Absolutely Not

On this episode of the absolutely not podcast, Heather is chatting with her ball busting, criminal defense attorney, big sis, Ashley. Also known as the Georgia Law Lady, she helps Heather break down some of y'alls most intense Voice Mails to date... such as... "Why doesn't Mcdonald's give out free mac sauce on the side?!!!" They are single handedly changing the world for the better with each bit o...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather interviews Kate Kennedy of the "Be There in Five" podcast. It's their one-year anniversary since they met and now everything is coming full circle with these two ding dongs. They discuss how Tik Tok has taken over their lives, Being locked up with their dogs and Kate explains her emotional investment into Taylor Swift. They bitch about just ho...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather breaks down her trip to Florida and is coming in guns hot after Robin Hijacks the episode. She hits the hotline and lemme tell you what, y'all are bitching more than ever! These calls are getting downright ridonkulous and we're here for it!    Get 10% off your first order and free shipping when you use promo code absolutley, only at Brooklinen...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather catches you up to speed on her Hollywood ventures, buying a car from the Patriarchy and taking your Voicemails. We are getting dumber as the year goes on and it's very apparent by the shit y'all have called in with this week! Were already in August but it feels like this has been the longest year ever....Lord help us and save us from ourselves...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her hippie trip to Asheville North Carolina, where she experienced Satan at work. Between the Dog fights, Spiritual reads, and kids falling in manholes, it was a wild, but much needed ride outta town. The hotline is buzzing with insane calls of women just truly at their wits ends! The prayer circle just got tighter because the onl...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather has her friend Big Daddy Raymond Padilla in town, fresh off his high horse from his luxury villa in Nantucket. He has decided to run for mayor, in a town he has never lived in - typical Ray. He is bringing all the judgement and heat, per usual, with an added side of SASS. These two giggle and argue on this episode!    Head over to NoDaysWasted...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather has her hilarious and ball-busting sister, Ashley, also known as the Georgia Law Lady in the studio. They discuss their fucked up genes, what it was like growing up with Robin and Kyle as parents and how the hell are they gonna convince Robin to drink more water. When these two ding-dongs of sisters get together its giggles non-stop and the dum...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather answers your pressing questions, like "Should my baby have their own instagram account", "Do you watch military return videos?" " Are you a swinger", and "Would you wear a penis sash on your bachelorette"..... ya know hardcore journalism kinda questions. Heather updates you on her virtual show and talks about truly the dumbest shit ever.. that...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is anxious and over caffeinated but doing her best to hold on to the future. The Voicemails this week are dumber than ever, but it doesn't stop Heather from losing her fucking mind. She loves you for calling in and remember, turn your AC off and roll your windows up if you're calling from the car! LOL! That and more on this week's episode!   ...

Heather is back in the studio, aka her Mom's "Office" with her Tour Producer, Chris Ketner. Since they can't be on the road together touring the world, the convo has taken a wild turn to REAL TALK TOWN. The discuss their lack of sex education in School, how Tik Tok is keeping them formed on Conspiracy Theories and how much they miss slinging drinks for old Broads at brunch in 2010 in Hell's Kitche...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather takes a few calls from the new Hot spot of Florida and tries to figure out what the hell is going on. Were not even halfway through the year, and yet truly no one knows what this year has become/is/was/will be. She's hoping for a bright future but fingers crossed the insane voicemails on the hotline will brighten your day and make you giggle! ...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather hops back on the VoiceMails and legit LOL's till the cows come home. Y'all have taken it to another level. She discusses the chaos of living in construction, her concern for the environment and just general anxieties that keep her up... ya know amongst the covid, social injustices and impending meteor showers... That and more on the pod!    Go...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather takes a moment to pause and very bluntly let everyone know that if you are a racist, the unfollow button is easy. Bye Bye,Sir. We will not put up with that Bullshit here! We get back to giggling and have an honest discussion of whats going on in the world today and how we can be a part of the change. Of course we get to the Absolutely Not line...

On this episode of the absolutely not podcast Heather shares the psychological torture she endures everyday living with Diva Red in lockup. These two are in the words of MegtheStallion “savage, classy, bougie, ratchet”. This is just the tip of the iceberg! That and more!     Go to zola.com/absolutelynot today and use promo code SAVE50 to get fifty- percent off your save the dates!   Go to talkspac...

On this solo episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is falling apart at the thin ankles, literally. With a burnt taint, a rolled ankle and nothing to do, she has hit a new LEVEL OF NOPE. She cant even record this episode without her mom walking into the office to make it about her....typical Robin. If you thought the voicemails were wild last week, wait till you hear that the crazies have...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather relives her emotional journey after having hot coffee spilled on her vagina in the Starbucks Drive-Thru. The Grundle is crispy, the attitude is sassy and for some reason she is super thirsty.....ya know like actually thirsty. Heather hits the Absolutely Not line and from this batch of voicemails its ABSOLUTELY apparent that everyone has lost t...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather decides to flip the script on Love and find out whats been happening to her single friends during LOVE, LOCKED UP RAW! Just because we are in quarantine doesn't mean people aren't still trying to find the one, or just send penis pics, and she is here to get the scoop from the opposite sex. Her dear friend and former elementary flame, Tommy Bar...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has dear friend and fellow shit talker extraordinaire, Jackie Schimmel in the studio. They both look as equally hideous on zoom as they do in person, so no surprise there. The girls discuss trying to stay motivated, where they are on the emotional roller coaster that is quarantine and how much they are both starting to literally hate, well, EV...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast,  Heather is sweating from the leather couch in her Mom's basement and has a whole lot of attitude. She is hitting the hotline hard and taking your calls from quarantine. Since we are all just trying to survive and giggle a little this episode is especially silly and sweaty... did I mention how sweaty she is. That and more on this episode of Absolutely...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather interviews her sister from another mister, Fashion Icon and fellow podcast host, Pia Baroncini. These two have eerily similar lives that have led them both to marrying Italians and moving back in with their moms. They discuss the character building days of  slinging drinks in NYC to losing their dads and moving into their childhood homes. Pia...

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather is joined by the Georgia Law Lady herself, Ashley McMahan. They may be sisters.... more of a Kourtney and Khloe kinda relationship if you will. Two McMahan's in one room is always a wild time, but as soon as these two hot tots start hashing out stories about their family life, things will finally make sense. It's obvious they were both old eggs from when...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with her fra-t daddy- ding -dong comedian friend, Andrew Collin. He's been on the podcast before and now that he has been cooped up in his Brooklyn Apartment he's extra bitter with a side of ridiculousness. Truly a one-of-a-kind conversation. They discuss being "locked up raw" How they are coping with the anxiety and whats next on the bo...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits in quarantine with her Italian Stallion, Jeff Daniels. Since every single thing he is doing has been driving her up a fucking Ficus tree, she figured it would be a great time to air out their grievances for the whole world through couples therapy, aka this podcast. They discuss their upcoming or maybe forever cancelled nuptials and really...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is coming to ya LIVE! from Atlanta, Georgia. She took the Oregon Trail to escape NYC in this wild time were living in and realized after all is said and done, she might run for city council...... or maybe just he head of her mom's Home Owners Association. We are gonna giggle and gossip on this episode because let's be honest, what ELSE is ther...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Raymond Padilla, Heather's half Chinese, half Mexican, but 100% full of shit bff, is back again to break down his most recent trials and tribulations, his pending apartment eviction. After being accosted by a  nutter butter neighbor and bamboozled by a his HOT landlord, were cracking the case of this legal situation. It's a shit show and don't we know...