allofyoupodcast

All of You

Welcome to the All of You Podcast with Dave and Shiv Martinell! A few years and one too many fights ago, our relationship led us on personal journeys toward self awareness, healing, and personal growth. We started to see that the more we healed, the better we started showing up not just in our relationship, but in the workplace, in our friendships, with our daughters, and most importantly for ourselves. Our hope is that in sharing our own raw and vulnerable truths, others will be inspired, feel seen, and will want to pursue growth and healing in their own lives. We’re driven by the belief that...

Author

allofyoupodcast

Category

Education

Podcast website

allofyoupodcast.podbean.com

Latest episode

Jun 29, 2026

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Episodes

Ep.89 Family Estrangement: When distance becomes necessary 05.01.2026

Family estrangement is one of the most painful and complex relationship experiences a person can walk through, and this episode approaches it with honesty, compassion, and deep care. Dave shares his personal journey with family estrangement, what it has cost him, what it has taught him, and how he’s been able to create healthier relationships on the other side. Shiv and Dave explore estrangement f...

Ep.88 Our Take on New Year’s Resolutions 29.12.2025

The New Year tends to arrive with a lot of pressure — to change faster, do more, fix everything, and somehow become a brand-new version of yourself overnight. In this episode, we slow the whole thing down and offer a different perspective on what this season is actually for. We talk about why this time of year is better suited for rest, reflection, and intention than rigid goal-setting, and how ma...

Ep.87 Happiest or hardest time of the year? 22.12.2025

The holidays are often framed as the happiest time of the year… but for many, they can also be the hardest. In this episode, Dave and Shiv talk honestly about why the holiday season can feel so heavy, from unmet expectations and family dynamics to grief, loneliness, and the invisible mental load—especially for women. Shiv shares why she used to dread the holidays, and together they explore what it...

Ep.86 Blocks to gratitude 15.12.2025

We talk a lot about the power of gratitude—but if it’s so good for us, why don’t we live there all the time? In this episode, we explore the blocks to gratitude and what actually gets in the way of feeling it, even when there’s so much to appreciate. Using a real moment from the day after Disneyland, we unpack how easy it is to slip into shame and self-criticism—and how gratitude isn’t about bypas...

Ep.85 Relationships: the playground for personal growth 08.12.2025

In this conversation, we explore one of the most surprising truths about personal development: the work you do for your relationship is the same work that transforms every part of your life. Relationships act like a mirror—showing you the patterns, wounds, and habits that quietly shape how you communicate, lead, set boundaries, and move through the world. When you choose to grow inside your partne...

Ep.84 Does your trauma make you stronger? 01.12.2025

In this episode, we unpack the complicated relationship between trauma and growth—and why going through something hard isn’t what makes you stronger. We talk about the difference between experiencing trauma and actually healing from it, and Shiv opens up about how the saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” she was told in the wake of extreme loss did more harm than good. We also dig int...

Ep.83 We weaponized the work 24.11.2025

In this episode, we’re getting honest about a pattern we didn’t expect to find in our own relationship: using personal growth tools in ways they were never meant to be used. We talk about how easy it is, once you’ve done a lot of healing and communication work, to slip into correcting, analyzing, or psychoanalyzing your partner — all under the guise of “using the tools.” If you’ve ever caught your...

Ep.82 Your permission to not be liked 17.11.2025

This week we’re diving into the uncomfortable truth that not everyone is going to like you — and why that’s actually okay. We talk through our own experiences with rejection, wanting to be misunderstood, and the pressure to manage how people see you. It’s an honest, unstructured conversation about what it looks like to release that weight and stay grounded in who you are. If you’ve ever felt the u...

Ep.81 Outsourcing your self worth 10.11.2025

Ever feel totally fine… until your partner seems a little off? And suddenly you’re questioning yourself, replaying conversations, or wondering if you did something wrong? That’s outsourcing your self-worth — and most people don’t even realize they’re doing it. In this episode, we break down why your partner’s mood or behavior can feel like it determines your value, how this pattern quietly shows u...

Ep.80 How health in one area is connected to all areas 03.11.2025

Ever notice how when one part of your life feels off, everything else starts to feel a little off too? In this episode, we explore how all areas of your health:  mental, physical, emotional, relational, spiritual, and even financial are deeply connected. We talk about why you can’t truly feel well if you’re neglecting one area, how imbalance shows up in subtle ways, and what it actually looks like...

Ep.79 What we really want in an apology 27.10.2025

We think we want “I’m sorry,” but what we’re really craving is to be seen in our pain. In this episode, we share a story from one of our own past fights and talk about why apologies sometimes don’t land the way we hope they will. Because not all of the pain is from the moment—it’s often old, living in our bodies and showing up when we least expect it. We’ll unpack what it really means to feel seen...

Ep.78 Projection: it’s easier to see this in you than to face it in me 20.10.2025

Have you ever accused someone of something, only to realize later that it was actually about you? In this episode, we’re diving deep into projection, which is the unconscious defense mechanism that makes us see our own wounds, insecurities, and traits in others. We talk about why projection is so sneaky, how it keeps both people stuck, and what to do when you’re either the one projecting or the on...

