Anxiety in Me

"Am I a bisexual or a lesbian?" is the question I repeated in my head over thousands times. Even though it is a question about myself, I was not able to find an answer. So let's untangle this question with me, piece by piece!! Intro: Track Name by Blue Dot Sessions (www.sessions.blue).

Few weeks ago, I did something that I never thought I could. Traveling to the country I've never been before all by myself to see my celebrity crush. In this episode I talked about my experiences in detail, why now and how it happened. Getting out of my comfort zone was definitely a scary experience, but I think it was worth it.

I was so anxious about the recent mcu movie "The Marvels". First of all, the strike was still going on until few days before the release date. Second, I knew there are certain amounts of insecure male population will totally hate this movie, even without watching it. And yes, as I expected, things really didn't go well. But I feel like this was very fun, well structured movie, people...

As the show like "Good omens" and "Our flag means death" are trending on the internet, I can't help but to think back of the era of queerbaiting, which, in my opinion messed up quite a lot of people's emotions. Also, as some people claim celebrities are "queerbaiting" these days, it made me think what queerbaiting really is, and why it's an issue. Let'...

These days, I see many arguments and discussions going on about the casting of live action movies, which often discusses about skin color, race and sexuality. At the same time, I always see "we don't need a diversity in movies/tv shows" comments ALL THE TIME. Is it true ? Is representation for minority not necessarily to tell the stories? Let's talk about it.

⚠️SPOILER ALERT⚠️ It's finally time to talk about it ! Ever since Endgame, the expectations for MCU movies are pretty high, especially when it's a final movie. But oh my god this movie was much better than I thought, and is a beautiful masterpiece. I talked about what made this movie so great (since there are so many fantastic movies about space out there already), and the characters. Feel...

I, personally, have been wearing glasses for more than ten years, and I can't quite function without them. As I get older, I realized many people around my age switched to contact lenses (which I never tried). It seems like some people chose that for convenience, but others did so in order to get "prettier". This makes me wonder, is wearing glasses ugly? Is it preventing us from &quo...

SPOILER ALERT !! I finally watched the famous movie RRR, and I just can't stop thinking about it. Everything about this movies is different from the other movies (mostly American) I have ever watched. Thus I decided to talk about this three hours long movie, about all the things I loved. It's just me, being enthusiastic as ever, trying to explain why this movie is so good. I have already s...

Eat. Sleep. Have sex. These are the famous desires that are believed most people have. If we aren't fulfilled these desires, that's why you are angry or sad, we say. But do these desires really apply to everyone? Does lacking any of these three makes you "less human-like" ? In this episode, I explored the thoughts I have for each desire, to find out which one should be most prior...

I joined the practice of the chorus club I used to join, and that reminds me a lot about my time in junior high school. There are people I haven't seen for a long time. Some people change dramatically, and others stay quite the same. Junior high school is a pretty interesting time, as we are not children but not adults.  After couple of practices, I can't help myself but to wonder if people c...

I became a big anime nerd last year, and I realized an interesting culture going on. There are certain people in every fandom, people who have access to their money tend to buy over hundreds of same items. There are pictures and videos posted on social media, from them buying them to displaying them. Those actions made me wonder, why do people (including me) feel this urge to buy everything we hav...

When the clock hit 0:00 for the first time in 2022, I was very excited. I knew this year is going to be legen - wait for it- dary (I was watching himym at that time so I used this phrase a lot). But this year was the hardest year of my life, and I realized, things don't always go as well as I planned. There were many moments I tried to improve, to be a better person, but you can't just dramaticall...

(Spoiler Alert) August 2020, the beloved actor Chadwick Boseman sadly passed away. I was very curious how they are going handle this movie without Black Panther. In conclusion, I cried a lot, A LOT while watching this movie. I cried like a huge baby. Honestly this was the best two hours experience I had in the theater this year. For some reasons, the absence of T'Challa made me remind more and mor...

Being able to speak another language fluently is so much fun than it sounds. Today, I talked about how I learned and became confident in speaking English. I feel like Japanese people in general are good at writing and listening, but somehow not in speaking. You don't have to buy English textbook or use complicated words to be "good" at English. All it takes are a certain environment and your will...

As someone who have an experience living outside of Japan, I can't help but notice that Japanese beauty standard is toxic. The cosmetic industry will always make you feel you aren't good enough. Pictures on social media are pretty much heavily edited these days. I'm not saying we should all stop it, but it just helps growing insecurities inside of teenagers. Today I mentioned few things I realized...

Today, I took a break from discussing my opinions about certain topics. Instead, I decided to focus about my current life. September is my favorite month, because my birthday is on September. I mostly talked about how I spent few days around my birthday this year, and what I want to achieve in next semester since today is also the last day of my summer vacation. Hope you can enjoy listening  ...

I had so much fun during summer vacation. But at the same time, I felt like there is this super high standard for "enjoying your life". These days, everything we do or did in our life immediately go to social media like Instagram or TikTok. Why do we always feel like we have to prove that we are having fun, quality time ? Is it impossible to actually enjoy our life without worrying about how good...

What is a family? Well, it goes without saying that each of us have a different view of it. As for me, I have experiences of living with both of my parents and raised by a single parent. Also as a bi person, I have no idea how I am going to shape my future family, which makes me worry A LOT. How will I even get pregnant? Will I adopt a baby or hook up with a strange dude? Who will take care of my...

As an introvert, I don't have that much friends, but I do have all kinds of friends. Let me tell you, they are all very genius, energetic and fantastic. Their parents must be really proud of them. The thing is, I sometimes feel like shit because comparing to them, I am just a basic average teenager. I don't have this specific plans or goal for my future. I haven't really done any fantastic stuffs...

I've always wanted to do this 73 questions thing with Vogue so I did, except it's 50 questions and my answers are way too long and complicated than that. I was suppose to discover something new and unique about myself, but ended up realizing how I'm lazy and weak at English vocabulary. Anyway, I am not sure who would like to listen to me just answering 50 questions, but please enjoy.

I was only 15 years old when I lost my mother. I suddenly had to face various difficulties and grief that I have never experienced in the past. I was in really dark place that I even had a suicidal thought. Sure, the friends were really nice to me but you cannot really understand grief if you don't experience it. I took this opportunity to appreciate my mom, and to show you one example of grief. L...

When I tell you it was hard for me to experience sexual identity crisis in Japan, I mean it. Maybe it is not easy to be gay in anywhere around the world (sadly), but being bi in Japan meant you have no information or role model. I basically talked about how I use to think about myself, from the moment I realized I am gay to today. As growing up, I had no one to talk or hear about these things, so...

"I can still handle this by myself." "I'm fine." "There is nothing to worry about". I kept telling those things to myself, when I knew I was at my lowest point. Why? Because I was too scared to open up to people, even to my own parent. But I slowly started to realize that I have to, otherwise I will break myself. This is the story about how I overcame my trust issue. And lastly, Happy Pride Month...

SPOILER ALERT !!(Obviously) I think most of the fandom have been waiting for a really long time to watch this movie. All though this movie was a bit differ from what we've expected, it gave us a new type of MCU movie. In this episode, I talked about my opinions for each characters (including new guys), and how I thought after finished watching it. And damn I seriously do hope there is at least ONE...

Yes the rumor is true.. I used to be ashamed of liking anime. I know anime is worshipped in foreign countries, but I just couldn't understand why. Today I confessed why I was ashamed of that to begin with, and how I overcame that. Also, shout out to my current no.1 favorite anime called Prince of Tennis!! The important lesson is that you should never let other people judge about the things you rea...