Anything But Vanilla Podcast

What happens when you cross two sick mothers, two busy schedules and and an atypical recording day? Well first and foremost, you don’t get a new cocktail, that’s for sure. What do you get instead? A nice warm cup of comforting cinnamon tea, lots of bickering and a piping hot serving of stinky hot privilege.  Welcome in to episode 140! This week the ladies have succumbed to the plague and are doing...

Do you like the taste of spicy hot garbage? Yes? No? Well, Claire clearly does not and if you are anything like her (loud, opinionated, nosy) then DO NOT make this weeks drink- a Tequila Mule.  Welcome in to episode 139 where the ladies are choking down their drinks, telling listeners to lie to the people they are dating and arguing so much about Cheer, that producer Brian is called in as a mediat...

Wait a minute... what? Your vagina smells like what? Because the ladies know theirs certainly don’t smell like the candle Gwenyth Paltrow is peddling for 75 bucks. It’s time to weigh in! What would your vagina candle smell like?!?  Welcome in to episode 138, where the ladies are drinking an old standby from their college days and arguing about almost everything they discuss.  Per usual listeners g...

Weeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeee Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Did you miss us? Were you as depressed over our absence as the ladies have figured out Fran currently is? Are you prescribed and  using Paxil? Reach out to Fran, she clearly needs help.  Welcome in to episode one of our second season, which also happens to be the first episode of new decade! The ladies are here to fill you in on their holiday...

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Claire and Fran are drunk! Happy holidays from us over here at the ABV! We got your cheery ass holiday drink covered (hello candied cranberries), we got your typical holiday snark covered (college kids need adulting classes, lord) your embarrassing holiday moments (parents and sex, shudder) and your holiday haters (fuck you american public at large). Kick back, relax an...

Ooooops we did it again. Another hour and a half episode is in the books. Did you ask for it? Not necessarily. Are you getting it? You bet your sweet ass you are! Welcome to episode 35, where guest Kristene Crimens “Sacramento’s premiere brow boss” (according to us) joins us for drinks, heated conversations, and general mockery of our world this week. How will Kristene answer the time tested ABV l...

Is it? Is it tan? Golden? Bronze? Brown? How often are you exposing it to the sun? 30 seconds? One minute? An hour? Well, maybe you’re on to something, because Fran and Claire, the tanning queens, haven’t been keen to this trend, and their mental health is CLEARLY compromised. Follow along this week as the ladies drink a jolly holiday cocktail, discuss the places where the sun shouldn’t shine and...

Did anyone else feel it this week? The cold sweat of procrastination beading up at the nape of your neck because you were four hours behind on the homework that was assigned to you three weeks ago and was coming due? Well, you’re not alone, Claire felt it too. Join the ladies as they drink away the day and review ABV homework, to Claire’s chagrin. Get ready to have your comprehension tested, your...

Oh Sacramento, why are you so disappointing at times? Why do you make us lament your terrible choices so frequently? Why are you the terrible boyfriend we just can’t quit? Is it us? Is it you? Its definitely you, obviously. It’s never us. This week Flaire welcomes in their 3rd guest, marketing powerhouse, social media influencer and local Sacramento celebrity, Kachet Jackson-Henderson. Follow alon...

How can this weeks title items have anything in common? How, you ask, do they all go ef themselves? Well, the ladies can’t answer that question. All they can do is tell you with certainty that they need to do so and why it is that they need to. In Episode 31, we welcome back co-host Erica, “The Cackle” Castillo before she embarks on her big move to San Diego. Get ready to chuckle, question our adv...

Let us ask you a serious question. What do you do when a friend makes you a terrible drink? Do you pretend to like it and choke it down? Or do you tell them how you truly feel? In our case, you know what’s going to happen. Welcome to episode 30,   where we open by sharing one of the the grosser drinks we’ve concocted to date (or at least Fran thinks so). So  kick back, relax and get ready to spit...

Join Flaire this week as we celebrate the week of Halloween with a spooky cocktail and lots of gab. If you can’t tell by your hosts voices, this week might have been a little rough. Join in as the gals recap this weeks best and worst in, “Rose and Thorn” (and spoiler alert, it's the worst thorn ever), discuss some news stories this week (is an income of $350k a year really middle class?) and...

