An A to Z of Sex with Men

An A to Z with Men is BACK! And today is all about aphrodisiacs and erogenous zones, because this week, A... is for Arousal. In a new, Season 2 format, Raphael and Jacinta will be discussing words of the week; answering questions from the audience; doing the usual 'extensive research'; sharing their personal stories, and watching a topic related film. This week it's 90s classic, Cruel Intentions.....

It’s been a wild ride and now here we are at our final destination, Z is for Zipless Fucks! Jacinta and Raphael had no idea what a zipless fuck was so they drafted in some expert help in the form of SPECIAL GUEST, writer and comedian, Michael Cumes. Together they academically analyse the zipless fuck (a term coined by Erica Jong in the novel Fear of Flying by the way) in an attempt to define somet...

While we're waiting for episode Z to zoom it's way to you (read: we're still editing it), we thought we'd tide you over with a mini bonus episode, in which we chat love... in the bedroom. Dinners, blowjobs and bondage are all in the mix, but how do you think love can be expressed during the act of sex/fucking/love making etc? We would super love to know!

No means no, but does yes always mean yes? This week it’s time to look at the big Y.E.S. and what it means when we say it. There’s the tentative yes, the spontaneous yes, the considered yes and the all important enthusiastic yes! There’s yes to sex, yes to cuddles, yes to relationships and yes to marriage. What do all these yeses entail? Can yes be said without being spoken? And what’s the differe...

This week is a little different folks! Not many things begin with X so Raphael and Jacinta have thrown caution and convention to the wind in this X-RATED drinking game special. X-pect X-cruciating quizzes, X-plicit Would You Rather s, X-posing truths and X-pedient lies, not to mention an X-plosion of alcohol fuelled X-uberance in this X-hilarating X-stravaganza! There are no trigger warnings this...

This week W is for exactly what you’d think - that’s right… Wanking! In one of the most revealing episodes yet, Raphael and Jacinta discuss what gets them off when they’re on their own; the health benefits of wanking (physical, mental and emotional), and why mutual masturbation is the best. Oh and also how wanking doesn’t make your hands hairy! Welcome to the wack(ing one out)y world of wanking. I...

Jacinta and Raphael are addressing their sensitive sides in this week’s episode on vulnerability. Whether it’s sex with strangers, expressing your feelings, or giving your first hand job, there are many ways to feel vulnerable in a sexual context. It sounds scary, but can vulnerability actually be a good thing and, most importantly, can we have good sex without it? Danger, passion, erotic anticipa...

This week, Raphael and Jacinta turn their attention to the humble sex noise or, as every porn film would have us believe, ‘uhhh’. Why do we make noise during sex? What noises do we make? How does hearing our partner’s noises make us feel? How do we feel about our own noises? They discuss all this and more in today’s exploration of the sex soundscape - groaning, moaning and gutteral cries abound. S...

Jacinta and Raphael talk a lot about their turn ons in this show, but what about their turn offs ? They’ve both experienced being in the mood and raring to go, then a chance turn of phrase, mannerism or unwelcome thought leaves them suddenly cold. But why does it happen and why do those things turn us off? They surveyed their friends and it turns out turn offs are as varied and as particular as tu...

You there, come a little clossser, I have a sssecret.... It beginsss with the letter Sss - it’sss for Sssafe Sssexxx! That’s right folks, condoms aren’t just for preventing pregnancies. Ever since the terrifying HIV epidemic of the 80’s, safe sex has been the main method of preventing the transmission of STIs - but the stigma attached to these sordid sicknesses is unjustified. Today’s statistics s...

It's the stuff of novels and films; genres of music and artistic movements are named after it; people yearn for it, scoff at it and make grand gestures to achieve it; but what exactly is romance? Raphael and Jacinta went into this week's recording with a very specific set of ideas and came out with their minds totally turned around. We may think we want that grand gesture, but a freshly brewed cup...

Jacinta and Raphael have arrived at the quirkiest of letters, and they can’t quite believe how quickly they’ve quoted the alphabet so far. But our ‘Quota of Quickening pulses’ would be quintessentially questionable without qualifying it with a quantity of fabulous Queerness. Q is for Queer and we have not one but TWO quirky guests to question the quagmire of queerdom, bringing their own quixotic q...

What’s the internet for? Yes, whether you think it’s a good thing or bad, we can all agree that porn (for which P stands this week) is everywhere, and there is no place it won’t go. We’ll start things off with a fun quiz (who doesn’t love trivia?) and find out just how much porn there is and how long we watch it for. Can the fantasy of porn ever match reality? Will you ever relive that fantasy you...

