Alive & Fragile

Author’s Note: This a long piece so if you usually read via email, it might get shortened. You can read the full post on my substack page. Song used can be found here , here , and here . Summary/Blurb: This is about what it feels like to become the butterfly, soft and shimmering under the sun. Strange looking and gorgeous. I’ve felt all of my life that I was wrong, and I’m only starting to see now...

♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ december’s playlist so far ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ Welcome to December’s tarot forecast. This came together much slower and more analytically than last month’s, which feels like part of the message as well. We are slowing down to prepare for something new. This will be a three-card energy reading. I suggest returning halfway through the month to see how the themes have emerged and then again towards the...

‧₊˚♪ 𝄞₊˚⊹music for this reading‧₊˚♪ 𝄞₊˚⊹ Inspired by the lovely astrologers of the internet, I decided to pull some cards to add to the picture the stars may be creating this month. If you notice parallels between the mini reading and themes that emerge as the month progresses, please report back. It seems my underworld declaration will be ringing very true this month. This is a three-card reading...

I’ve been sitting with time recently. Watching her slowness to start much of anything, the languidness she chooses. The way the future arrives after years of adding one piece at a time, because that is the fastest pace time will allow. Being on the edge of my mid-twenties, it’s the first time I can see how time moves very clearly. I think about aging and technology, generational rifts, investing....

This Aries full moon has been the first lunar cycle in a while that I lost grasp of. It felt more like remembering I’m 24 not 22. Remembering I live in Los Angeles and not some generic metropolitan city where young people congregate for a TV drama. It feels like a Monday but fresher, maybe a bit bloody, a proper hunter’s moon. Aries in all her fiery ram glory, ready to lunge with little persuasion...

I’ve been crying at work nearly every day for the last month. It’s been an inconsequential moment of my life, mirroring the depression switch that went off in my brain when I was thirteen. It was the last month or so of eighth grade. I remember sitting in the audience of our empty middle school theater on the opening day of our “senior” show. I cried like someone I loved had been shot in front of...

The following is a transcription of some of my new moon clarity. The song is how it felt to have the fog of my own nonsense finally clear stage to allow something new to take root. God bless the sick day haze. We're doing Virgo new moon manifestations. But the specific aspect of it, I wanted to record for, put down somewhere, but I'm not— I'm like, “I need to write this down.” I'm someone who gets...

Sometimes I sense how trapped my bones feel inside my body — pressed against muscle and veins, organs thumping, squeezing against the edge. Sometimes I have the urge to cough up bits of myself to give them a little room. Living fossils lodged inside of me, giving me form. I’m not comfortable these days. I didn’t realize it was getting to me until an enlightening therapy session. I sensed the rods...

In the last two months, I have been swept off my feet in the worst ways imaginable. Random losses, crises out of my control, stressful family dynamics, all with work’s daily grind in the background. I have been writing, thankfully, just nothing notable enough to share at the moment — a partial lie. I’ve written a few pieces I’m giddy to share in due time once I’ve given them due diligence. Despite...

It's more about […] surrendering and being […] open to receiving this next thing now that you've given up all these things that you may have wanted or you wished could have worked out. […] Things that, you know, just weren't good, that just weren't working that had to be let go, and maybe you let them go or they were forced out of your hands, doesn't really matter. […] And now we just kind of wait...

This week has been on one. I found myself deciding to step out of my shell and read some writing in front of people for the first time in a couple of years. Funnily, I love reading my work, which is why I’ve shifted towards the audio format for my posts. Reading in front of an audience is always a bit vulnerable for me, which is something I’m contending with. More on that later. Enjoy this piece I...

Hello again! I come bearing a message I created early last week. It was strangely timed, considering the hermit energy I was in. This weekend, I finally implemented it, and a garden has grown. We’re on our way up! This one is short and sweet, so I don’t have much to say for it. I hope it nudges you forward into the future. “We're able to and articulate truths more precisely when we share them with...

“We are on our journey, our path forward. We kind of know where we're going already, and it's […] more of a matter of trusting ourselves and the path forward versus getting caught up in the big grand pictures. […] When we're talking about sketching out the plan, [it] is less about trying to predict every possible thing that will happen and more about getting real about what we wanna focus on right...

As part of an experiment, I wanted to share a series of one-card readings and make a reinterpretation of the card to match. First up is Queen of Cups, who came out alongside the Tower. I was a little confused at first, but it became clear as I did the initial reading why she wanted the “mask off” energy emphasized. She was so serious that I didn’t record the first version of the reading, which I d...

“Our bodies are flashlights toward our ancestors” - Fariha Róisín I’ve been thinking hard about the person I am — I don’t know who that is and who I’d like to become next. This idea I'm playing with right now, this sense of impermanence, is because of a bit of an “ego crush” I had recently. “Crush” instead of “death” because my ego prevails but she is mangled, different. She’s hypercritical and sc...