The UNcivilized Podcast with Traver Boehm

I’ve been waiting YEARS to interview Kristal Desantis as she is a therapist for men. And she’s a woman so her view and understanding of men is unique. In this episode we explore a number of challenges men have, primarily in relationships, but then take a plunge on the question of whether vulnerability is actually healthy in men’s relationships. This is a great conversation I know you’ll enjoy. Enj...

If you’re a Nice Guy, or someone who has shame around their financial situation, this episode is for you! In this edition of the UNcivilized Podcast, I have a man from my Kill The Nice Guy community who shares his story of losing his job, right when he and his new girlfriend are just getting together. This had the potential to throw him down the stairs of shame and he shares with us how he prevent...

As the nature of relationship rapidly changes and people begin looking for alternate ways of constructing their relational and sexual lives, teachers like Sophie have been continually sought out. Sophie’s creation of the Cosmic Masculine puts both men and women into a relational frame that’s both devotional and sacred while allowing infinite space for the down to Earth parts of our being as well....

On Sunday July 7th at 9:30 in the morning, my father passed. I was there with my Mom, holding his hand as he took his final breaths. While this is a very private moment to share, there are elements to it that I know will touch you and hopefully inspire you in all of your relationships. In this solo episode I touch on three of the key parts of this experience, one from the wild lead up to the decis...

If you are under 30 you need to listen to this episode. If you know a man under 30, you also need to listen to this! Blake Chalfant is already a force to be reckoned with in the men’s space and he’s only 23 years old. His life changed drastically after a spiritual awakening he had as a college student and he know coaches and councils young men, guiding them to live more connected, authentic lives....

If you’re a Nice Guy, or someone with loose boundaries, this episode is for you. In this edition of the UNcivilized Podcast, I have a man from my Kill The Nice Guy community who in a tough spot.  He’s in a relationship that he values but his partner has an unreasonable demand — she wants him to check in with her every hour on the hour. We get real here with why he’s letting her request keep him st...

Let’s be honest — it’s challenging to be in relationship these days, and that’s because there’s so much conflicting information out there. Men are supposed to lead! But only at the magical right time… Men are supposed to be protectors! But that’s also toxic… Men are supposed to be emotionally connected to their women! But don’t show emotion because that’s weakness… In this episode we bring back on...

I believe there are three levels or stages of relationship you can engage in: — Extractive & Transactional — Character & Role Playing — Sacred, Divine, & Uncivilized Each stage also has sexual level associated with it… If you’re curious about what’s available to you relationally and sexually, this is the episode for you. It’s a punch solo where I break down each stage and what you can...

Today I sit down with renowned men’s mental health coach, Elise Michaels for the second time on the pod. Elise is a force in the men’s world with over a million followers across her many channels. In this episode we speak into a variety of topics from her work with men, how men can help shift out of rock bottom, and of course — the last two years of Elise’s life. She’s recently ended an abusive re...

In this edition of the UNcivilized Podcast, I have a man from my Kill The Nice Guy community who has stepped into a brand new role — he’s the step father of two teenage twin boys. He also wants to show up powerfully for himself, his fiancé, and the boys in the family.  We talk about how his Nice Guy patterns are holding him back and keeping him from fully engaging with both his woman, and her kids...

In this episode of our live show UNcivilized UNplugged, you get to sit in with our studio audience as I chat with Danya River on how you can keep all of your hard earned transformations. Danya is a master of the human nervous system as well as a high sought out executive coach. I know because I was someone who once sought her out and have worked with her for years now. In this episode not only wil...

Last week I talked about getting your vision board to become your reality and closing the gap between the life you want to be living and the life you are living. AND — many of you reached out and asked for techniques that you can use if you don’t have a community around you and you can’t afford to hire a coach or a consultant. I get it. In this short solo episode I share my two favorite techniques...

In my experience of over twenty years of coaching humans, most of you will get stuck in one place — needing permission. Whether that’s to write your book, start your business, or even just be the healthiest one in your family, permission is a big wall for many people to climb. And — it may not be the only wall.  In this short, potent solo episode I break down the three reasons why most people don’...

