A Way Beyond the Rainbow

*General trigger warning: episode involves discussion of traumatic events and may be triggering to some listeners* This is part 3 of a four-episode series on understanding the origins and characteristics of complex trauma as well as paving a holistic path of healing. In this episode, Aadam and I continue our talk on the effects and characteristics of complex trauma by discussing interpersonal and...

*General trigger warning: episode involves discussion of traumatic events and may be triggering to some listeners* This is part 2 of a four-episode series on understanding the origins and characteristics of complex trauma as well as paving a holistic path of healing. In this episode, Aadam and I talk about how complex trauma impacts our self-identity and self-perception, contributes to a shame nar...

*General trigger warning: episode involves discussion of traumatic events and may be triggering to some listeners* My friend Aadam joins me on a four-episode series that focuses on understanding the origins and characteristics of complex trauma as well as paving a holistic path of healing. In this episode, we talk about the definition of complex trauma and factors that lead to it, the survival bra...

In this episode, we begin our series on healing and recovery work by covering the basics of conscious self-awareness and mindfulness. We discuss how most of our time is spent on auto-pilot mode and how we can bring our minds back into the present moment through simple daily practice. We also talk about the importance of knowing ourselves and our histories, as well as what to expect on the journey...

With this episode, we commence season 4 which is dedicated to healing and recovery work. In the season 4 premiere, we examine the effects of words; there are words that hurt and words that heal. We also present a working vision for healing that will pave the way for the myriad of topics to come this season, inshaAllah. What are some words that ought to be revised in our conversations, particularly...

A glimpse into the topics coming up in seasons 4 and 5 of the podcast, inshaAllah. Send as an anonymous one-way text message

In the last episode of this season, my friend Alan joins me and shares with us many gems from his journey of healing, recovery and overcoming same-sex attractions, attachments and codependency. Alan shares with us how support systems have helped him in his journey of healing, and he shares lots of advice on relationships, marriage and intimacy from his 40+ years of marriage. *Trigger warning: this...

*General trigger warning: Episode involves discussion of intimacy and sexual relations with graphic details. This episode is flagged for explicit content.* This is part II of a 2-episode series on marital intimacy and sexual relations, answering frequently asked questions on these topics, with a focus on men and women experiencing same-sex attractions. Joining me in both episodes is sex therapist...

*General trigger warning: Episode involves discussion of intimacy and sexual relations with graphic details. This episode is flagged for explicit content.* This is part I of a 2-episode series on marital intimacy and sexual relations, answering frequently asked questions on these topics, with a focus on men and women experiencing same-sex attractions. Joining me in both episodes is sex therapist D...

This is part II of a 2-episode series on marriage and celibacy, answering frequently-asked questions on the topics, with a focus on SSA-related matters. In this episode, we focus on SSA-related questions within the context of marriage, and we address the topic of celibacy as a legitimate life choice. Is it honest of me to get married without telling my spouse about my SSA? What are some recommenda...

This is part I of a 2-episode series on marriage and celibacy, answering frequently-asked questions on the topics, with a focus on SSA-related matters. In this episode, we address general questions and misconceptions about marriage. What are the legal rulings on marriage, and when would it actually be discouraged or haram? What if I am pressured by my family and/or community to get married, how do...

In this episode, Chris joins me again from Melbourne, Australia, to talk about his own journey of healing, relapses and recovery, involving decades of therapy and being part of support groups, as well as findings answers and help in the fields of neuroscience, biology and functional medicine. He shares with us insights and wisdoms gained throughout six decades of life, after having left the gay li...

In our last episode on support systems, Br. Ali Jaffery joins me again as a guest speaker and talks to us about the Mankind Project with its different services, like the New Warrior Training and integration groups, as well as a separate initiative called the Noble Man. How does the Mankind Project help men in general with their growth, healing and masculine identity? What is New Warrior Training w...

In this episode, Jeremy Schwab from the US and Alan Alencar from Brazil join me as guest speakers and talk to us about "Joel 2:25" and the international initiatives associated with the organization. What does "Joel 2:25" stand for? How has "Joel 2:25" evolved throughout the years, and what are some of the services provided for individuals who experience same-sex attra...

In this episode, Mr. Richard Wyler from the US joins me as a guest speaker and talks to us about Brothers Road and the services offered by his organization. How has "Brothers Road" evolved throughout the years from "People Can Change"? What are "Journey into Manhood" (JIM) weekends, and what do they involve in terms of bonding and healing work? What are other journeys...

In this episode, Robert Gollwitzer from Germany joins me as a guest speaker and talks to us about Homosexuals Anonymous and the 14-step program. How are the 14 steps different from the 12 steps, and what do they entail? What is the focus of Homosexuals Anonymous, and how does it help individuals struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions? These and other questions are explored in this episode....

In this episode, Chris from Australia joins me as a guest speaker and talks to us about 12-step programs as well as sexual recovery programs, like Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), among others. How did 12-step programs evolve throughout the years and what do they entail? Who are "sponsors" and how do they support us with our recovery? What are some of the...

In this episode, Br. Yousef Salam from Canada joins me as a guest speaker and talks to us about the online support group Straight Struggle.  How did Straight Struggle evolve throughout the years from the "Yahoo!" to "Discord" platforms? What are the services that the online support group provides? What are the demographics of members who benefit from such services? These questi...

In this episode, Br. Ali Jaffery from the UK joins me as a guest speaker and talks to us about his organization, Strong Support, which aims to help Muslims experiencing unwanted same-sex lust. What is the mission and vision of Strong Support? What are the services that it provides? What are the demographics of members who benefit from such services? These questions and others are explored in this...

With season 3, we begin a series of episodes that address different kinds of support systems and the ways they can help us on our journeys of growth and healing. In this episode, we address local support groups, including friends, family members and colleagues, and we answer some frequently asked questions.  What are the different kinds of friendship with the same sex that one can cultivate, and w...

In this season finale, my friend Amina joins me as a guest speaker to share with us her story, from same-sex relationships and marriage, being on “spiritual life support” as she calls it, and living the “progressive lifestyle”, to returning back to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and changing her life for Him.  *Trigger warning: the episode covers deep emotional topics like abandonment and divorce,...

In our last episode on spiritual reflections, Hashim and I revisit the topic of repentance, and we discuss spiritual awakening, the characteristics of that station and some things to watch out for when we're experiencing the "highs" as well as the "lows". We also wrap up and summarize the spiritual themes discussed during season 2 of the podcast. What is spiritual awakenin...

In this episode, Hashim and I talk about desires and shahawat: their different kinds, the wisdom behind them, and the many ways to help us curb them in our journeys, particularly for individuals who experience same-sex attractions. Is it only Shaytan that whispers to us to inflame our desires? What are the different degrees of the nafs (self), and how are they relevant to our journey in life? What...

In this episode, Hashim and I discuss the story of the people of Lut (PBUH) and reflect on many relevant themes, with a focus on our struggle as men and women experiencing same-sex attractions in this day and age who are committed to staying true to Allah and His deen. We tackle the topics of pride and remorse, the ways in which we may be similar to and different from the people of Lut (PBUH), how...

This is a 2-episode series where my friend Hashim and I dissect the story of Adam and Eve, peace be upon them, as well as temptation and repentance and offer many reflections on how this story is relevant to us as men and women experiencing SSA. In part II of this series, we talk about how to use Allah's provisions to repent and go back to Him, starting with remembrance and prayer, the import...