Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Infidelity

After betrayal, big emotions are a reality. When expressed well and received well, they can be a catalyst for healing and growth.    Today we will be talking about big emotions, what they are and how to handle them properly. We will also give you insight to the benefits of working through big emotions together to promote connection and intimacy. We’re excited to share our perspective on this topic...

My betrayed sisters, if you were given the opportunity to learn the truth about your spouse’s sexual betrayal, would you take it?   My fellow betrayers, if there was a safe and judgement free environment where you could get all your secrets out and alleviate your burden of shame, would you go for it?   Would you both be willing to do all it takes to reveal and know the truth?   Join us today as we...

Is your marriage thriving after sexual betrayal? Maybe not. Maybe you are just surviving.   You might just be at the beginning of the journey to healing and still don’t even know if you want to stay married. Maybe you and your spouse have been working hard on recovering from this devastation, but you aren’t really connecting in a fulfilling way yet. Or, maybe you have reached a point as a couple w...

Wives, has your husband stopped his acting out behavior and is even showing some behaviors that you appreciate, but you still feel like he isn’t a changed man? Do you still feel the distance between you? Like he doesn’t really see you?   Husbands, are you doing all the things your wife has requested and feel like you are moving forward in recovery, but she isn’t responding the way you hope or expe...

Have you been on the healing journey after sexual betrayal and you and your spouse are ready to level up? Do you want to experience more true intimacy?   Today we will be talking about 3 simple steps to take that are not easy because it will involve some risk. But, if you are looking for intimacy that goes far beyond anything that our world has to offer, it’s so worth it!   So, come spend a little...

Hopefully you’ve heard both sides of our sexual intimacy story, or lack thereof, in episodes 45 and 46. If not, we encourage you to listen to those to gain a better understanding of how we got to the place where our broken marriage got new life after God intervened and recovery began.   Now, we share a wonderfully intimate sexual life together, but it wasn’t easy getting here. On today’s show we w...

Men, do you have a secret relationship with pornography and/or others outside of your marriage? Are you consumed by your thought life and hiding things from your wife that you don’t want her to know? Is sex with your wife becoming challenging, difficult, or just too much effort? Do you feel misunderstood? Are you afraid that if she knew everything about you, she would leave you?   Last week, Emily...

Ladies, have you spent years trying to connect with your husband in a meaningful and fulfilling way only to find that you just couldn’t get there no matter what you did? Has it ever occurred to you that you may be trying to experience intimacy with a sex-addict? Seems oxymoronic, right? Intimacy with a sex- addict. We think so as well. But how many wives are living this nightmare without knowing w...

Ladies, now that you know your husband has been unfaithful and broken covenant with you; maybe through pornography use, maybe it even escalated to being sexually active outside of your marriage, I want to ask you, what is your biggest fear?   If you are like me, you are afraid that he will do it again. This is a very real and natural thing to be concerned about. Trust me, if it happened once, it c...

What happens to a marriage, shattered by porn-fueled infidelity, that doesn’t undertake a specific recovery process? What happens to the individuals in that marriage?     We believe, it’s likely that this marriage will be devoid of real connection and true intimacy. Sure, it is possible to stay married without recovery. Couples can sweep it under the rug denying it’s impact. Or, one spouse may be...

Have you ever experienced a life-changing revelation that compelled you to share it with others and integrate it into your life? This is similar to the impact of embracing recovery and is at the very heart of what we felt when we surrendered to Jesus. Today, we will explore the 12th step of recovery, and how we can actively share our message while living out these steps in our daily lives.   So, g...

Do you find it difficult to connect with God and know his will for your life?   If you said yes, you are not alone. Just like the recovery journey, it takes a lot of persistent and consistent effort to cultivate a close relationship with the Lord. It doesn’t come naturally to us mere humans, but there is a roadmap for discovering how to make connecting with God a priority. It’s found in the Bible....

