Steven Kelly in 2048

I was just on this campus. I can't believe this happened. My daughter said she wants to go here because it's close to home. I think I want her to go to that school in Southern California now.

I was really excited when my daughter told me she wanted to go to STI until I found out they'd be using our new X-100 to trick students into donating kidneys to help pay for tuition. I hope she decides to go to that school in Southern California she was talking about.

This is the day that changed the rest of my life.

I'm riding in an autocab on the way to The Red Door Tavern when I have this piece of scrap metal asking me if I want a conversation. I think we took this technology shit way too far.

I just seen this commercial and I thought it was spot on showing life in 2048 Chicago.

The only thing that gets me through the day is having a pack of Big Cigs in my van. Maybe I should limit my habits to caffeine and alcohol.

I just wanted to go to Matooshe's for my breakfast burrito and this rude little shit wanted to snuff me out. Oh well, that's 2048 in America.

It's the day after Thanksgiving, and I'm a bit hungover when my daughter Pepper calls. She always makes me feel better. Our conversation is going great until the phone provider tells us our call is being monitored for quality assurance. Now we have to be careful, because the government is listening. Pepper, please save your honesty for another time.

My daughter is probably the only reason I still give a shit about living. She lifts me up every time I talk to her and she's the only reason why I'm not still mad at my ex-wife. She helped decorate my divorced dad bachelor pad so it's not four tan walls, a couch,1 and a wall screen.

BestSelf is where I finish most days. It's depressing most of the time because when I take the parts there, they usually don't get reattached to the people that lost them to begin with. I mean, in 2048 it's pretty expensive to get a limb reattached if you don't have good insurance. Most insurance policies only cover the first 10 thousand, and who has that?

Our X-25 is the most brilliant piece of equipment Speedfitters has. My company installed the X-25 at Ken Barac's new and used car. They love it because it allows many more customers to make a down payment on a new or used car. And I love it because it separates arms or legs without an ounce of blood being spilled. Basically, someone goes to Ken Barac's, finds a new or used car they like an...

I guess I shouldn't bitch about my job too much, because it's the only one that lets me smoke (and sneak a drink). I really wish I could've saved that girl's arm for reattachment--at least I saved her life.

You'll find out why I chose to work for Speedfitters. Well, I really didn't have much of a choice because I was a "C" student that barely graduated. My choices were: police officer, corrections officer, or soldier.

Pretty crazy picture, huh? I would say not to judge me until you know me. This will give you an idea how much my job sucks working for Speedfitters. Just for your info, I didn't cash in on the blind guy's parts, even though it would've been easy to. Being the nice guy that day cost me 200 bucks.

I'm gonna tell you what a parts reclamation agent does, which is my job. You probably think you have a F-ed up job. And maybe you do. But mine I'm guessing is worse. I show up at an accident scene before an ambulance at an accident scene and decide if a victim's arm or leg is reattached based on their insurance. Basically, if you don't have money to get your arm or leg stitched back on, they get s...