Ep.77 Manipulation: the ways we do it without knowing it 13.10.2025

We all like to believe we’re “not manipulative.” But the truth? Most of us do it, often without even knowing. In this episode, Shiv opens up about the sneaky, unintentional ways she's tried to control situations or people, and how manipulation can quietly show up in our relationships, families, and even faith. We explore what manipulation actually is (and isn’t), why we do it, and how fear, contro...

Ep.76 Signs of an absent partner 06.10.2025

You can be sitting next to someone you love and still feel completely alone. In this episode, we talk about what it really means to have an absent partner and how absence isn’t just physical. It can be emotional, mental, relational, or even spiritual. We explore the subtle ways absence shows up in relationships: when your partner stops sharing what’s really going on inside, when conversations stay...

Ep.75 Are we chasing or avoiding what we feel 29.09.2025

In this episode, we explore how so much of what we do comes down to either chasing or avoiding our emotions. We chase because we believe others have something we’re missing. We avoid because we don’t want to feel what’s already here. And while both patterns can sometimes lead to “good” outcomes, neither one ultimately brings the fulfillment we’re longing for. We’ll also dive into how this plays ou...

Ep.74 Is it time to rest or work harder? 22.09.2025

We’ve all hit that moment of wondering: do I need to slow down, or do I just need to push a little harder? In this episode, we unpack how to tell the difference. Self-compassion doesn’t mean complacency—it’s what fuels resilience and lasting growth. Research shows that when we meet ourselves with kindness, we actually achieve more, not less. But pushing when your body and nervous system are alread...

Ep.73 The fine line between boundaries and control 15.09.2025

Where’s the line between a healthy boundary and trying to control someone you love? In this episode, we dive into the difference. Boundaries create safety, clarity, and respect in a relationship — while control often comes from fear, insecurity, or a need to manage the other person. We’ll share real-life examples of what healthy boundaries sound like versus what control looks like in disguise, and...

Ep.72 Building self confidence 08.09.2025

What if the confidence you’ve been chasing isn’t about looking put together or pretending you’ve got it all figured out, but about healing the parts of you that were hurt in the first place? In this episode, we’re breaking down what real self-confidence looks like and why it can’t come from surface-level fixes. We talk about the wounds that shape how we see ourselves and the subtle ways we avoid f...

Ep.71 Navigating jealousy 01.09.2025

Jealousy is one of those emotions everyone feels but no one really likes to talk about. Is it a natural part of love, or does it always point to deeper insecurity? In this episode, we dive into the complexities of jealousy — where it comes from, how it shows up in relationships, and what it might actually be trying to tell us. We also share how our own views of jealousy have shifted over time and...

Ep.70 Hot takes: our spicy opinions and random rants 25.08.2025

This week's episode is a little different…Instead of diving deep into one theme, Shiv and Dave are serving up their hot takes—the rants, opinions, and random musings that don’t quite fit into a full topic but are too wild and funny to keep off the mic. From believing that social media isn’t bad to discussing why sometimes eating “unhealthy” is actually the healthier choice, we’re sharing the thing...

Ep.69 Self sabotage: how we get in our own way 18.08.2025

Why do we sometimes get in our own way, even when things are going really well? In this episode, we unpack the sneaky ways self-sabotage shows up in our lives—whether in relationships, career, or even moments of peace and happiness. We explore the beliefs that fuel it (“What if it all gets taken away?” “Do I really deserve this?”), and how old family patterns may have shaped what we think love, su...

Ep.68 When you don’t feel that chemistry anymore 11.08.2025

Attraction isn’t static — it ebbs and flows depending on our energy, our connection, and what’s happening inside of us. In this episode, we talk openly about what happens when “the spark” feels like it’s fading, and how to tell if it’s really gone or just asking for your attention. We share how to discern whether a lack of attraction is about your own inner world or the dynamic between you and you...

Ep.67 Fighting about money part 2 04.08.2025

In this follow-up episode, Dave opens up more about the beliefs he formed around money growing up, and together we unpack how those early messages shape the way we approach money today. We explore the role of safety, control, and values in how couples relate to money, what habits have actually brought us closer, and why there’s no one right way to manage money in a relationship. Our hope is that t...

Ep.66 Fighting about money part 1 28.07.2025

In this first episode of our two-part series on money, Shiv shares how her old money beliefs were shaped by fear, scarcity, and survival—and how shifting those beliefs changed everything. We unpack the idea that couples aren’t actually fighting about money, but about the deeper stories and wounds attached to it. We also explore how someone's money behaviors—like overspending, withholding, or contr...

Ep.65 Defensiveness: staying curious and confident in conflict 21.07.2025

In one of our most listened-to episodes, we tackled defensiveness—and you asked for more. In this deeper dive, we explore how to stay open and grounded when your guard wants to go up. We share real stories from our own relationship, unpack why defensiveness shows up most with the people we love, and offer practical tools for staying regulated, curious, and connected—even in the heat of conflict!  ...

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