An Evolving Man Podcast

What is the impact of taking a child age 13 away from their family for a year and putting them in a boarding school? And during that year the child only sees their parents once for Xmas? What would happen to that child especially if they were put into one of the top boarding schools in the UK, Westminster? Today I am speaking with author Andrew Kavchak who shares his own experience of living away...

Touch is so important for #childdevelopment . Last week I was reading author Andrew Kavchak 's book about his boarding school experience: "One of the features of being at a boarding school that contributed to my starting to feel like a grape drying on the vine and shriveling up like a raisin was the absense of any touching with another human being. As the much-needed physical contact had...

In working with ex-boarders I see that we are so hard on ourselves.  Our inner critic can be brutal.  Today I share some thoughts about #selfcompassion.  What are 3 ways of cultivating it? #compassion  https://youtu.be/PhHJ_ZlaaMc  For the film fundraising: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/boarding-on-insanity#/  --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who wo...

 Wishing you all a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year.  Here's to a year of healing and moving into wholeness.  Today I was asked some questions by someone who was going out with an ex-boarder.  She tells me: "My ex partner is a boarding school survivor. We recently split up and I really miss him. I feel like he loves me, but pushes me away. I am wondering if I should just give him space? ...

On today's podcast I am speaking with best selling author Michael Davitt, who writes under the pen name, Luke Pemberton. Today he talks about some of his mental health journey. He talks about his breakdown while working in the diplomatic service and how he links that into complex PTSD and his time spent as child growing up and at boarding school. He also talk about Boris Johnson and how his b...

 Today I wanted to offer some reflections about the film and the current fundraising which you can find here: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/boarding-on-insanity#/discussion  We are currently half way through the fundraising.  A big thanks for all your help.  We have raised £5000 so far which is wonderful, thank you.  We are starting to organise a retreat as part of the film.  This will be a 4...

Today's conversation is with author Person Irresponsible (PI). PI is the author of two books.  Her first book charts her walk from the Mexico to the border of Canada in 2020. Her second book talks about her journey around the UK in a van and also shares some of her boarding school journey. In this episode we talk about her experiences of boarding school and how that has impacted her life. She...

 Stress - How To Relieve Stress. Stress Management Strategies  Today I wanted to share some techniques for managing stress. As trauma survivors we often struggle with stress and can get stressed quite easily. In this podcast I wanted to share some thoughts about what you can do the next time you are feeling stressed.  What are some practices you can use to manage your stress levels? To support the...

 Review of RRR - Indian Film - The Psychology of the British Raj & The British Empire's Cruelty  Today I wanted to offer some reflections about the Indian Telugu film, RRR, directed by Rajamouli, featuring Ram Charam and NT Rama Rao Jr.  I watched this film at the weekend and today wanted to offer some reflections about the psychology of the British Raj which we see played out in the film...

 What is the impact of private education on the UK?  Should we abolish Eton? Today on the podcast assistant professor in Sociology, Dr Sol Gamsu talks about elitism in education. How does this show up? And what is the impact on the UK? --- Dr Sol Gamsu is an assistant professor in sociology at Durham University. He is also a sociologist and a geographer of education with a strong commitment to the...

A leading teacher and former head of department talks about the modern education system both private and state. What is not working in the current system? What needs to change? What does he think about Ofsted? A great conversation talking about Paul's experiences at a public school, boarding school and working as a teacher in the state system. --- Paul has degrees in Geography and ICT. He has...

A big thank you for your donations so far.  We have raised $2500 after the first five days which is wonderful.  Thank you.  To watch the trailer and support the film please visit (please be aware that there is a trigger warning - some upsetting things are shared) :  https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/boarding-on-insanity/x/15184448#/  And if you can't financially support the film please do sh...

On today's conversation we explore trauma, child development, education and self-directed learning. What is trauma? How might trauma show up as an adult. She also talk about the modern education system. What is it like? What needs to change? We also delve into boarding schools. What is the opinion of clinical psychologist, who specialises in education about boarding schools? Dr Fisher also at...

