Addiction Makes Three

If you’ve spent the past year holding everything together while your loved one's addiction has chipped away at your energy, your hope, and your sense of self, this episode is for you. In this raw, honest conversation, we look back at the year you’ve survived . Not minimising it. Not pretending it was “fine.” Not brushing it off because “it used to be worse.” This episode gently and truthfully name...

Part 6 of the Holiday Series If you’ve lived through more than one chaotic December, you’ve probably told yourself: “Christmas will only be okay if he’s sober.” “Maybe this year will be different… if he sticks to what he promised.” In this bonus episode of the Holiday Series, I am sharing the part nobody really tells spouses and families of someone struggling with addiction: Your experience of Chr...

Part 5 of the Holiday Series This episode is the deep breath you didn’t know you needed. If you’re heading into December telling yourself, “I’ll be fine… I’ve done this before… I can handle it,” this one is for you. Because the truth is: ✨ You have handled too much. ✨ Your body is bracing, even if you’re pretending you’re okay. ✨ And you absolutely do not have to repeat another year of emotiona...

Part 4 of the Holiday Mini-Series When your loved one's drinking, substance use, sobriety or recovery feels unpredictable, it can start to feel like everything is out of your hands, the mood, the energy in the house, whether plans go ahead or blow up, whether Christmas feels magical or like a minefield. This episode is for the lovely person who feels like they are bracing 24/7, waiting for the nex...

Part 3 of the Holiday Mini-Series This episode dives into something most people will never understand unless they’ve lived it: You aren’t just planning Christmas. You’re planning Christmas around a loved ones addiction. While the rest of the world is thinking menus, Secret Santa, outfits and photos… you’re quietly assessing risk, predicting behaviour, managing expectations, rehearsing backup...

A special Holiday Series Episode 2 of 5 If you wake up already bracing yourself… wondering which “version” of your loved one you’ll get today, this episode will feel like someone finally naming the thing you’ve been silently living. This is the emotional whiplash of loving someone whose drinking, drug use or behaviour shifts without warning. And during the holidays? It hits even harder. In this ep...

Today’s episode kicks off a special 5-part holiday series created for spouses and families whose Christmas looks nothing like the picture-perfect scenes on social media or in the Hallmark Movies. If your loved one’s drinking or addiction makes the season feel unpredictable… If everyone assumes you’re fine… If you’re holding the entire holiday together while silently bracing for chaos… This episode...

There’s a moment in every addiction-impacted relationship where you realise… it’s not just their drinking/drug use/gambling etc that’s changing the family, it’s changing you too. You don’t plan for it. You don’t see it coming. And when it happens, the shame of it stays in your chest for years. Today I’m sharing a story I’ve never fully talked about publicly, the moment I completely lost it, the mo...

Have you ever looked at yourself and thought… “I don’t even recognise who I am anymore?” If so, this episode will feel like someone finally turned the lights on in a dark room you’ve been sitting in for years. When you love someone whose drinking or using creates chaos, unpredictability or emotional instability, it doesn’t just change them . It slowly, quietly, painfully changes you too. And one d...

What if the change you’ve been waiting for has nothing to do with your loved one and everything to do with you? If your partner’s addiction has taken over your life, it’s easy to slip into survival mode: waiting for the next crisis, hoping this time things will magically improve, telling yourself you’ll feel better once they finally change. But here’s the truth: nothing changes if nothing changes....

You’ve probably heard it a thousand times, “they just need to hit rock bottom.” But what if that’s the very idea keeping you both stuck? When someone you love is struggling with addiction, it’s easy to believe that “rock bottom” is what will finally make them change. We’ve been told it by friends, family, even therapists, that things have to get bad enough before they get better. But here’s the tr...

If your loved one says they’re sober but part of you still isn’t sure, this episode is for you. After living through lies, gaslighting, and constant second-guessing, rebuilding trust can feel impossible. You want to believe them. You want your relationship to work. But you’re also exhausted from checking, doubting, and playing detective. In this episode, Addiction Relationship Coach Amanda Lockyer...

