A Way Beyond the Rainbow

This is a 2-episode series where my friend Hashim and I dissect the story of Adam and Eve, peace be upon them, as well as temptation and repentance and offer many reflections on how this story is relevant to us as men and women experiencing SSA. In part I of this series, we go back to the origin of the creation of mankind: how God glorified man and destined him for greatness, how the devil lurks i...

In this episode, we explore together the concept of love for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, presenting the examples of two pairs of giants: David (PBUH) and Jonathan, as well as Shams and Rumi. Pure love between members of the same sex can be very profound, healing and uplifting, such that even poetry fails to describe its magnitude. What was the kind of love that these two pairs shar...

In this episode, we talk about gifts and talents, as well as Divine openings that come along with SSA. Whether spiritual openings, emotional intelligence or extraordinary talents across different fields, men and women with SSA have God-given gifts, which, when used wisely, can end up changing the world.  We also explore some stories of men and women throughout history, among whom some had strong a...

In this episode, Aadam and I discuss the topic of attachments, fear of letting go, and sacrifice for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. We dissect the story of Ibrahim, Hajar and Isma'il (peace and blessings be upon them all), looking at their trials from that particular lens. We also examine the statement of Tawheed (monotheism): "There is no god but Allah" from a lens of...

In our third and last part of the three-episode series on hardships, trials and tribulations, we talk about how trials and hardships purify us, the rewards hidden in them and how challenges in life lead to self-improvement and the development of gratitude and contentment. We end this series of episodes by synthesizing all themes discussed and reflecting on the story of Prophet Yusuf/Joseph (PBUH)....

We continue with our three-episode series on hardships, trials and tribulations, and in this second part, we talk about how struggles bring about sincerity, humility and patient forbearance, as well as many rewards from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. We also explore the notion, "With every hardship comes ease", as we present glimpses from the lives of Moses, Maryam and Asiyah, may the p...

My friend Aadam joins me in a three-episode series where we discuss hardships, trials and tribulations and contextualize our struggle with SSA in the larger scheme of things. In this episode, we talk about the problem of evil and suffering, the story of Moses (PBUH) and Al-Khidr, the story of Ayyub (PBUH) and his wife, and how everything in life is a test from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Why d...

With this episode, we begin a series of episodes tackling spiritual aspects relevant to struggles, trials and tribulations. We explore together what many of us have been through, or are still going through, namely, what seems to be "layers of darkness within an unfathomable sea", and our search for Light.  The episode is based on Surat al-Fatiha, The Opener and Inaugurator of the Qur&apo...

In this season 2 premiere, I address some of the questions and comments received and misconceptions that arose with regards to topics addressed in season 1 of the podcast, inviting everyone to pause, rewind and hit play, both literally and spiritually. Do we all fit the trauma-based models? Does therapy work for everyone? What is meant by "healing" in the context of SSA, and is there any...

In this season finale, Mr. Richard Cohen, author of Coming Out Straight: Understanding Same-Sex Attraction joins me in an intense yet heartwarming discussion of the four areas and four stages of healing that he outlines in his book, as part of a comprehensive and holistic plan to healing and growth. We dissect, in details, the different stages from grounding and transitioning to healing homo- and...

In this episode, Mr. Michael Gasparro from Dr. Nicolosi's Breakthrough Clinic joins me to talk about reintegrative therapy. We discuss cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), body work, how to navigate the gray zone and the scenario preceding the homosexual enactment, as well as grief work and the reintegrative therapy protocol. Would therapy help me address my same-sex attractions? How different...

In this episode, we tackle the origins, development and characteristics of female same-sex attractions (SSA). We dive again into childhood family dynamics, defensive detachment, gender non-conformity, trauma and sexual abuse, as well as poor peer relations and body image. We explore together dynamics of female-female relationships and discuss emotional dependency and enmeshment. How similar and di...

In this episode, my friend Fares and I discuss characteristics and experiences common to men and women experiencing same-sex attractions (SSA). We revisit shame and discuss anticipatory shame, and we explain some of the psychological defenses that we exhibit, mainly false selves and narcissistic thoughts and behaviors. We also dissect the notion of homosexuality being a repetition compulsion and t...

In part II of our discussion on the genesis of same-sex attractions (SSA), we tackle the topics of poor peer relations, social wounds, body image and the masculinity/femininity inferiority complex. We also go into the roles of society, media and culture, as well as the potential effects of separation from parents and negative events in-utero. The second half of the episode is dedicated to the topi...

In part I of a discussion on the genesis of same-sex attractions (SSA), we tackle the extent to which genetics, temperamental predisposition as well as different family dynamics are associated with the development of homosexual inclinations. In addition, we talk about narcissistic parental relations and their impacts on children, the concept of defensive detachment as well as how homosexuality can...

In this episode, my dear friend Sinan joins me to share his personal story. A journey from a place of complete darkness and devastation to a place of wholeness and peace. *Trigger warning: episode includes vivid recollection of severe depression, death wishes and passive suicidal ideations* Send as an anonymous one-way text message

In the first part of this episode, I present some historical facts on changes within the psychological profession with regards to the classification of homosexuality. I also present some history about the gay liberation movement as well as popular misinformation circulating nowadays, with some scientific studies to disprove some of these misconceptions. Furthermore, we explore the palpable role pl...

In this Q and A session, Aadam and I answer some of the questions and comments that we received by e-mail or came across on social media, with regards to the first three episodes, as well as the recent event that took place in Texas entitled, "LGBTQ+ Balancing Our Faith with Civil Rights" in which I was a speaker. Links to sources mentioned in the episode: -  The Event at EPIC Mosque and...

In the second part of our two-episode series, Aadam and I continue the discussion on self-compassion, shame and vulnerability. In this episode, we talk about connection, shame, feeling worthy and a sense of belonging, vulnerability, and what it really means to be courageous, and then we tie all of these concepts to the struggle of individuals living with SSA. Do you believe you are worthy of love,...

My dear friend Aadam joins me in a two-episode series where we discuss self-compassion, shame and vulnerability. In this episode, we talk about self-love and compassion, how these topics are crucial to our well being and growth, and the difference between shame and guilt. How do you treat yourself on a daily basis? What is it like with your mental chatter? Do you feel worthy of love? These and oth...

In this episode, I introduce myself and give an overview of the current global narrative, highlighting the scarcity of resources in Muslim communities to help individuals struggling with SSA and airing out some of the frustrations that most of us feel. I also give a glimpse into what the podcast is about, who the target audience is, and what to expect from this series. Links to sources mentioned i...

A summary of the goals of the podcast and a glimpse into the myriad of topics coming up in the series, inshaAllah. Send as an anonymous one-way text message