 Today I wanted to offer some more reflections about trauma recovery.  In my own life I used to persecute myself a lot. As Pete Walker in his book Complex PTSD says, we can often have a very strong inner critic. This was me.  Today I share some of the teachings of David Emerald from his book, The Power of TED, The Empowerment Dynamic.  A few months ago I recorded the first part about Victim to Cre...

Today I am speaking with Marcus Gottlieb about sexuality in boarding schools. He talks about his experience of working with gay, lesbian and bisexual ex-boarders.  He also talks about how boarding school was like “a penal colony on Mars” for him. He talks about fagging, being given sedatives as a home sickness medicine, what boarding school syndrome is and how it impacts adults. A really fascinati...

 Today I wanted to share some of the symptoms of boarding school syndrome.  I draw upon the work of Prof Joy Schaverien and Nick Duffell.  I also draw on my 8 years of clinical work with ex-boarders.  What are some of the commons symptoms of having been to public school?  You might not have had any specific trauma and yet being in the boarding school environment is considered a developmental traum...

Childhood Trauma and Forgiveness. Why We Need to Forgive Both Ourselves and Others   Today I wanted to share some thoughts about forgiveness.  Why is forgiveness so important in the healing of childhood trauma?  I talk about why forgiveness is not about condoning what others have done but it is more about ourselves.  When we forgive we release the resentment and the hatred that we are carrying.  I...

In this episode with bestselling parenting author, Sarah Ockwell-Smith, we talk about childism. What is childism? Sarah shares that childism is the “unconscious discrimination of children in our world – and why it impacts everybody Why are we childist as a society? Why do we not take care of our children especially in terms of discipline and sleep regimes? Sarah talks about her new book, “Because...

Please note that some listeners might find this episode triggering. We cover some subjects which some people might find upsetting to hear. In this episode, the creator of Judge Dredd and 2000AD talks about his experiences of attending a Catholic private school in the UK. He shares his experiences of child sexual abuse while there. What happened? He also shares a lot of the back story around the ab...

 This weekend with my wife and the director of my film, Boarding on Insanity we are going to be attending Gabor Mate's conference/ workshop.  To sign up to support our film please visit: https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-film  We will also be interviewing Alex Renton and Dr Suzanne Zeedyk while we are there.  I am looking forward to it. If you would like me to share what I learned o...

AEM #75 Nicky Moxey– ACES, Boarding School  What are third culture kids? And what about military brats?  And how does that link to boarding schools?  Today I am speaking with author, Nicky Moxey about what third culture kids are.  Nicky grew up in Africa but was sent to boarding school in the UK.  She talks about the three different types of third culture kid - military, mercantile and missionary....

 Been reading #GaborMate 's excellent book #mythofnormal.  I talk today about the overlap between his chapter about our leaders "the traumatized leading the traumatized" and Nick Duffell's wounded leaders.  David Cameron: Age 7 talking about his time at boarding school: 'The food was spartan. I lost a stone in weight during a single term. There was one meal that consisted...

David Howe is a retired Professor and Dean for the School of Social Work and Psychosocial Sciences at the University of East Anglia, Norwich. He is the author of many book in the field of child abuse and neglect, including Attachment Theory for Social Work Practice and Child Abuse and Neglect. Questions: I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?...

Today I explore the question about childhood neglect and boarding school. I draw upon the writings of David Cameron, ex-Prime Minister of England who said about his boarding school, "The food was spartan. I lost a stone in weight during a single term. There was one meal that consisted of curry, rice – and maggots. "  https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7464599/How-David-Camerons-bru...

Childhood Neglect What is it and why is it so damaging? Today I offer some reflections about childhood trauma and neglect. I share some reflections about the work of Bessel Van der Kolk, Gabor Mate and Judith Herman.  I like to look through the indexes of many authors before I prepare a video or audio. Interestingly, there were no references to neglect in any of the books in the indexes. Why is it...