When your loved one says they’re sober but you still smell alcohol, feel uneasy, or can’t shake that gut feeling, you’re not crazy. In this episode, I unpack what happens after the lies, after rehab, and after the chaos settles. I explain why it’s so hard to feel calm, how broken trust shows up in your body, and why believing yourself is the first step toward healing, not policing your partne...

Everyone says, “They just need to go to rehab.” And maybe they do. But no one talks about what happens to the person left at home once they finally do. In this honest episode, Addiction Relationship Coach Amanda Lockyer shares what really happens on the other side of rehab. The emotional whiplash, the relief mixed with resentment, and why it’s completely normal to feel angry, confused, or even jea...

When you’re the one holding everything together, the house, the kids, the finances, the emotional whiplash and fallout, it’s no wonder you’re exhausted. Loving someone who struggles with alcohol or drugs can quickly take over your life. You keep going because stopping feels dangerous, like everything might collapse if you let go for a second. In this episode, Amanda shares what “the paus...

Navigating perimenopause while living with a spouse struggling with addiction can feel like too much. Because it is, in fact, too much. In this episode, Amanda shares why these two experiences collide, how it impacts your emotions and nervous system, and what real support looks like so you can start feeling calm and in control again If you’re navigating perimenopause while also living with a partn...

What if the stories we’ve been told about addiction recovery, rock bottom, tough love, they have to want it themselves... are only half the truth? In this episode, Amanda sits down with Conrad Tracey, founder of Addiction Coaching Australia, to unpack the outdated myths that keep people stuck, and reveal what real, sustainable recovery actually looks like. Together they explore the messy middle of...

You love them and you’re exhausted. One day there’s hope, the next there’s heartbreak. And the question won’t stop circling your mind: Should I stay, or should I leave? In this episode, Amanda helps you step off the exhausting mental treadmill of “what ifs” and find solid ground again. You’ll learn: Why both staying and leaving are hard The real question you need to ask instead How doing your own...

What if you’re grieving someone who’s still alive? In this episode, Amanda explains living grief, the hidden heartbreak of loving someone in addiction. Learn why it feels confusing, how grief shows up in your body, and gentle ways to begin healing without losing yourself. It’s the tension between hope and heartbreak. Between who they were and who they are now. You can love them and still grieve th...

You’ve sniffed laundry, counted bottles, checked phones, screenshotted bank statements. Me too. You’re not crazy, you’re trying your best to cope the only way you know how. In this episode, I unveil my long list of whack and unhinged behaviour and unpack why the “detective mode” makes sense and why it’s quietly breaking you, and how to step out of it with compassion. You’ll learn: The gaslighting...

They’ve got a good job. They pay the bills. They make people laugh. So how could this be addiction, right? That’s what we tell ourselves. Until being high-functioning for them starts feeling like being high-alert for you . In this raw and honest episode, Amanda pulls back the curtain on one of the most misleading labels in addiction: “high-functioning.” You’ll learn: Why “holding it all together”...

Are you overwhelmed, resentful, or carrying everyone else’s chaos? Those are not personality traits, they’re signs you need new boundaries. In this episode, you’ll learn: 4 common signs it’s time to set new or better boundaries. Why resentment is your body’s boundary alarm. How over-functioning and people-pleasing (tendencies) keep you stuck. The heartbreaking cost of neglecting yourself. How boun...

Ever found yourself holding your breath when the front door opens? Or Googling at 2am, ‘Is my partner an alcoholic?’ before deleting the search? You’re not crazy, these are the blurry early signs of addiction. And today, we’re naming a few of them. What you’ll learn in this episode: The subtle early signs of addiction you might be overlooking. Why denial (yours and theirs) keeps you stuck. How beh...

The middle of the night. The house is quiet. You’re scrolling with the brightness turned down low, Googling questions you never thought you’d type: “Is drinking every night normal?” “Why does he lie about it?” “Am I overreacting?” If that’s you, this episode will feel like an exhale. In this conversation, I dive into: Why those late-night Google searches are already a sign something’s not okay The...

You’re trying to love someone through addiction and you’re exhausted . Because helping someone you love should feel good… right? In this episode, I go deeper on the conversation from Episode 19 and talk about the confusing, messy, emotionally-charged reality of trying to “help” someone impacted by addiction. You’ll hear: How to tell if your “support” is actually costing you your health, peace, or...