After the Affair

In this 50th episode of "After the Affair," I take a look at the complexities of reentering the dating scene after experiencing betrayal. It's uncharted territory for many, laden with emotional landmines and haunting questions about trust. But as your host, Luke Shillings, I'll guide you through this daunting yet crucial phase in your healing journey.  We kick off the episode by exploring how to n...

In today's episode of 'After the Affair,' I uncover the often unspoken but pervasive issue that many betrayed partners grapple with: the Victim Mentality. Feeling like a victim is an easy trap to fall into after experiencing betrayal, but it's also a trap that can hinder your recovery and personal growth. Join me as I unravel: 1️⃣ The Danger of Victim Mentality: Understand how adopting a victim mi...

In this episode of "After the Affair," host I am joined by guest Faust Ruggiero to discuss the importance of accountability and personal growth after a breakup. We delve into the complexities of relationships, infidelity, and the impact on our sense of identity. Join us as we explore practical strategies for moving forward and finding internal strength to create a fulfilling and empowered life. Fa...

In this episode, I try to get a better understanding of those who cheat and how it affects the healing process after betrayal. Join me Luke Shillings as I uncover the emotions, justifications, and pain behind acts of infidelity. I dive into the mindset of the cheater, exploring the grey areas that often go overlooked. Remember, understanding does not equate to condoning, but it opens the door to a...

In this episode of After the Affair, join me Luke Shillings as I welcome divorce and custody attorney Heather O'Connor to share her personal journey and professional expertise. Heather discusses the challenges and emotional complexities of divorce, highlighting the importance of seeking guidance and support during this difficult process. She shares personal experiences, provides practical advice,...

Stuck with the stench of your ex's lover? In this controversial episode of 'After the Affair,' I dive into the dirty laundry and explore how to cleanse your life of the lingering presence of the affair partner. Join me, Luke Shillings, as I share my story, tools and strategies to air out the fallout and reclaim your space, your peace, and your life.   Let's go! Website: https://www.lifecoachluke.c...

In this episode of After the Affair, I'm joined by Jennifer Jehl. Jenn helps men create next-level confidence by discovering their deepest selves in order to live with freedom & fulfilment. She addresses the self-blame that many men experience after an affair. We speak about the impact of significant life changes on their sense of identity as husbands, family men, and fathers. Jenn shares her...

In this week's episode, I look into the intricate ways people process emotions, influenced by their unique experiences, upbringing, and societal expectations. Emphasizing the common patterns of emotional avoidance and the search for external validation, I dissect these methods, illustrating how they prevent genuine emotional processing and prevent us from getting what we want. Considering some of...

In this episode, I have the pleasure of speaking with Furkhan Dandia. Furkhan is a therapist, author, speaker and coach. After going through adversity and working in the corporate world as an Engineer for many years, Furkhan decided to pivot and pursue a Master's in Psychology. He is passionate about making a difference in people’s lives and working with them to find their purpose. Going through a...

In the latest episode of "The After the Affair", join me as I navigate the treacherous waters of sudden change post-infidelity. This change can leave us feeling disoriented and desperate for control, but what if we changed our perspective? What if we chose to view this alteration not as a disastrous upheaval but as a challenging opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery? As I venture into...

When we see things that aren't right in our relationships and have no idea how to fix them ... the easiest thing to do is look around and see what everyone else is doing. We spend most of our lives trying to figure stuff out by comparison. The problem with this is, 'comparison is the thief of joy'. We are left feeling like we aren't good enough, or our partners aren't good enough. If only they wou...

In the aftermath of an affair, the path to healing is often paved with self-reflection and inner exploration. Join me as I delve into the depths of what I call "EmpathMe", a concept that shines a light on the darker side of self-empathy. In this podcast episode, I explore the complexities of navigating the aftermath of betrayal, revealing the challenges and breakthroughs that come with self-unders...

