12 Week Relationships Podcast

Shayne and Natalie from Love is Blind Season 2 are a perfect example of trauma bonding. Not only that, but Pye and Dr. Glen make the argument that they are the worst possible match for one another. It may be hard to believe. After all, trauma bonding is powerful and can be mistaken for love. However, behind Shayne and Natalie's relationship are differences in values and world views that quickly un...

In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen react to moments from Love is Blind's Season 2 Premiere and reveal common dating mistakes and misperceptions that tend to disguise themselves as true love. Love is Blind is currently one of the hottest shows on Netflix. It's an exciting dating show where potential partners get engaged without ever seeing each other!

People pleasing is a trauma-based behavior that causes one to tend to someone's needs at the expense of their own. People pleasing also goes beyond simply agreeing with someone or helping out of goodwill. Instead, people pleasers act out of fear of rejected by the other person. Pleasing the needs of others becomes their definition of love. While pleasing others may satisfy the people pleaser's imm...

Raising children is tough. Add a divorce and a toxic ex-partner and it can become unbelievably complicated. Now the children are raised in two separate homes, each out of the control of the other. How do you provide a healthy childhood with only half the time and a stubborn ex who refuses to listen? Today, our guest, Amanda Lee of My Mommy the Artist, discusses the challenges of raising children w...

Actions speak louder than words, especially in the case of relationships. We can see how two people truly feel about each other just by observing their body language. Sometimes these signs are subtle and other times, they speak volumes. As experts, Pye and Dr. Glen have intensely observed the body languages of couples over the years and share some common cues and signs that can indicate whether a...

Trauma bonding can feel like real love and intimacy. This is because when we trauma bond, we're connecting over our wounds and that can provide temporary but deep comfort. However, this doesn't heal our traumas and only satisfies the needs of the wound. A relationship built around trauma bonding can quickly become toxic and co-dependent. To help you know if trauma is guiding your relationship deci...

We'd like to welcome our very first guest on our show, Amanda Lee, creator of My Mommy the Artist. Amanda comes from an intense religious background that led her into marriage before she was ready. The marriage quickly unraveled and after over a decade of trauma and deteriorating health, Amanda left her relationship behind. She has since made tremendous progress in recovering and gaining back cont...

Time for community questions! Lately, we've had tons of questions coming in from our listeners through our social media pages and we'd like to dedicate some time to answer them! While we don't offer direct advice on social media, we do enjoy these opportunities to open up discussions with our wonderful community, so please feel free to continue sending us questions! We do deeply respect privacy, s...

Like dating advice, there's plenty of bad marriage advice out there. Most of them don't even consider the nuances of each relationship, individual, and situation. Instead, they offer one-size-fits-all solutions that not only miss the target, but can make things worse. Today, Pye and Dr. Glen react to 10 pieces of bad marriage advice and offer alternative approaches and insights for solving common...

There's a lot of terrible dating advice out there. Many of them sound great and helpful at first but can in fact, damage your relationship instead. To clear the air, Pye and Dr. Glen offer their thoughts on some of the most popular dating tips and how they actually enable toxic behaviors rather than encourage healthy relationships and perspectives on love.

People pleasers and narcissists together create the perfect storm. What the people pleaser has to give, the narcissist is happy to take. This can create an extremely co-dependent and toxic relationship that's very difficult to break out of. To better understand the people pleaser and narcissist, Pye and Dr. Glen dive into how the wounds that fuel these behaviors are created and how to begin the pr...

Relationships never stay the same. People change and so do their values and goals. It's a natural process. Some relationships develop together with these changes. Others form deep rifts and differences. When this happens, the relationship can begin to feel one sided or exhausting to maintain. This is a sign that a relationship may no longer be serving you and Pye and Dr. Glen share some advice on...

Relationships with aligned Core Values are energizing and fulfilling. On the other hand, a relationship with misaligned Core Values can be emotionally taxing. This is because when Core Values are misaligned, each individual aims for different things. Without proper boundaries, this misalignment can lead to resentment and unhappiness in the relationship. Understanding our own Core Values helps us s...

