A Kettle and Some String

A change to the scheduled programme - I'm investigating a murder and some gruesome ritual site for P.R.O.B.E and have to do a commentary on arguably it's most famous case. What will I think?

Tricey! Brian! Nefertiti! Dave and Alex land with a gang on an unmanned spaceship full of prehistoric creatures. What will they make of stereotyped actors, Chibnall tropes and Brian's balls?

Dark Eyes! Ohila! Cass! Dave and Melvin look at Paul McGann's era on audio before plunging to Karn to witness The Doctor turn into a warrior. What will they make of Liv Chenka, the divergent universe and flavoured elixir?

Jamie! Culloden! Slave trade! Dave and Dan land in Scotland, 1746 after the battle. What will they make of bitchy Polly, a number of catchphrases and a character who just seems to go arrghh?

Frog! Ribbons! Rubbish dad! Dave and Pete arrive in a Norwegian fjord where a young girl is hiding in her dad’s cottage. What will they make of Bradley Walsh’ emotional acting, Pete as a moth man and the alternatives for ‘your friend’?  

Doomsday weapon! IMC! Adjudicator! Dave and Cliff are taken by the time lords to Uxarieus, 2472, where a conflict over ownership takes place. What will they make of the lack of barbers, various sneaky political intrigues and the Guardian of the city’s residence?

Time Lord Victorious! The Flood! Gadget! Dave and Nathan land on the red planet in 2059, at a very important moment in human history. What will they make of Graeme Harper’s most recent direction, The Doctor wanting to leave and Lindsay Duncan’s Adelaide Brooke?

Shangri-La! Rock N' Roll! Ken Dodd! Dave and Jim land in 1959 Wales for a getting to know you dance. What will they make of the bee man mystery, Chimeron biology and Ray being a companion?

John Smith! Remembrance! Scarecrows! Dave and Mark land in 1913 to hide from a family. What will they make of Smith's handwriting, brilliant Freema and that bloody balloon?

Giant snake! Dark places of the inside! Wise woman! Dave, Dan & Mark land on Deva Loka and encounter some wind chimes. What will they make of a healing box, Aris' dentures and a frustrated 5th Doctor?

Lazarus! The Jones'! Lady Thaw! Dave and Luke attend the demonstration of a rejuvenating machine. What will they make of the comic book style, Gatiss' crack and the marvellous CGI creation?

The Watcher! Pharos Project! Cloister Bell! Dave and Si land on the bypass to measure a Police Box. What will they make of Tegan's immovable hat, magic science and Tom Baker's final curtain?

Older Amy! Handbots! Two streams! Dave and Mark land on Apalapucia during quarantine. What will they make of old age makeup, a facility with no signs and Rory's impossible dilemma?

Madame de Pompadour! Clockwork droids! Time Windows! Dave and Frazer land on a stalking 51st century spaceship. What will they make of The Doctor falling for Reinette, a beautiful score and separating art from an artist?

Plunger! Klade! Dave crash lands on Skaro where Davros is needing a name for his new design. What will he make of the new look Davros and continuity errors?

A change to the scheduled programme - I'm locked in the Torchwood hub with a pterodactyl and some pizza and have to do a commentary on the first episode of the 'adult spin off'. What will I think?

Mannequins! Dandy Doctor! Madame Tussauds! Dave and Hannah land with a new Doctor and some meteorites. What will they make of a popular hospital, ballsy Mrs Seeley and corking cliffhangers?

Time Zombies! Van Baalan! Big friendly button! Dave and Ryan are trapped in an exploding TARDIS. What will they make of the android twist, the unlikely girl and a brain turning to clay time problem?

Paul Darrow! Borad! HG Wells! Dave and Dan travel up a Kontron tunnel to Karfel. What will they make of the script editor, entertaining acting styles and The Doctor body shaming?

The Wire! Queens coronation! Blank faces! Dave and Andrew land in 1953 where people are being taken by their TV's. What will they make of Gatiss writing for the Rani, the morality of 1953 told in 2006, and what is on the Doctor's tape?

Eldrad must live! Fossil hand! Andy Pandy! Dave and John land in a quarry and are entombed. What will they make of Judith Paris' impact, nuclear reactor protocols and a poignant departure?

Pond life! Cubes! Shakri! Dave and Luke live a year through the slow invasion. What will they make of another Stewart in UNIT, the death of a modern companion and the fractured ending?

Racnoss! Donna! Car chase! Dave and Daniel are joined by a bride in the TARDIS who is wanted by a big red spider. What will they make of slapping in DW, Lance as a Torchwood operative and Nerys as a frenemy?

The Renegade! Amsterdam! Termination! Dave and Jim land on Gallifrey as an anti matter creature wants to bond. What will they make of a possible Maxil spin off, Colin and Robins night out and who the feck Omega is?

Sardick! Abigail! Shark! Dave and Mark tumble down a chimney of a right humbug! What will they make of privatising the skies, Michael Gambon and the Doctor's meddling?