In this captivating podcast episode, join me for a breakthrough conversation with the brilliant creator behind the relationship card game, 'Better Topics'. Discover how this innovative game is revolutionizing communication within couples and fostering stronger connections. Through thought-provoking questions, exciting challenges, and rewarding experiences, the game serves as a catalyst for meaning...

Explore the intricate layers of personal identity in this captivating episode of "Identity - Who am I now?" Join me as I navigate the complex interplay of culture, introspection, and major life events that shape who we are. As I share some of my own stories, I'll take a closer look at what creates our self-perception. I aim to help you reflect on my own identity, gain valuable insights, and embrac...

Join me in a fascinating discussion with Tamika Carlton about what Data Tells Us About Couples Retreats & Why It Matters (aka what happens when science + love combine). It’s more than just intimacy, partnership, or even challenges. Data shows the impact of relationships on our lives, and a study published by the U.S. Travel Association found that seven in 10 couples who travel together say talking...

Reject Compromise: Rethinking Resolution in Relationships challenges conventional wisdom around conflict resolution, focusing specifically on the concept of compromise. In this thought-provoking episode, I explore alternative ways of addressing disagreements that promote mutual understanding and satisfy both parties' core needs, proving that compromising isn't always the best route to harmony. Tun...

Resentment and bitterness are common feelings after you have been betrayed. They are easy to justify and really seem to help alleviate all responsibility.  In this episode, you'll learn how these two emotions are closely related to your own self-trust, what potential pitfalls that can cause, and how to do something about it. Got a question? Send it to luke@lifecoachluke.com Want to have a chat and...

Join me in this episode as I explore the lesser-known world of Quantum Energy Healing with Forgiveness expert, Nicole Harvick. She believes all healing must start with Self-Forgiveness. Some of the modalities that she uses in her healing practice include Reiki, Sound Therapy, Cellular Memory Healing, and Mild Hypnosis. She can pinpoint stuck energies from ancestral or childhood trauma which need t...

When you have witnessed behaviour in your partner that you don't like, how regularly do you use that as a template to judge many of their future behaviours? This episode focuses on exploring the impact of negative thinking on our lives and relationships. I share a story of self-judgement and I examine the role of negativity in relationships and offer strategies for cultivating a more positive outl...

Taking responsibility is a message we hear more and more, but where do we start?  In this episode, I look at some of the methods I have used personally to improve my own self-awareness and what the true benefits of each are. Also included is a short but effective grounding exercise you can use today (Just not whilst you are driving!) To learn more about me and how I can help, visit www.lifecoachlu...

Join me whilst I delve into the dark side of technology and its impact on infidelity. With the rise of social media, dating apps, and messaging platforms, it has become easier than ever to connect with people outside of committed relationships. But at what cost? I explore the way in which technology is facilitating infidelity, from secret social media accounts to encrypted messaging apps and the e...

Feeling love towards others is a choice that we often overlook. Choosing negative thoughts and emotions towards people who do not meet our expectations only hurts us, and it is crucial to understand that we have control over how we feel towards someone else.  In this episode, I share an example of how we can choose to love someone regardless of what they do or do not do, and any feeling is always...

In this episode, I explore the common cycles of pain and mistrust that often accompany healing from infidelity. Cycles and patterns show up in many different ways and often they are unintended. Through personal stories and expert insights, I discuss strategies for breaking free from these cycles and rebuilding trust in yourself and your relationships.   Contact: luke@lifecoachluke.com Learn more:...

In this episode, I sit down with David Redbord, a self-worth expert, to discuss how to redefine self-worth and cultivate a healthy sense of self-esteem. David shares his expertise of how to overcome self-doubt and offers practical tips for building a stronger sense of self. We explore the effects infidelity has on your own self worth. David's candid and compassionate approach to self-improvement i...

In this week's episode, I delve into the secrets of being an infidelity coach and how I help couples and individuals navigate the aftermath of betrayal. From rebuilding trust to addressing the root causes of the infidelity, I share insights on how to heal and move forward in a healthy way. Plus I also answer questions about the biggest myths of infidelity and what has suprised me most along the wa...