Sex for Saints

Sexual rejection is one of the most painful experiences in marriage, but is your spouse really rejecting you or just rejecting sex? In this episode, I break down the two types of rejection, how to tell the difference, and why understanding this can change everything in your relationship. We'll talk about what rejection looks like when it's personal, what it looks like when it's not, and how to sto...

So many men tell me, "I meet all her needs, why can't she meet mine?" Almost always that "need" is sex. I understand the frustration behind that question, but here's the truth- it's not helping your sex life, it's hurting it. In this episode, I talk about why framing sex as a "need" actually shuts down desire, and what to do instead if you want real intimacy and connection. If you've ever felt stu...

Have you ever wondered why you can feel like a totally different person during sex than afterward? In this episode, I break down what's actually happening in your brain before, during, and after intimacy, and why it matters for your sex life. I'll show you how your neurobiology impacts desire, openness, and connection, and how you can use that knowledge to feel more present, communicate better, an...

In this episode, I'm diving into a pattern I see so often in marriages: good men with the best intentions who unintentionally invalidate their wives' feelings. I'll share real stories of couples who get stuck in this cycle and explain why it happens, especially when a husband's identity is tied so closely to being "the good guy." You'll hear how this dynamic leaves wives feeling unseen and husband...

Sexual grief is something many experience but few talk about. In this episode, we explore what it means to grieve the sex life you thought you'd have, and why making grief your companion instead of your enemy can lead to deeper healing, connection, and hope. You'll hear how sexual grief shows up in different ways, from unmet expectations to struggles with desire or intimacy, and why acknowledging...

In this episode, I'm tackling one of the most common questions I hear in my coaching practice: why do so many women say no to sex? The truth is, it's often not about low libido, it's about the kind of sex they're having. When intimacy feels like an obligation, when body image fears take over, or when pleasure and freedom are missing, it's no wonder women start turning away. I'll walk you through t...

In this episode, I welcome back Katie Runyon of Faithful Fling to explore how playfulness, novelty, and emotional intimacy can transform long-term marriages. Katie shares how role play dates help couples break free from routine, rediscover curiosity, and keep monogamy passionate. Together, we discuss why emotional connection and sexual novelty aren't opposites but actually fuel each other, creatin...

In this episode, we explore why sexual certainty, which is the belief that you already know exactly how intimacy should look, might actually be blocking passion and connection in your relationship. You'll learn the difference between confidence and certainty, how curiosity creates space for growth, and why faith and openness are key to deeper intimacy. Through personal stories, brain science, and...

In this episode, we're unpacking a powerful insight that could completely transform the way you experience intimacy in your marriage. It's all about the surprising difference between safety and security in your sexual relationship and why understanding it might be the missing piece to reigniting the passion you've been longing for. Most people think they're the same thing, but once you see the dis...

In this dynamic episode, Amanda sits down with Hope Orr, the owner of Elevated Boudoir, Utah's premier boudoir photography studio. Hope shares her personal journey from body insecurity and diet culture to self-acceptance and how one DIY boudoir session completely shifted her mindset. Now, she helps other women (and couples) experience that same transformation through photography that's more about...

In this episode, we're diving into a powerful idea I recently heard on the Sex Therapy 101 podcast - a conversation between Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers and my friend Dr. Cami Hurst. Dr. Sellers shared a thought-provoking insight about the difference between sex drive and sexual desire. It's something we've touched on before, but today I want to give it the attention it deserves. This is one of the m...

Is the marriage advice you've heard actually helping or quietly hurting your relationship? In this episode, Amanda interviews marriage coach and author Monica Tanner about her new book Bad Marriage Advice. They dive into common myths like "never go to bed angry" and "happy wife, happy life," and explain why these well-meaning tips can lead to disconnection over time. You'll hear real stories, mode...

What if the key to deeper intimacy was learning how to handle disappointment? In this episode, we're talking about the one feeling most of us spend our lives avoiding, disappointment, and how that avoidance quietly chips away at connection in our relationships. Whether it's a quiet letdown at the end of a long day or a pattern of unspoken hopes, we often sidestep the pain instead of sitting with i...