Erica just couldn't stay away and joins Claire this week as Fran's fill-in. Erica gives us a life update and tells us how it is now being a listener of the pod.  The girls drink a basic ass bitch cocktail, the Pumpkin Spice Espresso Martini, which you will love if you enjoy a PSL. They get buzzed and disagree over Uber tipping etiquette and Erica's moral integrity waivers/Claire&apo...

You might be wondering what our episodes title ingredients have in common. The answer, in our case, is tequila. It’s always tequila. Welcome to episode 27,  where this dynamite duo finally answers the age old question... is Kirkland branded alcohol on par, or better, than the bougie brand name bullshit. Hang on to your panties and get ready for the results. If you can’t tell by your hosts voices,...

How does one survive being a liberal in Texas you ask? Or wait, did you ask that or are we too drunk and we asked that and just assumed you wanted to know. Either way, we got you covered! Meet Yarrow Sledge, our second guest, longtime friend and loyal ABV supporter. She’s the sweetest thing this side of the Mississippi and she joined us this week to share her opinions, give us the much needed hear...

Real talk. Do you like downing Costco brand alcohol and getting into heated discussions with your best friend?!? Well, you’ve come to the right place because in this weeks episode Flaire is getting lit and bringing the fire that only Kirkland brand tequila can give. Tune in, turn on and drink up, as the twosome recap their highs and lows of the week during “Rose and Thorn” (stay for the Hanson tal...

Summer is gone, fall is officially here and a new season means big changes for the ladies! This week the duo are welcoming in their first guest, Rachel Smith. Rachel is a “boss bitch” who owns her own local PR firm, WordSmith Communications. In addition, Rachel is a hilarious online personality who shares her love of bagels, dating and life as a single woman in her 30s on her instagram, @rachelint...

It's raining, its pouring, technology is fucking up royally!!!! Pardon our lateness, but we had a bit of a mishap in recording this week, so we are a little, ahem, late, in posting this weeks episode. But it's okay, because you know we were really just very drunk and fucked everything all up. You can thank Claire's, "Hyped Up" version of the Barn's Tequila Sangria for...

Who says summer is over after Labor Day? Not these drunks! Claire and Fran are slurping up the last bits of these summer days with a little slice of warm weather nostalgia... a, “juiced up”, Lime Rickey. Sit back, continue to get bronze and drink one of these refreshing cocktails along with the ladies as they take you on the journey of episode 22. In this weeks episode the duo review their highs a...

Its so hard to say goodbye to summer....or is it? On Episode 21, Claire serves up a new and improved rendition of a Tequila Sunrise to help keep the poolside vibes going for our listeners who aren't quite ready to give up on summer like we are! Full drink recipe is listed below. At the top of the episode, the girls reveal the final results of the "tan-off" and all the bizarre compet...

Hey ABV listeners! Did you think Fran’s White Claw creation was on fire last episode? Well, ya gurl nails another one this week, with “Tajine Dream #2” Full drink recipe is listed below. On Episode 20, the gals recap the previous week by sharing their, “Rose and Thorn”, present local and national news highlights, including: a 60 person brawl at Raging Waters (stay classy, Sacramento), The first re...

Summer is winding down and the tan-off is only weeks away, which can only mean one thing...the ladies are finally jumping on the Whiteclaw wagon and living their best basic bitch summers. In episode 19, the gals share their highs and lows of the week during, “Rose and Thorn” and discuss only one news story this week because they are drunks who lose track of time and like to go off on tangents. Are...

Oh lawwwwwwdy! This past week has us firing on all cylinders! The ladies are coming in fiery and fierce with this last weeks news of citizens boycotting businesses supporting trump (with a lower case T, because, that is the grammar he deserves). Wanna get fired up too? Proceed!  In episode 18, the gals share their highs and lows of the week during  “Rose and Thorn”, discuss local and national news...

The trio is back and better than ever! Just kidding! Erica made a hood rat drink, the United States is royally fucked (thanks NRA!) and Claire is trying to back pedal on her “know-it-all” status. In episode 17, the threesome give their weeks in review by sharing their, “Rose and Thorn”, discuss the unbearable events of multiple domestic terrorist attacks on the United States and, of course, give a...

This week the ladies are feeling a little off kilter, as they are down to just two. With Erica out of town, Claire and Fran do their best to hold down the fort and get drunk with shooters (recipe below) that were unfortunately, disgusting. A word to the wise- drink at your discretion and don’t say we didn’t warn you. In episode 16, the twosome recap their previous week by sharing their, “Rose and...