbarella! I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we take our sex pills and prepare to have our hair blown back are fellow cinephiles and primitives living in a state of neurotic irresponsibility, Mike and...

Don’t call her Babe! Hot Dave’s Summer Film Fest Vol. V continues! And this time, we’ve got a 90s video store staple for ya, straight from the sleazy town of Steel Harbor…it’s Barb Wire! I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we try to sell our illegal contact lenses are fellow cinephiles and resistance fighters Mike and Ryan. Topics of discussion in this episode include a film that is only a few...