Chris Haueter is one of the dirty dozen — the first 12 non Brazilian, Brazilian Jiujitsu Black Belts. He’s also a philosopher poet, an incredible historian, and a teacher. He’s also my old instructor and my old corner man. In this episode we get to catch up after nearly two decades and Chris shares his thoughts on a number of topics including how he built a life around teaching the art he loves. E...

After coaching humans for over 20 years through the good times and the challenges of their lives, I know people and what helps us get past our blocks, our heartbreaks, and our limiting beliefs. In this solo episode I’ll break down the six attributes I feel you need to either get through a hard time, or engage in a challenging endeavor like building a business, learning to surf, or creating the UNc...

This week I have something special for you, I’ve recorded a live coaching session with one of the Kill The Nice Guy graduates.  This episode is for you if you’ve ever struggled with the idea that you need permission to live life on your terms, to build what you want to build, and to go for something big. On the call is a young man named JC who’s struggling to go against the conditioning he grew up...

I get asked this question all the time so let’s dive into it. There are amazing ways you can support your man as he begins therapy, men’s work, or any other path to higher consciousness and healing. I’ve worked with thousands of men over the years and know these three points are crucial to being there for your man, without letting it take over your own life. Enjoy. Please do share this with one pe...

This week I again have something special for you, a recorded live coaching session with one of the Kill The Nice Guy graduates.  This episode is for you if you’ve ever struggled with anger and don’t see the connection between having loose or porous boundaries — and the resentment and anger that naturally builds up. On the call is a man named Kevin who gives and gives and gives and also has a lot o...

At the root of most addictive behavior is a deep dissatisfaction with one or many areas of a man’s life. I know because it wasn’t long ago that I needed to escape from my life multiple times a day with alcohol, marijuana, porn, exercise and work. Just to name a few. In this episode I share with you the ROOT of this challenge and give you a frame for your life as a man. One that will create the typ...

This past month I’ve been on the phone with far too many men who are stuck in bad relationships — and refuse to leave them.  Why? Because they’ve made it some sort of badge of honor to stay and suffer rather than leave and start over. In this episode I break down how you can shift areas of your marriage or relationship, and then why it’s more than okay, no matter what society tells you, to seek yo...

In this fiery solo episode I break down The 4B Movement coming out of South Korea, The Passport Bro Movement here in the US, and the wildly needed UNcivilized Relationship Paradigm. This episode is going to upset a lot of folks because, well, I’m in support of both movements despite the massive implications they will have societally. And I see them both as canaries in the relationship coal mine in...

What a crazy month in the civilized world, huh? Who ever would have thought such juggernauts as Nickelodeon, P Diddy, AND Andrew Huberman would come to light for being toxic and horrible — at the same time. For us at UNcivilized, this is a sign that the civilized veil is falling, truth is emerging, and as men — it’s time for us to deal with what’s in our own shadowy closets. In this solo episode I...

I’ve often talked about and taught the notion of Attachment vs Authenticity when it comes to Nice Guy work. And the idea of attachment is real — but it’s taken me a few years of working with it and hearing about it quite often for it truly to stick. Thus I’m now shifting to talking about Belonging vs Authenticity — especially with but not exclusive to Nice Guys. In this short solo episode I break...

An Instagram follower asked me the difference between aspects of Traditional Masculinity and our UNcivilized Masculinity and rather than write him back a novel, I decided to record this solo episode for you. In it, I jump right to the point and outline what’s great about Traditional Masculinity and — what needed to be upgraded about it. Thus the creation of UNcivilized Masculinity. I outline what...

Francis Weller has been an inspiration for me for years now. The way he speaks and shares his work around initiation and living a soulful life hits me in my core. It stops my frantic mind and makes me feel like the world is going to be okay…even if it may not be. In this episode I get to sit down with Francis and have a frank conversation about men, about getting in touch with our deeper parts, an...