Sam's Healing Podcast

Do people really heal from infidelity? Do people ever really get their lives back after being betrayed? What does it mean to actually be a survivor of infidelity and betrayal? Today you'll meet the epitome of not only someone who has healed from infidelity but has returned from the depths of pain and agony to light the way for others to heal. Dr. Debi Silber PhD has become a household name for sur...

What is a trauma bond? Are you or someone you know lost in one? Is it just an infidelity issue or can you be trauma-bonded to someone who hasn't cheated on you? Today on the podcast I speak with regular contributor, Amanda Asproni and discuss these types of bonds, how addicting they are, and how to find freedom and healing from such a bond. We often wonder, "Why can't I break free of him or her?"...

Are you or your partner anxious when it comes to an attachment style?  What is the anxious attachment style you might ask?  An anxious attachment style is a type of insecure attachment that causes people to feel a deep need for validation and reassurance from others often preventing that individual from living a secure life relationally. People with an anxious attachment style may: Fear rejection...

As a betrayed partner, have you ever wondered why your spouse or partner is so avoidant with you? Maybe you're an unfaithful and wonder why you have such significant trouble communicating your emotions, needs and overall feelings? Today on the podcast, trauma expert Amanda Asproni and I discuss two of the most complex attachment styles: the dismissive avoidant and the fearful avoidant and how they...

If you're an unfaithful spouse, let me ask you a question that will define your recovery work: Are You Living Above Suspicion? If not, why? How can we expect the betrayed partner to trust us, lean into us, move towards us or even give us their heart again if we're not committed to living above suspicion? If you're a betrayed, is your partner committed to living above suspicion? Or, do you feel lik...

Today on the podcast I discuss Infidelity, Betrayal Trauma and Self-Compassion with frequent guest clinician and trauma expert Michael Webb. For decades it's been known that shameful people do shameful things and commit heinously shameful acts. But how do we heal the shame while also owning our behavior and destructive choices as unfaithful spouses? How do we show remorse and empathy to our betray...

Are you an avoidant? Are you married to one? If you're married to an avoidant, you're probably frustrated as all get out with them, unless you too are an avoidant? If you're an avoidant you might be wondering what all the fuss is about and why is everyone making such a big deal about it? So what, you avoid conflict and shy away from confrontation and intimacy, what's the issue? Well, today I've in...

For decades the 'inner child' has been a topic of confusion and misunderstanding as it relates to infidelity, problematic sexual behaviors and restoring both marriages and individuals. What actually is the inner child? Can I, an unfaithful, blame my inner child for my choices and affair(s)? Don't I have power over my own choices? Is the 'inner child' just an excuse for my affair or addiction? Toda...

Understanding 'the why' of the affair is vital for a variety of reasons including but not limited to relapse prevention, safety for the betrayed and long term healing for both parties. If an unfaithful doesn't know why they had an affair or acted our, how can they expect to prevent it from happening again in the future? How can they assure their partner they'll never do it again when they were nev...

Today on the podcast you'll meet Tyler Patrick who is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Tyler shares his down to earth insight into how the unfaithful spouse can develop what he calls 'shame resilience.' Without the ability for the unfaithful to be resilient to shame, we'll continue to make every situation and conversation about us instead of our spouse or partner or even children. As long...

Have you ever wondered how to establish and keep your boundaries up after infidelity? What about when the betrayed struggles with abandonment or low self worth? How do they even determine what boundaries they need to set in the first place? Today you'll hear a no nonsense, heart to heart talk from expert clinician and survivor of infidelity, Sharon Rinearson as she shares how she made it through h...

Dr. Jill manning is quickly becoming a regular on Sam's Healing Podcast, encouraging both the unfaithful and the betrayed to find a new level of emotional maturity. While betrayal trauma can feel insurmountable, it's clearly not due to the insight and direction and hope that we can heal from the wisdom of Dr. Manning. While last time we discussed five signs of emotional immaturity, this week we di...

Today you'll meet a great friend and hero of mine, author John Lee. Author of over 25 books, and known therapist to therapists, John Lee has been a guest on Oprah, The View, 20/20, PBS and Barbara Walters. The father of Regression one might say, shares his poignant insight into how we regress in life and how to grow ourselves back up. "Regression is what happens to us when we leave the present mom...