Let us be the first to wish you a happy Valentine’s Day! Okay, how did that make you feel? Did you smile? Did it make you cringe? Did it bring up a feeling of excitement, or anger or even dread?   We’ve found that Valentine’s Day is a tricky holiday. Well, it’s not a public holiday, but it is a recognized day on the calendar for celebrating love between sweethearts. We’re going to be talking today...

Do you have a daily practice of self-reflection? Do you ever stop to take stock in how you act, think, and feel when relating to others? Most of us have heard the phrase - wash, rinse, repeat. And no, we aren’t talking about the latest greatest shampoo. Today as we talk about the 10th Step in SSA Recovery we will peel back the layers of what a daily personal inventory can look like and why we shou...

Last week we asked the question: Have you ever hurt someone and come to not only realize that you hurt them but understood exactly how you hurt them?   This week we want to ask: Have you felt any fear or intimidation when making the choice to go back and right that wrong?   We have a special guest today who is going to share with us his experience with Step 9 of the Sex Addicts Anonymous Recovery...

Have you ever hurt someone and come to not only realize that you had hurt them, but understood exactly how you hurt them? Today as we cover the 8th step of recovery of Sex Addicts Anonymous, it is time to do the work of making a list of those we've harmed through our destructive sexual behaviors and become willing to make amends.   Working this step means finding the willingness to bring resolutio...

Have you come to a place in life where you have been humbled by your own actions and are ready to move forward with hope and integrity? It is time to approach God humbly and ask him do for us what we cannot do for ourselves.   From the Green Book of Recovery: "We may wonder why it is necessary to ask humbly. Many of us have confused humility with humiliation. We were more familiar with pleading fo...

Have you come to a place where you understand that some of the things that you do are not beneficial for you? Or are even hurtful to others?   What do you do once you’ve discovered this? Do you say, “Well, that’s just me.” Or, do you decide that you want to change these behaviors for your own good and the good of those you love? If so, how do you go about making these changes?   From the Green Boo...

Have you noticed that New Year’s resolutions don’t last much past January for most people? Statistically, 91% of Americans fail at New Year’s resolutions. That’s not very encouraging.   We were going to talk about the reasons why resolutions are so hard to keep in today’s episode, but then Holy Spirit intervened. So, we threw out our outline and just had a candid conversation about our first New Y...

Before you got married, you had in your head an idea of what you wanted your marriage to look like. You had all kinds of hopes and dreams and they were all good, positive things and you made plans according to this picture in your mind.   But things didn’t go exactly as planned.   This is not the first time this story has played out. God made plans for how he wanted his relationship with mankind t...

Have you gotten to the point in your life where you are ready to tell someone else every terrible thing that you’ve done in your life?   If this thought doesn't excite you or possibly even terrifies you, then you’re in good company. Baring our souls to another person is not something we come by naturally. However, the longer we keep secrets locked behind the door of our minds, the longer we will s...

Have you turned your will and your life over to the care of God? Are you ready to gain an understanding of how you violated your personal moral boundaries and allowed addiction to set into your life? From the Green Book of Recovery: In taking the 4th step, we begin to know ourselves for who we really are. Building on the foundation of the first 3 steps, we take stock of the feelings and patterns t...

Is the holiday season hard for you after sexual betrayal? Or any date that reminds you of the devastation that sexual betrayal brings into a marriage? It sure was for us in the beginning.   What is a healthy way to deal with these triggers when they occur?   Today we are going to have a conversation about how these dubious dates affected our marriage and how we worked through them so that they are...

Have you admitted your powerlessness over your porn addiction? Have you come to believe that a power greater than yourself can restore you to sanity?   These two questions encapsulate steps 1 and 2 of the Sex Addicts Anonymous 12-step recovery program.  In today’s episode we will unpack Step 3. which focuses on surrendering our plans and path. Are you ready to turn EVERY part of your life over to...

What does Thanksgiving Day mean to you? Here in the United States, it is recognized as a national holiday on the 3rd Thursday of November each year. Today we want to look beyond what’s considered to be the traditional activities of this special day, such as gathering of family, turkey dinner with all the fixings, football, post dinner food comas, all the pies and of course, leftovers. And while al...