Accursed Readings

Kagome goes to Hogwarts - Chapter 9 OMG - It's Hagrid behind Harry. Who would have thought. Apparently, we're still obsessing about the lack of adult supervision. So they decide to go to the Weasley shop, Kagome kinda learns about who-know-who, and she then splits from the group to meet Draco and go to an unnamed, evil shop before returning home with Draco and learning that Death Eaters ar...

Kagome goes to Hogwarts - Ch. 24 They open the vault. Much wow. There's a well, and also somehow money even though there's no money?  The train leaves the vault and suddenly Harry needs an adult. Then we meet Ron, find out the wand shop is closed, and then surprise person?

Our newly formed trio goes to get robes, where Kagome finally realizes she's a broke ass bitch. Draco and his unnamed mother are in the store as well. Obviously, no one gets along, and something about a needle holed? They decide to go to the bank to get money for Kagome, and somehow the Shikon Jewel is 'magically' the key. (Also: they train go very fast.) Chapter link: HERE

Chapter 6! We meet Harry Potter. OMG! Harry and Draco don't get along! Shocking! Draco and Kagome "fight", and then Kagome goes to the "snake place" with Harry for a butterbeer and banana spilt, and the most boring conversation ever until Hermione appears. Which then moves that conversation into the 2nd most boring conversation. 

This riveting chapter features the reveal of Voldemort's half-brother, Draco and Kagome sleeping and then getting ready, and their trip to Diagon Ally where you'll never guess who they meet! Kill me now.

Welcome to Chapter 4! Kagome gets told she's weak by a demon in a dream. Oh no, the scares! Draco checks on her, pillow fight, Dark Lord has a brother?

Chapter 3 - Kagome goes swimming with Draco and the Anonymous Boys.  Diving broads, backflips, much wow. We find out the tragic fight between Kagome and Inuyasha that ended it all! Also, Kagome has Charmed powers now because why not, and then the notorious Muggle-hating family has a Muggle party. Chapter 3: LINK

This may be the most boring thing you'll ever listen to. Listen to the bland "descriptions" of Kagome being transported to the Malfoy Manor, and watch her room redecoration. Magical. Oh. And there's a pool. Chapter 2: HERE

Welcome to the start of our new saga, Kagome goes to Hogwarts! Watch as some of your possible favorites from childhood are ruined. See the most descriptive letter ever delivered by the litter birdie. Chapter 1: LINK

How to describe the atrocity we're reading for you... If My Immortal had a brain-dead baby with a pre-teen Crit Role fanfic writer, then this would probably be the result. LINK

Stories covered in this special are: Foever Love by AngeryFlame - We read what is possibly one of the worst Inuyasha fanfictions ever written, jam-packed full of action, errors, and WTFness. Dobby The House-Elf Loves His Sock by Rule394 - ...Dobby is a free elf. Dobby and the Beast by HortensiaDionysius - Incorrect spell usage led to us not being able to finish due to certain... restrictions. Fini...

The Final Chapter for Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles! I mean, what did you expect? There's screaming, and children, and Voldemort hedonistically explaining his Feminist/Evolutionist perspective to The Reverend Dumbledore. Yeah...

This weeks episode titled: "A Visitor to Hogwarts!" Dean Thomas continues his goal of being the plainest, most boring character to ever exist. Ron is re-absorbed into the Weasley family, and Voldemort shows up in his eco-car to be the thirst-trap we all desire! #pray4thereverendswife

The much anticipated pray-off! Boys on their knees in the courtyard shouting to the void. You'll be shocked who wins.

The most action-packed chapter yet! Chapter 11: " A Challenge! " Learned such important things such as the Catholic church hates Catholics, all women want to have babies and be a housewife, Draco's dramaticness is chefs-kiss, and Snape got them muscular thighs!  These are the key takeaways from this chapter.

Welcome to this week's episode, titled " Dangerous Days Are Here! " Chapter 10 in which DG promises to retain her cool, and loses it around the 5th paragraph. Old Voldy is at Hogwarts, Dean Thomas is still bland, and DG wants one of Hagrid's famous cookies. Should we mention the self-victimization?

Welcome to Ch. 9: " A Letter At Dinner! " Don't let the title fool you; there is no excitement. Meet Dean Thomas, the world's most bland character, and angelic postmen for no reason.

Chapter 8 of HSPM, we discuss the misogyny (make sure to listen for DG's pronunciation), Snape's apparently a silver-fox, and watch our souls die as Voldemort is finally brought into the discussion. *double-gasp* Ch. 8

Suffering through Ch. 7 "Wheat and Chaff". How is Harry this conceited? What the hell, Snape? Poor Sprout. Send help.

Welcome back! This week's chapter is titled "Sorting Hats!"  We find out the official description of Hufflepuff and Slytherin, and theoretically Ravenclaw but it is not actually defined, and Harry makes his big decision! #hufflepuff4thewin

Welcome to Chapter 5, titled "A New Friend?". We meet Ronald Weasley, Harry's new roommate! And lastly, Dead Girl finally cracks. Chapter 5: LINK

Reading Chapter 4 titled "Dangerous Days Ahead!"  Optional drinking game: Drink for each semi-colon, but WARNING: YOU MAY DIE. Keep some water handy, just in case. Would add additional warnings, but you should know better by now. Chapter 4: LINK

This week's episode is Chapter 3, "Dinnertime!".  Drinking game for this chapter: Drink every time there is a semi colon. At least they talk about eating, and we get introduced to a "new" character! Are you durnk eyt? Chapter 3: LINK

In our second episode, we read Chapter 2 titled "New Horizons" in our ongoing saga to slog through Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles ). Dead Girl felt the need to include the story name as is. Also, here is the link to this masterpiece for you to read yourself!  C hapter 2: LINK You still got those drinks handy, right?

Our inaugural episode of Accursed Readings, we are reading Chapter 1 of (insert fanfic name here). May God have mercy on your soul. Apologies in advance for "Roomie/PBnJ's" audio. Working to fix this immediately for future episodes! Chapter 1: LINK