You finally build up the courage to say something vulnerable, maybe about feeling disconnected, wanting more intimacy, or missing the spark in your relationship. And then, instead of a conversation, you hear: "Well, I guess I'm just a terrible spouse then." This podcast episode dives into what's really going on when that phrase shows up. It's not about blame or guilt. It's often a sign of emotiona...

What comes to mind when you hear the phrase "maintenance sex"? For a lot of people, it feels unromantic - maybe even a little cringy. It doesn't sound poetic or passionate. But what if we're thinking about it all wrong? In this episode, we're challenging the way we see maintenance sex. Instead of seeing it as leftovers or a chore, what if we saw it as a sacred act of love, something we choose to d...

Have you ever found yourself thinking, "We should have sex… but I'm just not feeling it" - only to go through the motions and walk away feeling disconnected? You're not alone. In this episode, we're talking about a concept that might just change how you think about intimacy: Good Enough Sex. It's a model developed by sex therapists Barry and Emily McCarthy that shifts the goal of sex away from pre...

Why do you react the way you do in sexual situations, whether it's craving something specific, avoiding certain dynamics, or feeling stuck in the same patterns? And why does your partner seem to approach sex so differently? In this episode, we explore how the Enneagram can shed light on your unique relationship to intimacy. The Enneagram isn't just another personality test - it's a deep dive into...

What if sexual discipline isn't about restriction, but about freedom? In this episode, I'm exploring a concept that doesn't get much airtime in Christian marriage spaces: sexual discipline within marriage. Too often, it's framed as something just for singles, something to "hold onto" until marriage. But what if it's actually a key to deeper connection, emotional wholeness, and a healthier sex life...

You've probably heard it, or maybe even said it: "Our marriage is great… except for the sex." On the surface, it sounds minor. The friendship is solid, the parenting is on point, and there's hardly any conflict. But a lackluster sex life isn't just a small crack in an otherwise strong foundation - it's often a sign of something deeper. In this episode, I'm explaining why sexual disconnect in a mar...

In this episode, we're diving into something that can quietly wear down even the strongest relationships: the Two-Choice Dilemma, a concept from Dr. David Schnarch. It's what happens when you feel stuck between two hard options—like speaking up and risking conflict, or staying quiet and feeling invisible. It often shows up in marriage, especially around sex and emotional connection. Let's talk abo...

What I often see from those who listen to this podcast, or even from my clients, is that they want a quick fix to their problems in the bedroom. They think that if they learn the right position, or the perfect rhythm, or how to last longer, that it will magically fix all the issues they're having. So let me say again….Better sex is not about technique. Technique won't spark your desire again. Tech...

When your spouse suggests trying something new sexually, like a different position, a toy, or even roleplay, it can catch you off guard. Maybe your first thought is, "Where did that come from?" and your second is, "Do I have to say yes to this to make them happy?" These moments can stir up all kinds of questions: Is this who they really are? Is something missing in our relationship? Are they getti...

Have you ever felt like no matter how much you grow or how open you are to trying new things, it still doesn't feel like enough for your partner? Maybe they're asking for more - more intimacy, more variety, more connection, more emotional depth - and despite your efforts, you feel like you're always falling short. In this thought provoking episode, we explore what's really happening in relationshi...

Are you the one who always initiates sex in your relationship, and you're starting to feel burnt out by it? In this episode, we explore a common dynamic I see in coaching: the higher desire partner feeling like they're carrying the full weight of initiation, facing repeated rejection, and wondering if they're the only one who still wants intimacy. We'll unpack why this happens, what constant initi...

Do you ever feel frustrated when your spouse doesn't want sex the same way, or as often, as you do? In this episode, we explore how rigid expectations around sex can lead to disconnection and resentment in marriage. You'll hear why focusing too much on "your" version of sex can actually block the emotional intimacy you're craving. Whether it's about initiation, frequency, or what "real" sex looks...