Today you'll meet Dr. Jill Manning who shares five key markers of emotional immaturity that help explain why we have affairs and develop addictions. An expert in her own right but compassionate to the wounds of both the betrayed and the unfaithful, Dr. Manning helps explain what emotional immaturity looks like in the unfaithful and how they can take practical steps to heal themselves and quite pos...

Should a couple explore novelty in their sexuality? What about if that marriage has been affected by infidelity or addiction? If you're dealing with erectile dysfunction, what steps can you take practically to help bring about healing, change and mutual fulfillment? It's these types of questions that require an expert's protocol. Dr. Matthew Hedelius is a true expert in problematic sexual behavior...

Today you'll meet Jordan, a great friend and survivor of infidelity. The nuances to the betrayed male story are different, yet not worse nor better than the betrayed female. They are however, very challenging. It's my opinion betrayed males all over the world continue to feel ostracized and embarrassed, feeling as though they are some sort of albatross with little to no one to relate to. The inter...

Today I welcome back Dr. Jake Porter into the podcast to discuss how the betrayed partner can deal with an unfaithful, narcissistic spouse while trying to save a marriage.  It's a given that narcissism alone can be difficult to maneuver but coupled with infidelity and/or addiction and it can seem absolutely insurmountable.  The good news is, while it may feel like there is literally no tomorrow fo...

Have you ever wondered if you can get your life back after infidelity or addiction? Maybe you feel, at this moment, there's no way in hell you could get your life back and you'll never make it through this awful chapter of your life? It's a normal belief that we'll never be the same again, until we meet someone who is on the other side of the awful ordeal we're going through and they give us hope....

Today I'm joined by expert clinician Dr. Matthew Hedelius who specializes in infidelity, addiction and problematic sexual behaviors.  While the director of Paradise Creek Recovery Center, Dr. Hedelius also provides both practical and multilayered insight into how to care for partners of those who struggle with infidelity and addiction.  With a delicate scalpel you'll hear comforting insight into r...

Have you ever felt like you were the victim in your marriage or relationship?  Maybe you've even felt like a victim all your life?  It's also possible you've felt like your partner continually reverts back to a victim mindset in your situation?  I wonder if they do it not just because they are a betrayed partner, but perhaps something in their childhood affected them so deeply that it's ingrained...

Today you'll meet a new friend, Dr. Jake Porter who shares insight into how to find meaning amidst the rubble of our own choices or our partner's after infidelity or addiction.  Not only an expert in recovery work, Dr. Porter has experienced his own pain and heartbreak which provides a framework of compassion, insight and expert help for those looking for a reason to keep going.  A survivor himsel...

Today I'm joined once again by my great friend, mentor and colleague Michael Webb.  I hope you'll join us today as we participate in fascinating discussion on how we sacrifice, if not abandon ourselves in the pursuit of closeness, oneness and hopeful restoration with our partner.  The difficulty in this is we run the chance of losing ourselves, yet gaining a relationship back.  But how solid is th...

Today you'll hear from one of our favorite guests, a fan favorite and expert clinician, Amanda Asproni.  Not only an expert in dealing with infidelity, addiction, and various forms of trauma, she's also a survivor of infidelity, trauma and narcissistic abuse.  I ask her the tough questions today as she discusses how various forms of trauma can make healing from infidelity and addiction different t...

Today I welcome back in podcast regulars, James and Sharon to discuss why partners cheat in relationships.  It's a common burden the betrayed carry:  that somehow they are the reason their spouse or partner cheated and they were not enough.   Since they are then are responsible for their partner's cheating, they cannot draw boundaries, have hard expectations of their mate, and are then powerless i...

Today, a great friend of mine and an expert clinician, James Annear, discusses intimacy avoidance, childhood trauma, and infidelity. While digging deep into his own training and education James also shares masterful insight from personal experience with his own trauma and avoidance. Have you ever wondered why your spouse, particularly the unfaithful spouse is super avoidant? Have you ever felt lik...