Alchemy... from Effigy Press

Love triangles: that razor-thin line between heart-pounding drama and the literary equivalent of soggy toast. In our new episode, Tim & LeeAnna dig into why so many writers trip over plot holes, pace their story like a three-legged race, and expect readers to cheer for ‘Team Bland’ vs. ‘Team Blander.’ Spoiler: your audience deserves better. Let’s talk about how to actually make triangles burn...

Join Tim and LeeAnna as they contemplate your friend group: not so much a circle as a soap opera with bad lighting. One kiss, one breakup, and suddenly everyone’s starring in their own season finale. Plot twists pile up, alliances shift hourly, and Cupid’s arrows feel more like grenades. Welcome to ‘Cupid’s Murder Evidence Board.’ This podcast remains gloriously ad-free. No jingles, no discount co...

In this Alchemy episode, Tim & LeeAnna continue their dive into emotional turmoil with the second of two of Yeats’s most emotionally raw poems – He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven. Ah, the wreckage of unrequited love. As with all our podcasts, this episode is ad-free – because our advertiser, a manufacturer of custom-made Cloths of Heaven, has sadly gone out of business. Enjoy. He Dreams of th...

What if the woman you love isn’t yours to save, to burn, or to beg? What if your dreams were never her destination? In this Alchemy episode, Tim & LeeAnna dive into the first of two of Yeats’s most emotionally raw poems – No Second Troy and He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven – to explore the wreckage of unrequited love, the fine line between worship and resentment, and why offering your dreams...

Dating’s chaotic. So what if there were… standards? Like actual, published, reviewable standards. In this episode, Tim launches his idea of a “Dating Passport” – complete with Contracts of Integrity for Men and Women. LeeAnna reacts to Tim’s “Contract for Women of Integrity,” with an eyebrow raised so high it leaves orbit, and accuses Tim (lightheartedly, we hope) of sailing dangerously close to b...

So, you’ve tried navigating the dating landscape, but it still feels like trudging through a swamp while balancing on a high horse? Welcome back, where Tim & LeeAnna continue the love saga in the land of lukewarm puddles and underwhelming options. In this second part of “Love on a High Horse” the duo dives even deeper into the frustrations of modern romance—where expectations are sky-high, but...

When the dating pool feels more like a lukewarm puddle, and the effort-to-reward ratio just doesn’t add up... you might be dating from a high horse. In this episode, Tim & LeeAnna wade into the frustrations of modern romance – where expectations soar, options underwhelm, and no one’s driving 30 miles for emotional fast food. Tim also unveils his Seven Concentric Citadel Walls™ – a noble (and p...

In part 2 of "Love Unscripted | Be My Baby“ Tim and LeeAnna are back with more power dynamics, manipulation, and control – plus a dramatic reading from the fictional James and Alice that seems to be kinda weirdly controlling. Or is it? Why does Alice need to dress up as a cheerleader for James’ Superbowl party? Alchemy is ad free, as usual, But… you do need to know that the Alchemy Human Puppets w...

Power dynamics, manipulation, and control - oh my! This week (and next), Tim and LeeAnna plow through the ugly, messy reality of how control plays out in relationships. The subtle, often unnoticed ways people - mostly men - bend their partners to their will without even realizing it. In "Love Unscripted | Be My Baby", they explore the fine line between caring and controlling, uncovering uncomforta...

Ever wondered if AI could replace podcasters? Well, Tim and LeeAnna sure did... and the results are hilariously weird. In this podcast-within-a-podcast an AI-cloned Tim & an AI-cloned LeeAnna discuss a humorous post written by The Snark on AI-podcasting, and the real Tim takes us through the process of building this AI-podcast and his impressions of the peculiar results. We’re Ad-Free, But Her...

Welcome to part 2 of The Tragedy of the Incels, where Tim and LeeAnna continue to dive into the fascinating world of Incels - because why not tackle one of the internet’s favorite rage-fueled, basement-dwelling subcultures? They share their personal run-ins with incels, and hey, sounds like one of them might actually be the same guy - small world, huh? After that, we’ll take you on a little journe...

Ever wondered how deep resentment and unrequited love can spiral into a self-destructive cult of bitterness? Join Tim and LeeAnna as they dive into the fascinating, cringeworthy world of incels – the involuntary celibates who somehow think blaming women for their lack of romantic success is a viable strategy. In this first part of a two-parter, our podcasters explore the tangled mess of low self-e...

