500 Year Diary: A Doctor Who Podcast

Friday 10 July 2009. Torchwood: Children of Earth: Day Five. It’s the end of the week, and although some kids and a whole building full of public servants are dead, we all learn that even the ones who walk away from Omelas discover that the real Omelas was inside them all along.

Thursday 9 July 2009. Torchwood: Children of Earth: Day Four. Tonight, John Frobisher’s relationship with the 456 turns from sour to ugly, while Captain Jack Harkness’s day starts with humiliation and ends in death. In contrast, the British PM and his advisors are being uncharacteristically dynamic and productive, which doesn’t bode well for anyone really.

Wednesday 8 July 2009. Torchwood: Children of Earth: Day Three. Tonight, Jack finally works out why everyone wants to kill him (and it’s not the reason you might expect), while mere miles away the 456 arrive in Thames House and immediately run up an upsettingly large cleaning bill. Adam Richard and Kevin Burnard join us to discuss Day Three.

Tuesday 7 July 2009. Torchwood: Children of Earth: Day Two. The 456 said they’d drop round some time this evening, so while they wait, Simon and Nathan chat with Johnny Spandrell and Melvin Peña about villains, childlessness, the Home Office onboarding process, how great Eve Myles is, and whether Torchwood really is appropriate viewing for grownups.

Monday 6 July 2009. Torchwood: Children of Earth: Day One. After 44 years, the 456 are coming back, but before they get here there’s a fair amount of setting up to do. First, remind us how scary and weird children are; second, introduce us to a troupe of amazing new actors; and third, blow up the entire show. Should be fun.

Thursday 15 August 1991. Timewyrm: Exodus. Our tribute to the great Terrance Dicks concludes this week with a discussion of his first original Doctor Who novel, but we also take the opportunity to talk about what he achieved and how much we all owe him. Kate Orman and Adam Richard join us for Timewyrm: Exodus.

Wednesday 23 November 1983. The Five Doctors. Well, our ridiculous show has just turned twenty, and so it’s time for everyone both alive and available to celebrate the occasion by reporting first to North Wales and then to the BBC Television Centre. But only one man can give them all exactly the right things to say and do — and that’s the man who knows what colour monsters are.

Saturday 22 November 1980. State of Decay. This week, on a planet where evil carnivorous overlords oppress and prey on a helpless populace, we decide to watch and discuss State of Decay.

Saturday 3 September 1977. Horror of Fang Rock. Terrance’s planned vampire story has been unexpectedly cancelled, and he has only a few weeks to come up with a replacement. Fortunately, he’s brilliant. Melvin Peña joins us to discuss Horror of Fang Rock.

Saturday 28 December 1974. Robot. This week, Terrance gives up the script editor’s seat to Bob Holmes — but not before adding a final flourish to his era (and scoring one more paycheque) as the writer of Tom Baker’s first story, Robot.

Saturday 19 April 1969. The War Games. This week, 500 Year Diary begins its six-week hagiography of Doctor Who writer, script editor and raconteur Terrance Dicks, with a discussion of his first on-screen script credit The War Games. Ten monster-free episodes culminating in a series-ruining revelation about the Doctor’s backstory — can Terrance make it work?

Saturday 26 April 2025. The Well. The surprising return of a decades-old monster leads not only to the urgent revision of a long-dormant TARDIS Wikia page, but also to an unexpected addition to the current season of 500 Year Diary. So join us, as we join Steven B for one more visit to a diamond planet called Midnight — it’s The Well.

Monday 1 December 2008. The Sarah Jane Adventures: Enemy of the Bane. We return to Bannerman Road this week for the second coming of Samantha Bond as Mrs Wormwood, and she’s just as wonderful as you would expect. We also get the second coming of Kaagh the Slayer as well, at no extra charge.

Saturday 4 June 2005. Boom Town. This week, a New Series villain returns for the first time just six weeks after her first appearance — it’s Blon Fel-Fotch Passameer-Day Slitheen, wonderfully played by Annette Badland. Hannah Cooper and Pete Lambert join us.

Monday 7 September 1987. Time and the Rani. Another classic 80s villain makes her first reappearance on Doctor Who this week. But what will four serious teenage fanboys make of the fact that she has decided to dress up as Bonnie Langford?

Saturday 4 October 1986. Mindwarp. This week, the 1980s brings back its most iconic original villain (possibly) to face off against the Sixth Doctor for the second time. But is the reunion a success? Kate Orman joins us again, to discuss Mindwarp.

Thursday 5 January 1984. Warriors of the Deep. This week, the Earth’s original inhabitants wake up from hibernation after about a decade, put on their best fibreglass vests and samurai outfits, and invade an undersea base at 0.5× speed. The Silurians and Sea Devils are back — but why?

Monday 17 January 1983. Snakedance. This week, the people of the planet Manussa are about to discover that all their ancient myths are true, and that their own thirst and dissatisfaction are rearing up to strike them in rubbery serpentine form. Kate Orman joins us to discuss the second coming of the Mara.

Saturday 22 February 1975. The Sontaran Experiment. It’s cold and rainy this weekend, and so we’ve decided to catch up with Mark McManus and spend the day larking around Devonshire, falling down holes, and generally hiding from Kevin Lindsay while he brings the Sontarans to the screen for the second time.

Saturday 25 January 1969. The Seeds of Death. It’s Invaders from Mars this week, as the terrifying monsters we thawed out in 5000 AD last year make an early appearance on the Moon just sixteen years after the visit of the Cybermen. Their goal: to cement their position somewhere on the top ten list of recurring Doctor Who monsters. Jeremy Radick joins us as we try to work out exactly where.

Saturday 11 February 1967. The Moonbase. We’re walking on eggshells this week as we await the arrival of an army of marching Cybermen, approaching the Moonbase with a dastardly plan to change Doctor Who for ever. For the better, on the whole.

Saturday 21 November 1964. The Dalek Invasion of Earth. This week, we launch the second season of 500 Year Diary with the first of our Second Comings — Doctor Who’s second ever Dalek story, The Dalek Invasion of Earth. How will the Daleks survive leaving their city on Skaro and subjecting themselves to the public gaze just before Christmas?

Monday 1 January 2007. The Sarah Jane Adventures: Invasion of the Bane. We bring our first season to a close with the new beginning of Doctor Who’s most successful spinoff, in which a beloved TV heroine from our childhood was given one last chance (or twenty-seven last chances) to save the world.

Sunday 22 October 2006. Torchwood: Everything Changes. It’s 2006, which is just the time to launch a gritty and adult Doctor Who spinoff — Torchwood, a show with an immortal lead character which is basically about the finality of death. But has Torchwood learned anything from its parent show’s many, many launches and re-launches?

Sunday 25 December 2005. The Christmas Invasion. Just nine months after Doctor Who’s twenty-first century iteration burst triumphantly onto our screens, we all get together with Steven B to watch as the BBC’s flagship drama introduces its exciting new lead to nearly 10 million viewers on Christmas Day on BBC One. It ends up going pretty well.