Core Values play a vital role in our relationships, careers, and overall lives. They guide our decisions and actions. However, unresolved past trauma can blind our decision making and cause us to act to satisfy a wound instead, which can have negative long term consequences if left unresolved. Once we identify and resolve those past traumas, we can then lay out a strong foundation of Core Values t...

Sometimes, what we think are our Core Values, actually wind up being desires, expectations, or past trauma. To discover our true Core Values, we have to peel back the layers and it's normal to miss the mark as we try and uncover what's really driving our actions. To help out with the process, Pye and Dr. Glen discuss examples of what Core Values are and aren't, and ways to know if your Core Values...

Core Values are what drives our behaviors and decisions. They shape our relationships, careers, and overall quality of life. Core Values are formed by how we grow up and our experiences throughout life and they can change over time. If our actions and decisions don't align with these values, we quickly become unhappy and unfulfilled. That's why, in order to live a fulfilling and meaningful life, w...

Leaving an unhealthy long-term relationship is a lot like breaking a drug addiction. In fact, the stages and challenges involved are nearly identical. Somebody who finds themselves unable to break free from a toxic relationship may share similar physiological dependencies to that of a drug addict. The process of leaving an unhealthy relationship can be broken down into 6 stages and Pye and Dr. Gle...

Social media is a hotbed of arguments and nasty comments. The anonymity doesn't help. However, that's also a good reason to just not engage. In the vast majority of cases, it's not worth the energy to try and convince strangers why they're wrong over the internet. But why do we get triggered by certain comments? Pye and Dr. Glen break down what creates "Keyboard Warriors," and how to avoid falling...

Divorce lawyers directly oversee the final stages of marriages. They have a front row seat to the complex nature of relationships. Because divorce lawyers are so exposed to conflicts in relationships, they likely have very unique and detailed perspectives on how they might go about maintaining a healthy relationship. Today, Pye and Dr. Glen react to Glamour's "Divorce Lawyers Give Relationship Adv...

A flaw in the divorce process is that the law sees the separating partners as "enemies." A relationship ending is painful enough, but when lawyers, custody, costs, and assigning blame gets involved, it can quickly bring out the worst out of everyone. It's important to know what to expect if you're getting divorced. The relationship is in its final stages and wounds are going to be fresh. The traum...

Ever feel like a friend is taking advantage of your good intentions? The truth is, they might be using you to get something that they want. People who use other people might present themselves as friends, but in reality, that's only a disguise for their manipulative tactics. This is tricky to catch, especially if you're naturally empathetic and helpful, but Pye and Dr. Glen have 5 signs that if yo...

Our body language says more than we often realize. This is important, especially on a first date, where we might get a little too fixated on leaving a good impression to realize that our body language may actually be putting off the other person. And the importance of body language doesn't stop at first impressions. They affect our closest relationships and how we express interest and regard. Unde...

Dealing with self doubt is actually a normal feeling. Questioning our own accomplishments is usually a healthy indication of our own humility. However, in severe cases, this doubt can get in the way of our ability to make decisions and pursue ideas. If you find yourself in this situation, it's a good idea to step back and see if there's an unresolved trauma that's causing these biased beliefs. Ult...

Everyone is going to have their own opinions, and you might not agree with all of them. However, these days, it feels as though we can't even agree to disagree. The ability have conversations despite disagreements is critical if we want to grow, learn, and develop ideas. Pye and Dr. Glen discuss the importance of avoiding absolutes and not taking the opinions of others personally. It's good to kno...

Having controlling parents while growing up can be damaging. This often leads to feelings of guilt and shame well into adulthood. It's a trauma that can be hard to resolve, especially if the parents continue to impose even after you've moved out. Breaking free from your parents can be especially hard because, well, they're your parents and they have their own traumas that are causing their control...