Tithonus | Love and the Curse of Immortality What happens when love doesn’t just survive the test of time - but is cursed by it? In our latest episode of Alchemy, Tim and LeeAnna dive into the tragic myth of Tithonus, where immortality isn’t the gift it seems to be. Immortal, but “forever aging”? Sounds like a nightmare, right? Tithonus got his wish to never die, but what he didn’t get was “eterna...

Is your relationship more "Fix It" or "Forget It?" Well, Tim and LeeAnna are back to help you navigate the emotional minefield of love, with a heavy dose of snark and some seriously practical advice. Whether you’re a writer looking to add some depth to your fictional couples or just a human who’s had one too many “whataboutism” blow-ups, this episode is for you! We’re talking “bids for connection”...

Ever wonder what happens when love goes off the rails? Join Tim and LeeAnna as they break down the Four Horsemen of relationships: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. Spoiler: It’s not pretty. From jabs of criticism to emotional retreat, we’ve got your guide to the worst relationship habits - and how to write them without setting your characters on fire (well, not immediately). G...

This week on Alchemy, Tim and LeeAnna crack open the hood of modern romance to show us what love looks like when it’s firing on all cylinders… or stalling dramatically on the freeway of emotional dysfunction. There’s uncooperative metaphors, romantic pedicures, and more dramatic readings than a middle school production of 'Twilight’ – plus quite a lot of awkward giggling. Buckle up, folks. The emo...

Welcome to the Alchemy’s podcast, where Tim and LeeAnna take on The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock - the ultimate guide to how not to face your feelings (or do much of anything, really). Along the way: dead Popes, risqué Bible passages, a prophecy about the death of podcasting, and one balding, peach-fearing romantic in freefall. Come for the poetry, stay for the existential dread - and maybe bri...

In this episode of Alchemy, Tim and LeeAnna set sail through the Love Archipelago, exploring the rocky islands of human emotion. First stop: “Desire and Disappointment” - where we chase love but find out we’re way better at the chase than the actual thing. Then, onto “Love as an Existential Completeness” - the soulmate myth that feels more like a trap than true connection. Finally, “Love as Animal...

Let’s face it: Life is a constant mess of contradictions. Freedom feels great… until it leaves you with a heap of regret. Love makes you feel like you’re on top of the world… right before it takes you down a peg (or ten). In our latest Alchemy Podcast episode, Tim and LeeAnna dive headfirst into some of the most mind-boggling human paradoxes: freedom vs. control, love’s highest highs and lowest lo...

In this Alchemy Short n’ Sweet episode, Tim and LeeAnna delve into the joy of a crisis made so much worse by the person who panics – do they want to be center of attention, or is it their emotional fragility, or (better yet) both? Writers, sharpen your pencils. Non-writers, stay tuned anyway—and relive your own crises in safety. Of course, as with all our podcasts, we’ve spared you the temptation...

Welcome to the Alchemy’s podcast, where Tim and LeeAnna dive into small talk: Because sometimes “Nice weather, huh?” is just foreplay for a breakdown. So, small talk—the supposedly pointless filler that’s actually a prehistoric survival ritual in disguise. Along the way, there are missing spoons, tragic muffin chats, and the science behind why your brain syncs with strangers before plotting its es...

This week on Alchemy… socks vanish into another dimension, jean jackets are judged, and Tim presents 9 rules for meeting people that sound suspiciously like a list of personal grievances. LeeAnna insists you smile, Tim insists you don’t talk loudly on your cellphone, and together they explore what really happens when two human animals meet for the first time—and how writers can use that awkward ma...

Welcome to the Alchemy’s podcast, where Tim and LeeAnna dive deep into the “weirdness beneath our skin”—because, honestly, who doesn’t love a good rabbit hole? LeeAnna kicks things off with a chicken-herding dog persecuted in Cuba, Tim responds bravely with a hamster April First prank, LeeAnna reveals her ‘mutant redhead’ powers, and we take a detour into alchemical madness, because why not? We’re...

Jump into Alchemy’s 25th episode, where we’re tackling aliens, existential dread, and... hamster funerals? From the mind-bending “Xir” aliens (designed by The Snark) to snack-obsessed invaders and animatronic space creatures, Tim and LeeAnna take you on a wild, wild journey that will make you question everything—including your pet burial rituals. Buckle up—it’s weird, it’s deep, and it’s sometimes...

In this bizarre part 1 of “Take Me to Your Writer”, Tim and LeeAnna take you on a wild ride through alien design, existential dread, and… dead hamsters? That’s right—what starts as a conversation about building truly terrifying extraterrestrials quickly morphs into a tangent-filled exploration of hamster deaths, claustrophobia, and the kind of fears that make you wonder if we’re really ready to me...