Absolutely Not

   On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather sits down with her favorite grumpy old man- comedian Andrew Collin. They dissect his new life living with a lady, reminisce on Spring Break in Destin and he helps Heather understand why Jeff packed a scale in his carry-on.      Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLU...

   On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews the queens of the southern hair empire, Salty Locks, Britt and Amber Harrington. They discuss working with family, a female run business and explain why the alligators near the nuclear plant in Augusta got 3 legs and an attitude. These girls mean business while also keeping it real country and that's why we love them!      Athlet...

       On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with her genuine friend, Jackie Schimmel. They discuss their summer plans to move to Europe, Eat all the food, lay horizontal and release their aggression on innocent bystanders through shoving and pushing tourists. It's unhinged, it's dialed in and it's insane.    Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather has had a fully mental breakdown from the complete shitshow that has been her wedding prep. She has finally turned into one of THOSE brides and is about to hoard the wedding gifts and tell everyone to fuck off. Honestly- she's probably spending too much time in her sauna bag and its quickly kiling off her brain cells- but who is even paying at...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather hits the hotline- only to double down on the fact that women might be the REAL scammers. We've got a lady running an ER out of her garage, A time traveler, a handful of bad drivers and a sweet woman named Abby prepping for a colonoscopy- All that and more!    Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launc...

 On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her final farewell tour performance. Just when she thought it was time to get an IV drip of propofol for her medically induced coma, her friends throw her a surprise party filled with drag queens, secrets and snacks! Heather breaks down what a wild week its been and also hits the Absolutely Not Line and more!    Go to athleticgre...

 On this episode of the Absolutely not podcast, Heather is letting you know, School is out for summer and bitch we are fully booked! It doesn't matter if you are hustlin' as a lifeguard, taking the kids to camp or treating yourself to a hoagie by the highway, Summer 2023 bout to be on and poppin!    Visit Brooklinen.com and use Promo code [absolutelynot] for $20 off your purchase of $100   Right n...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather takes you down memory lane and drives you right into the "Core MeMories" of your childhood- from the sheer joy you'd feel on a field trip day, to the sadness you felt if your mom was late to chaperone- It's a whirlwind of emotion and its all flooding back after hitting the Absolutely Not Line.    Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free...

 On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back south of the border from her weekend of shows in Toronto. After getting held up at the border, listening to a threesome all night and crushing an international Nordstrom- she lives to tell about it- We also have a surprise appearance from Robin McMahan to spill the tea on the latest suburbian drama!    Get 5% off + a free Pique sample...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is back in the LA studios fresh from a midwest weekend on tour. She's working, but apparently not enough to save her from being humbled in a burger joint by general manager who takes his job REAL serious.   Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is back from a 3-day bender on the West coast. She saw a mormon trying to escape in Salt Lake, a man with a neck tat cry in Phoenix and a drive-by in Sacramento. Three amazing shows but spilling all the tea, with Tina T.    Visit Brooklinen.com and use Promo code [absolutelynot] for $20 off your purchase of $100   Go to DRINKOLIPOP.com/ABSOLUT...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is celebrating the Rising of the lord, with some street safety tips and life advice. She is so full of knowledge and shit at the same time it's alarming. She hits the Absolutely-NOT-Line  to solve some of y'alls problems and realizes you all need a lot more than Jesus.    Check out Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re r...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has on her man of honor, Raymond Padilla, and they give you a play by play of how they scammed their way into the Masters this weekend. There were a lot of chicken salad sandwiches and white wine to be had, but most importantly they learned about themselves.    Get 5% off + a free Pique sampler pack (with 6 of their best-selling flavors) when...

On this roller coaster of an episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is back in the LA studios. She talks about her wedding woes, nightmares and THAT guy at the gym - then hits the hotline to save the world, one problem at time.    Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from the Boca Yacht Club and has decided she needs to be on the intercoastal with Annie Hathaway & some old dude from New Jersey. She spent a weekend on Spring Break, not by choice. She also hits the hotline and answers life's dumbest questions.   Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelysnot for $20 off your purchase of $...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from a magical midwest weekend. She had a tour stop in Tulsa and Omaha and in between had one of the creepiest Airline lounge experiences of her life. But in true McMahan fashion, Heather slays the Absolutely Nots while keeping it somehow glass half full.   Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to l...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is so selfless she does ACTUAL work on her birthday to give you the full scoop on her Parisian travels from the weekend. What a wild, dairy-fueled ride that was. She gives you a list of what she wants for her birthday so you can plan accordingly and explains that if a grown man drinks an apple juice next to you on a flight - Watch out!   Limi...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast - Heather is on a real tear on International Women's Day. After a great weekend in Albany slinging jokes, she's back with attitude and some health advice - sort of. Heather hits the Absolutely-Not-Line and tries to fix your wildest problems.   Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSO...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather tries her best to understand what the absolute fuck is going on- but it's pretty much all a big Absolutely NOT. She hits the hotline to see if y'alls problems are any better.. news flash- they aren't. We've got peeping toms, angry tennis coaches and ex's who won't leave us alone!   Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off...

Heather sits down with Harvey Guillen to talk about the struggles of working in the industry and their hilarious Bone, Marry, Bury picks.   Make sure to check Bone, Marry, Bury anywhere you can find podcasts.   Head to Squarespace.com/ABSONOT for a free trial when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code ABSONOT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.   Don’t sleep on savings...

Heather is back in the studio and joined by the Georgia Law Lady herself, Ashley McMahan. And as usual when these two get together, hilarity ensues.   Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY and turn healthy habits into a Ritual.    Foria is offering a special deal for our listeners. Get 20% off your first order by visiting www.foriawe...

Heather is joined by fellow comedian Ali Kolbert to talk all things comedy, and the real tea about being a woman in the industry. Prepare for many laughs ahead!  Check out The Ali Kolbert Show anywhere you get your podcasts to hear more from Ali.    Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to Modern Fertility.com/absolutely .   Go to catalinacrunch.com/ABS...

Heather is back in the studio in LA and more unhinged than ever! Today we are discussing the role Heather was meant to play, why people who wear glasses are really just liars, and reminiscing on stories from the tour. Buckle your seatbelts folks and dont forget - your'e lying to yourself if you dont think you need therapy.   Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot for $20 off, with a...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is back in California drinking Wine with the Kardashians. Fresh off a 3 show run in Dallas- She breaks down the funniest shit that happened in the Lone Star state and explains why every nail salon owner wears slippery Nikes. Did you also know Texas dip their chips in butter?    You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going...

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast Heather raises some mild suspicions that an older generation of first class passengers have it in for her. She can't tell if they are trying to intimidate her back to coach or if she is really in the wrong. Fresh off a wonderful weekend touring she's hitting the hotline with all of your issues!    G to Squarespace.com/absonot for a free trial and when...