This week’s episode will make you die. But only a little death - as this week O is for Orgasm! The big O is more complex than anyone ever realised. Oh! What a variety - from the ones that are almost nothing, to the full body experiences that linger; from the first orgasms, to the self-initiated, to the best ones, and everything in between - and that’s without even discussing all the different type...

Jacinta and Raphael are back with a tough one - the word 'No'. Hard to say, hard to hear, yet vitally important, they explore just what our issues with 'No' might be. From milky tea to stroppy men, via many overstepped boundaries, they tell their own stories of ignored and unsaid 'no's. It's a difficult topic but they couldn't have explored it in a safer or more loving space. They hope you feel th...

In this week’s episode Jacinta and Raphael go back a few thousand years and uncover some mythical memoirs of monolithic proportions. It seems not much has changed since those ‘good old days’ when heroes and gods roamed the earth, causing confusion with their bows and arrows (and genitals) and epically sized desires. Metamorphosing into “golden showers”, bulls, and a menagerie of other totally mund...

This week Raphael and Jacinta are loquacious about Love. In a world obsessed with the language OF love, they discover that there isn’t much of a language FOR love. Nothing seems to have been done about this since the days of the Ancient Greeks, so they turn to them for some much needed guidance. From self love (philautia) to lust (eros), via obsession (mania) and long term commitment (pragma), the...

This week Jacinta and Raphael are tying up all things Kink. Apprehensive to embark on such a topic alone, they are joined by very special guest, 'bisexual burlesque beastie' and all round brilliant bunny, Bambi Bang Bang! (Perhaps we should bring her back for a future B episode?) This week Jacinta and Raphael are tying up all things Kink. Apprehensive to embark on such a topic alone, they are join...

In this week’s episode J, Raphael and Jacinta tackle that green-eyed monster (for once, not the one-eyed kind), Jealousy… Facing it head on, they dive into jealousy’s murky depths, its gaping maw, its infernal pits, recalling times they are less than proud of as well as telling some difficult truths from the LGBT+ perspective. Destructive, senseless and illogical, yet all too prevalent in our roma...

In this week’s Episode I, Jacinta and Raphael discuss the topic of Intimacy. Turns out, it’s more complex than they might have thought! They look at four types of intimacy (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual) and explore which of them, if any, are needed for some truly sexy sex and meaningful love making. Is intimacy indispensable or irrelevant for an impassioned invitation? Listen now to h...

Hark! What’s that you hear? Raphael and Jacinta are back?! With the letter H?!! ‘And what’s H for?’ you ask. Horny hopes, humiliating horrors, heartwarming happenings; why it’s the humble Hookup of course!  Hop aboard for a first-hand history of hookups full of helpful hints and heinous howlers. Hilarious, hopeless or horrific? Take from it what you will... There are no specific trigger warni...

In this end-of-part-one special, Jacinta & Raphael look back on episodes A - G. Instead of kicking themselves over what they forgot to talk about, they open up the Thesaurus to synonymise, harmonise and fantasise in this reprise of this very special exercise. Get ready to be surprised as they improvise, summarise and advise on the stuff they forgot to memorise! Don’t compromise - be wise and r...

This week, Raphael and Jacinta are joined by their first ever very special guest (cue the trumpet!), Joshua Freddie Vaughan! Together they attempt to unpick the complex topic of gender: From language, attraction and ‘types’ to gender expression, education and colonialism - all placed on the metaphorical dissection table as they discuss their own, as well as societal, attitudes toward gender. This...

We all remember many of our firsts. First bicycle, first car, first kiss, first love... From frivolous fun to frustrating flops, every first is full of fascinating findings! With fresh facts, fabulous follies and no fiction whatsoever, Jacinta and Raphael offer up a feast of furtive fantasies and sexual firsts. TW: Homophobic language (1:27 - 1:30) Twitter/Instagram: @atozwithmen Facebook: faceboo...

What connects joy, sadness, contentment and fear? Why, sex of course! Join Jacinta and Raphael for episode E, where they tackle the torrid topic of… Emotion. Sex, breakups, love and lust, they all come with their own set of complex emotions, but why is that? They’re not sure they know, but they’re very happy to talk about it! TW: Coercion (2:58 - 3:36), sexual assault (5:20 - 6:26). Raphael’s firs...